...who thinks that all the " rules " that are set out for dating go a long way toward keeping anyone from dating???

I have seen a few things stated as " should/should not " things that would go a long way toward keeping a woman ( provided she actually pays attention to the relationship " experts " ) from actually finding someone worthwhile because the guy doesn't fit into the proper set of " do this/don't do that " rules.

Same goes for men. Although for us it would seem to be a bit easier. The main thing we ask her not to do is go nuts and boil our pets or something.

Darn Rules * kicks the dirt

nope not the only one,

my response? damn the rules...meant to be broken anyway. Nobody is perfect, learn to respect yourself and your partner despite your flaws and if you don't work out....oh well.....move on get over it it's a big world

Its just as bad all of us giving advice on how to get a boy/girl when we are looking ourselves. LOL

I think the best thing about this site is the comradory. It helps when people are lonely or sad to have people to talk to...or be entertainned. Everyone is so supportive here to people in need.

Everyone loves when someone tells them it's the others persons loss!

Wanna know why I think the " rules " are bull****??

Because not everyone is the same.

Therefore, trying to put everyone under the same umbrella set of " rules " for dating is an exercise in futility.

hey isaac gotta question for ya

So true...but sometimes is it really the other persons loss? how do we know? when we don't know the other person. I used to say those things until i had an epiphany i don't know anything about the person they could have been the reason it ended.....i'm just being honest from now on and if I don't have nothing nice to say...i'm not saying anything at all...hence why I don't post all that much anymore...that and i'm taken

shoot

I was looking at your #2 picture and.....whats is your deffinition of MODERATE drinking.

Ah. But the difference is, we speak from experience without trying to sell something. Ever notice that 99% of the rules come from books on relationships that people are trying to sell??



I totally agree.



I kinda disagree with this. But only because of my personal viewpoint on it.

When a friend of mine ( and I don't have many ) tells me it's the other person's loss, I do appreciate it.

However, when it comes from a stranger who has never taken time to talk to me and get to know me, I find it to be somewhat trite. After all...how would they actually know?

moderate MOST of the time. That was an unusual occasion for me...i found out my ex-wife(then wife) was having an affair with my little brother while i was on deployment....bad night but funny picture(i thought)

These "rules" are meant to be used as guidelines but none of them are set in stone. If you feel the "rules" don't apply to you that is fine.

Personally, I believe that the "rules" I've read over the years are simply for educational purposes. I wish someone had posted some of those rules for me 20 years ago. Perhaps then my life would have taken a different, more positive, course.

Knowledge is power, take it for what it is meant for, JAAG2112. It's to educate women AND men about negative behaviors. That's all.

It is a funny pic......heck with that story I'm surprised yuo have so many close on...Heck I'll drink one for the story

I had so many clothes on cuz i had good drinking buddy's my lil sister and her fiance not getting naked in front of Sis! lol.

I understand all of that. The problem with it is this.

Even though those rules aren't supposed to be " set in stone ", too many people take them that way.

In a way, it can put a severe crimp in your search.

Think about this.

You meet ( online or in person ) a totally incredible, awesome, handsome ( and all that other good stuff ) guy. After talking to him for a while, you find out that he recently broke up with someone. The " rules " say that's a no no.

So....because of all of these rules, even though the guy isn't completely hung up on his ex, never even THOUGHT about comparing you to her, it's a given that you have to stop seeing/talking to him.

Even if you did keep seeing him, because of all the times you have seen the " rules ", you would have it in the back of your mind that he is doing what the rules say he's gonna do.

* Disclaimer * I use " you " only as an example. This usage is not meant to be taken personally.

I am terrible at the dating game. I never understood all of the rules. Someone needs to send me a rule book.

Dang! U mean there's rules?? How come nobunny told me??? No wonder I can't seem to find a date.

Lol@Disclaimer. I am mature enough to know that you were not referring to me personally and I also understand the feeling that such a disclaimer is even necessary..lol. It's hard to know exactly when you will be offending someone on here..lol.

Your example has happened to many people (both men and women) over the years. And it will continue to happen until people are mature enough to realize that the "rules" are not going to apply to every person in every situation.

So, basically, your irritation concerning the rules is not really about the rules but more about how people are using them, correct?

If this is the case, you can't blame the rules..lol. But, you can blame humanity for using knowledge in an ineffectual manner. However, isn't doing this a bit futile? I mean, seriously, it's going to continue until everyone is educated and mature enough to know the "rules" and use them in an effectual manner, isn't it?

Just go to Amazon. You'll find hundreds of books with the rules all there in black and white for you.

By the way, most of them are written by single people.

My irritation is with both of the examples.

The fact that people actually think that the rules should always apply, and the fact that people think it's a good idea to have rules in the first place.

Like I said...most of the rules have been made up by people who continue to be single.

Finding someone is hard enough as it is. Adding a set of arbitrary rules, which don't/won't apply to everyone, makes things even harder.