3years 5 months

Its ok jimmy...........I know you feel guilty. I dont know what to say but with everyone.....whether its a death or breaking up.....there is a mourning period and its different for everyone.

I am sorry for your loss Jimmy. She would want you to move on and be happy.

Loving another doesn't mean you have to stop loving her. Love expands, grows, changes dresses. Your wife will always be an important part of your history.

Take as much time as you need but please please please don't feel guilty for living your life ... you have the rest of it left to live.

Best wishes!

Thank you so much I have not looked at myself as feeling guilty. That really makes seance now. I guess being married and true to that marrage for 20 years there would be guilt. Wow I think that your statement puts a new out look in to my thoughts.

Thank you Gypsy41 you have a lot of my respect.

It would seem to me that living a full joyous life IS honoring the relationship you shared with your wife. Let your bright light shine in your own way and time.

I can tell you this much FOR SURE. It takes as long it takes and it is a GOOD thing you are facing it head on now instead of trying to find ways to numb it like drugs or alcohol. You simple cant go around it you Must go thru it. That said, don't worry too much about the dreams. They go away in time on their own. They may pop up every now and again out of the blue, but they will not remain a contstant.

Your heart, you Will find even if you don't believe it now, is bigger than you think. You can still love your wife but you'll find your heart is big enough to allow another in too. They can both be there..there is NO competition. It does take a very special person to date a widowed person...as it comes with a lot of "stuff". Just remember....your heart is big enough for both of them. When the raw raw pinning stops for your wife, then you'll know..you're ready.

Good Luck

When it feels right, you are ready.
I started just going out with widow'd friends of friends.
Not a real date, just doing things with a group.
Later started solo & still am dating.
Do NOT think I will marry again, but never say never.
It will be 12 yrs May 2.