What do you call an insincere Hippo?
A Hippocrite.

How do you get a Hippo to do what you want?
Try Hippnotism.

How do Hippos commute?
In a Hippopotobus.

What do you call two Hippos riding a bicycle?
Optimistic.

How do you vaccinate a Hippo?
with a Hippodermic needle.

What did the Hippo get when he strted exercising every day?
Hippopotomuscles.

How can you be sure a Hippo is telling the truth?
Have him take the Hippocratic Oath.

What do Hippos put on their hot Dogs?
Hippopotamustard.

Where should you bury Hippo?
In a Hippocrypt.

What did the Hippo get when he stopped shaving?
A Hippopotomustache.

What happens to hippos when they catch cold?
Hippothermia.

What do you call a Hippo who thinks he's always sick?
A Hippocondriac.

What do hippos make when they are in a band?
Hippopotomusic.