After dating for 6 months (my first serious relationship since losing my husband) I discovered that he was cheating on me and had been for about a month. He was asking me to commit to marrige, which I knew he wanted, I had offered to 'bow out' as friends so that he could be free to pursue someone more where he was in his life, rather than except my offer he contined to tell me he loved me, continued to ask me to marry him. Meanwhile he was seeing someone else including unprotected sex with both of us. In this day I find that alone reprehensable. So any thoughts on why we cheat, what do we gain vs. what we lose?

Goes under relationship but don't worry they will move it for you

Welcome to the site

They cheat because they can. Welcome

there is no good reason for this. at best he's dumb.
at worst, i'd be tempted to say something "uncharitable" about him...

Cheating on ones loved one is an answer I have been trying to answer for years.....All know is if he is cheating on you now it will not change....Even if you confront him.......LET HIM GO YOU ARE A BETTER PERSON AND DESERVE A BETTER PERSON IN YOUR LIFE.............JMO

People cheat because they are narcissistic, and selfish.

It's am emotional pathology that is within themselves and has no bearing on the person with whom they cheated.

Oh he is soooo gone. But thanks for the encouragement! I do deserve better and trust i will find it!

he was and is both. would love to publish his name to protect other women....

me too and thank you, your repy gave me a smile! but he is who he is and good ridance to bad rubbish. He had his good stuff too but ill won out!

i understand where your coming from. i was with my ex hubby off and on for 2yrs before we got married and we didnt even celebrate our first annerversary together
i kick him out of the house 4 differnt times and the 4th was the last. he cheated on me before during and after i put up with it... while we were separate the last time he got together with this one lady and they were together awhile and they had a child.. he cheated on her with his 2nd wife. and he told her that we were already divorced which we wernt, he also told her that he threw me down the stairs (that NEVER HAPPEN) he also told her i burned his clothes( that was funny) hes been married to his 2nd wife for 16yrs and they have a 18yr old daughter, and im pretty sure he has cheated on her... when we were together he though he was gods gift to woman.. when i was pg with our son way before we got married, a friend of mine was having a problem in her marriage, and i let her stay with us, that nite he tried to fool around with her and she kept brushing him off. well the next day she had appt to go to and she called me and told me what he was trying to do, and i confronted him while talking to her on the phone, and he cracked up laughing, i knew he was lying and in fact told him that i belived her over him, for i knew him better

People cheat for all kinds of reasons, some do it to get caught, especially if they feel they are being taken for granted or not appreciated, it brings things out in the open and they've proved to themselves that someone wants them. Others do it because they can, it's an ego thing, makes them feel good.

My stance on it is that if you dont want the person you're with then leave them, an affair is exciting because it's secretive and usually full of passion, but if the affair turns into a proper relationship, the novelty can wear off and you're back where you started but with a different face, or that person isn't who you thought they were and so you regret getting into that situation.

Either way people always get hurt, and that kind of hurt takes a long time to heal, believe me.

I sincerely hope you never have to go through that pain again but like all of us you probably will, if so follow your head not your heart. Be happy!!!

It's just a sickness I think. Some men (like my ex) are just not happy having just one woman.. it's like a contest to see just how many scores he can get.

Hi again seamac...when you want to reply to a particular person, go to the bottom of their post, click on the 'quote' word, then when the reply box comes up, scroll down past what they say, past the [ quote ] at the end of their stuff, and type your reply.

that way, they know you are responding to them...

YEP!!!!!!!!!! Nearly....


make sure you scroll down past the [ /quote] at the bottom of my post, before you type...

(in the reply post box.)

Hi Jess, thanks for the welcome advice, silly but still not sure I am doing this correctly. Just did what you said to do but message windows not appearing as explained...I am new to forums but not to computers, hate feeling dumb, feel free to keep advising me and may I add that you are one very hot looking women! Thanks again.

Hahahaha! thanks...I think.

I remember when all these functions were added, I need three interpretors, a seeing eye dog and a walrus!!!!!


It takes a bit of time, but driving lessons are kind of fun...if no one has a steering wheel in their hands.

I don't have a reason for why people cheat. The only thing I do know is that it doesnt matter who you are is does hurt, and your not alone. Then we have questions like, do I not make you feel good enough, was it love or lust, does he, or she have something I dont? Not only can it be heartbreaking, it can also be a pride breaker. But there are the good ones that will never cheat, they may be rare, but they are there!

Welcome

They (men and women) cheat b/c they don't know how to be happy.



Happy starts with self.
You have to be good with yourself before you can make
others happy.

I dont ask why.....I just say bye!!!

There is no reason in the world to wonder about people who have no morals. Just say bye...