Ok well I just broke up w/ my ex about 2 months ago.. He pretty much had my boys under control!! I just don't know what to do anymore!!! They think that I am making a joke every time I talk to them.. I lost all control!!! Any advice for this single mom????

as a single parent of two teenage daughters who are very well behaved speak to them in a stern voice when you are trying to get your point across and when they need a time out it is a minute for every year they are old. 7 years old=7 minutes.

ok!!!!! ty so much!!!!!

Take control. There is no alternative.

Just always remain calm and don't raise your voice. It's important for them to know they cannot control you (causing you to become upset) by misbehaving. When discipline is necessary...simply assign it and let them know that they are responsible for the consequences of their actions. If they misbehave...it is they who have caused the disciplinary action....not you. There's never a need for shouting or losing control of yourself at any point.

I have thought about sitting down with them and making a rule list, and making them choose their consequences if those rules r broken???

As the mom of 4girls u have to gain and remain on control. Aslso remember they are in the middle of this breakup. Find out how they are feeling by having family pow wow time. Do not ever let anyone take control again!!!

Your ex husband, ex boyfriend?

I don't agree with the "letting them choose their own punishment" idea. You have to know your children well enough to know what their currency is. What's important to them? And what will cause them pain and distress if they lose it? Then you have the formula for causing them some good and painful consequences. Also depends on how old they are. If they are young....time out works pretty good. When they get older....you can get much more creative and evil when it comes to finding ways to initiating great regret within them for whatever it was they have done.

Remember....the key is to make sure they know that it's THEM that causes them to suffer the consequences....not you. You have no choice but to discipline them.

Example: Little Johnny doesn't clean up his room. He knows he is suppose to, but he doesn't. You happen to know that he loves to go to the ice cream shop with the family for ice cream sundaes. When you come home and discover he has not cleaned his room...you say "Hey everybody!! Let's go to the ice cream shop!! Has everyone done their chores?" So everyone goes...even Little Johnny. But Little Johnny doesn't get an ice cream sundae. He gets to sit there and watch everyone else eat theirs. And is it your fault.....nope. And do you think that he'll clean up his room next time? You bet he will.

But that just sounds so mean to have him sit there and watch!!! I don't know if I could do it..

Thank u for advice!!! I don't plan to let anyone take control ever~~

Ex-boyfriend.. I have never been married!!!

My son will be 10 in June. I broke up with the man who raised him 8 months ago. We have had some really trying times since then. See, my son is really angry with me because he doesn't understand why I left "daddy" and why he can't live with him. He knows he is not his real father and he knows we had problems, but he is still looking for a place to put the blame. Naturally, I left..so it's my fault in his eyes. This has posed some big issues with respect and doing what he's told. He's even been suspsended from school, almost expelled etc. I started having him write sentences as a consequence because nothing else was working. Now when he doesn't do what he's told, talks back, or gets into trouble at school, he sits in the corner and writes sentences.

This hasn't solved every problem, but it's definately improved things a great deal. The important thing though is to do it immediately. Don't give second chances, don't say if you don't stop your gonna write sentences, don't compromise. As soon as the rule is broken or they don't get up and put their toys away the first time you ask, you give out the consequence. After awhile, they start to figure out that mom isn't taking the nonsense anymore. At least mine is. :)

You're main complaint is that the kids don't take you seriously. Don't you think they'll take you very seriously if you do this? I do. I'm sure that tactic will get you very good results!

Watch supernanny. Most of the discipline she uses is psychologically based and works.