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| Topic: Confused... | |
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Most of you who know me, know I'm not one for airing my issues in the forums, but I am really lost right now.
I just broke up with my guy yesterday, not because I wanted to but because I felt there was no other way for us to make the changes we need to make and still be together. Things have been kind of messed up for awhile and not a lot has changed, which has led me to the aforementioned realization. We care about each other a lot and it seems like everything else (except the way we feel for each other) is getting in the way. I do want this to work but I feel I can not continue subject myself to a somewhat dysfunctional relationship as it is making me unhappy. Am I stupid for breaking up with him even though I still care? |
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It sounds like you made a healthy decision for yourself. Just because you care for someone doesn't mean you need to be in a relationship and a 'dysfuntional' one like you said. Do what you need to do for yourself and he should do the same. And if you two can come back into a relationship, so be it, if not, then you know that you did what was best for you!
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That logic makes perfect sense in my head but my heart hurts, a lot. He doesn't hate me but he really isn't happy with me right now
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nope, just human. People change in some ways and not in others. To live in a situation where one or the other or both suffer is wrong. Sometimes all you can do is go your own way and just be friends. Other times it is just better to go your separate ways.
And this is the way of the apple and the orange young disciple. Granted a relationship breaking up is tough but relationships do change and sometimes end. on to the next episode... 
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Trust your heart and the rest will follow....eventually lol
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((((msmyka))))
you know my pin if you need to talk
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It sounds like you made a healthy decision for yourself. Just because you care for someone doesn't mean you need to be in a relationship and a 'dysfuntional' one like you said. Do what you need to do for yourself and he should do the same. And if you two can come back into a relationship, so be it, if not, then you know that you did what was best for you!
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That logic makes perfect sense in my head but my heart hurts, a lot. He doesn't hate me but he really isn't happy with me right now
Yes it will hurt, but who ever said that growing didn't hurt!
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It sounds like you made a healthy decision for yourself. Just because you care for someone doesn't mean you need to be in a relationship and a 'dysfuntional' one like you said. Do what you need to do for yourself and he should do the same. And if you two can come back into a relationship, so be it, if not, then you know that you did what was best for you!
Our issues are our own. There is no "someone else", or just wanting to be single. It's because I was truly unhappy with things the way they were. He is a good man and I can see myself spending my life with him but I feel like if things dont change now they will end badly. |
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Most of you who know me, know I'm not one for airing my issues in the forums, but I am really lost right now. I just broke up with my guy yesterday, not because I wanted to but because I felt there was no other way for us to make the changes we need to make and still be together. Things have been kind of messed up for awhile and not a lot has changed, which has led me to the aforementioned realization. We care about each other a lot and it seems like everything else (except the way we feel for each other) is getting in the way. I do want this to work but I feel I can not continue subject myself to a somewhat dysfunctional relationship as it is making me unhappy. Am I stupid for breaking up with him even though I still care?  Im next
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No mirror, there is no "NEXT" guy. If this doesn't work out I don't foresee dating again in the near future.
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That logic makes perfect sense in my head but my heart hurts, a lot. He doesn't hate me but he really isn't happy with me right now
Yes it will hurt, but who ever said that growing didn't hurt!
I think it hurts more knowing I hurt him 
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UGH! All he can seem to grasp is that I "dumped" him and not that I am actually trying to work this out.
Is time on our own to sort out our issues really too much to ask for? |
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Edited by
AGoodGuy1026
on
Tue 05/05/09 12:32 PM
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I don't know you, glad you have your close friends here to lean on for support, BUT after reading your posts... you don't seem "confused" to me... seems you have had some intellectual clarity in the midst of some emotional turmoil...
keep your chin up! be true to yourself...   
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UGH! All he can seem to grasp is that I "dumped" him and not that I am actually trying to work this out. Is time on our own to sort out our issues really too much to ask for?
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I don't know you, glad you have your close friends here to lean on for support, BUT after reading your posts... you don't seem "confused" to me... seems you have had some intellectual clarity in the midst of some emotional turmoil... keep your chin up! be true to yourself...
I guess my confusion lies in the fact that he says he loves me and wants me to be happy, but the second I tell him I need this to be happy I become the bad guy. Not to toot my own horn but I've been a phenomenal GF thusfar and don't feel like I'm being treated as such during these hard times when I need him to be a little understanding of what I need. 
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i'm so sorry you are hurting.
you did what you know is the right thing for you to do.. theres nothing wrong with that in my opinion.
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So, you're on 'a break' ???
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Most of you who know me, know I'm not one for airing my issues in the forums, but I am really lost right now. I just broke up with my guy yesterday, not because I wanted to but because I felt there was no other way for us to make the changes we need to make and still be together. Things have been kind of messed up for awhile and not a lot has changed, which has led me to the aforementioned realization. We care about each other a lot and it seems like everything else (except the way we feel for each other) is getting in the way. I do want this to work but I feel I can not continue subject myself to a somewhat dysfunctional relationship as it is making me unhappy. Am I stupid for breaking up with him even though I still care? No, you did the right thing it sounds like. My mom still loved my dad after they divorced, but she knew they could no longer be a couple, even though they both love each other. |
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