... Gyp ..SAAAAAAAAAY ... ... that is all ...

Carry on, as you were ...

Sybil says Purple says " um...... I forgot what I was going to say "

Dear diary, I had a great day riding motorcycles. Got 160 miles in before the icy rains started at dark. It was 87 degrees. Now its 56. Brrrr.

When you have to visit a public toilet, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place.



Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the cubicle doors.



Every cubicle is occupied.



Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the cubicle.



You get in to find the door won't latch.



It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants!



The dispenser for the modern 'seat covers' (invented by someone's Mum, no doubt) is handy, but empty.



You would hang your bag on the door hook, if there was one, so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mum would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!) down with your pants and assume ' The Stance.



In this position, your aging, toneless, thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but having not taken time to wipe the seat or to lay toilet paper on it, you hold 'The Stance.'



To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser.



In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Dear, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!' Your thighs shake more.



You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your bag (the bag around your neck, that now you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time).



That would have to do, so you crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail.



Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work.



The door hits your bag, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest and you and your bag topple backward against the tank of the toilet.



'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, while losing your footing altogether and sliding down directly onto the TOILET SEAT.



It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late.



Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try.



You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear,



'You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.



By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl and spraying a fine mist of water that covers your bum and runs down your legs and into your shoes.



The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force and you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.



At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted.



You try to wipe with a sweet wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.



You can't figure out how to operate the taps with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting



You are no longer able to smile politely to them.



A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDEDit?)



You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.



As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used and left the men's toilet.



Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long and why is your bag hanging around your neck?



This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with any public rest rooms/toilets (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!).



It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers that other commonly asked question about why women go to the toilets in pairs.



It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your bag and hand you Kleenex under the door.



This HAD to be written by a woman!



No one else could describe it so accurately

when in doubt whip it out !

how much wood can a wood chuck-if a wood chuck -chucked wood ?????

kiss my (_*_) then !
(*Y*) booba .....

It also explains why women go as a mob to the loo.

It takes 8 of them how to figure out how to go to the loo.

Dear diary......it just took me 3 times to type diary.......

Ughhhhhhhhh Im tired. My bum hurts, my eyebrows hurt, my back hurts, my eyelashes hurt.....MY HAIR HURTS!!! Why ? do you ask??? Because I just ran an 8 hour marathon and Im hungry but Im too tired to chew so I will just make some neo citran which I hope will knock me out enough for my brain to stop thinking and put me to sleep!!

oH GREAT@@!!!! CHILD PROOF LOCKS ON THE NEO CITRAN. You cant just rip it open you HAVE TO GO AND FIND SCISSORS!!!

Today on Dear Diary OMG not another Diary...........


WORLDS COLLIDE!!!

will Sybil be able to handle the transition???????????

will Purple be able to think of anything to say????????

Will Gypsy find that yellow goat I ate??????????


~~~ stay tuned after these commercials for another episode of ...


DEAR DIARY OMG NOT ANOTHER DIARY PART 687950439495885757378283994955068

Sybil says gypsy says..........the main ingredient in this happy dope drink is most likely kitty litter mixed with lemon juice!!

would you please roll the fridge to me????? I cant reaaaaaaaaaaaaach it!!!!

Im cranky!!!

<------checks the calendar.....


<-------needs CHOCOLATE STAT!!!

we need to set up a remote control on that fridge so it will come to us

Why havent they invented it yet??? WHY HAVENT WE INVENTED IT YET????

I got the AWESOMEST SUNGLASSES TODAY !!! they got like red mirror .........coooool an I got some REALLLY red hair color to brighten up my hair to go with em

HAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Im going to have nightmares now about the fridge who came and GOT ME!!!!!

Youre going to burn the place down!!!