Is it natural to want to have everything our own way? And is it extremely selfish or hurtful? I was talking to a guy, but he was calling so much (and I know I should be so grateful but it's hard to go from no attention to over attention for me). Was it wrong of me to tell him how I felt? (sorry if this is lame or a repeat, but you all have been so friendly and given me great advice before)thanks.

that's what communication's for. you're never wrong to express your feelings and opinions......what would be wrong is....if you don't.

To an extent, it IS natural to want everything to be in your favor. However, most people are able to temper those feelings with compassion, altruism, and other emotions that help balance those selfish feelings out.

And yes- being overly selfish is often hurtful to others, as it also means you aren't willing to respect the wishes of another.

IMO...we all have boundaries that we need to hold to. as long as you were honest, then you did what you needed to do

sorry, it's late and had a rough day (if I didn't make sense above lol)

You're right, I should know its quite selfish and unrespectful. I tried to be as straighforward in my honesty as I could.

And you all are helpful and make sense. :)

You simply told him how you felt, there is nothing wrong about that.

You are being honest.

If it was making you uncomfortable, allways listen to that feeling within yourself.

Grateful someone is speaking to you?

Hon don't- not be yourself just to have someone speak to you.

It sounds like he may be a bit... controling or possesive. OR
He may be just really excited to have a lady to talk to also, hence the lots of calls.

Sometimes when we try not to over do it with someone, we end up over doing it anyway.

Allways be yourself... espeically when something makes you uncomfortable. You did the right thing.

My question would be to you... How did he react to what you said to him?

there was some uncomfortable feelings that i wanted to pretend they werent that, not very smart of me. he just said he didnt expect that from me...i just kind of feel like dirt right now, and im not sure exactly why, and i dont mean for this to be a whiny thread (but oh gosh i think i made it that), im just a little down and advice and opinions always help me see what i dont want to, if that makes sense at all.

Don't feel down about it. I believe you did the right thing.

Him saying he did'nt exspect that from you- sounds controlling to me.
He should'nt be exspecting anything from you at this point since this is a new acqaintance.

Perhaps he wanted you to feel bad so he could have it his way.

I REPEAT don't feel bad for being honest and saying what you feel.

It is much better to do that, than to keep being uncomfortable and continueing something that you feel is'nt right.

Hope this helps.

I agree with you, I just feel in such a funk right now. Trying to shake it off. Sometimes when I can read others opinions, I can gain a different perspective. I am analytical and I am trying to shake this funk that fell over me recently and I feel its because of this situation, so Im just trying to make it make sense. Im sure Im just being silly, but had to get it out. im mad at myself for being so mad..go figure.... Thanks!!

In a funk.... I hear (((Hugs))) help that out.

Your pretty- the guys will be lining up at your door!

I feel better guys! Thank you!!! I was going to edit the main post but it wont let me......Night!!!

Those "uncomfortable feelings" are your intuition telling you something isn't quite right. Your mind may not be able to pinpoint just what it is that isn't right, but your inner voice has it pegged. So go with your gut.

It sounds like the guy may have been a little clingy or needy, wanting more of you than you're willing to give at this time. Just like men don't like clingy, needy women, women don't always like clingy, needy men. He may have been in the early stages of control and manipulation and your intuition is telling you that. If that's what you're sensing, RUN! If you think he might just be a nice guy and you'd like to move slower, maybe you could set some boundaries.

I've had that happen a few times, it's nice to get the attention but it can be overbearing.....just be honest in a gentle way

yes its natural

Thanks everyone, I appreciate your understanding, as I know I would get great advice, I sometimes over-think things way too much, and I believe you are correct. I have to go with my gut and be honest. Cheers to you all for sharing!!!