I blame society for all my misery... and my parents for my lack of social skills... and longhair biker for making me feel inadequate mingling with my motorolla sidekick... I don't even know what 2 blackberries daisychained together means! All I know is that my Sidekick Slide now feels more like a dingleberry slide...

There's a hole in my bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza....

You suck! I'm humming that damn song now!

Is that really you, asking such a deep question?

Due to damages, both beyond my control and those I did to myself, I wound up not knowing how to be a whole adult male.

I'm 55 now. When I was 35, I started a journey to salvage, redefine and reconstruct my life. An attempt to repair the hole.

AA helped to a point. Have 20 years without booze. I needed more. I found a mens group. We challenged, confronted and learned male intimacy. Nothing to do with sex.

From there, I did other mens work.

If a male out there is relating, there is a group of men who travel the country doing male initiations. It was a very powerful experience and I walked away knowing, I could be a whole, strong, secure adult man.

Google gathering of men.

Whaddya' mean is that ME asking such a deep question? I have a depth that very few have reached & tapped into...or I have allowed into... I took a chance by making this thread...& looking at all the thoughtful, intelligent posters here...it was a good pay-off!

Good journey, Willing...

Yes, you do have depth and I am lucky that you have let me tap into that......What????....what????

STOP IT, BEAST!

I really could've gone on a lot longer without knowing that little jewel of information.

Sorry Music, I was caught up in the frenzy of the moment.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlBiLNN1NhQ&feature=related

Some things in life are bad,
They can really make you mad,
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle.
And this'll help things turn out for the best.
And....
Always look on the bright side of life, (whistle)
Always look on the bright side of life, (whistle)
If life seems jolly rotten,
There's something you've forgotten,
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps,
Don't be silly chumps.
Just purse your lips and whistle, that's the thing.
And...
Always look on the bright side of life. (whistle)
Come on...
Always look on the bright side of life...
For life is quite absurd,
And death's the final word,
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin,
Give the audience a grin,
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.
So always look on the bright side of death,
Just before you draw your terminal breath,
Life's a piece of ****,
When you look at it,
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show,
Keep 'em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And always look on the bright side of life,
Always look on the right side of life,
Come on guys, cheer up.
Always look on the bright side of life.
Worse things happen at sea, you know.
Always look on the bright side of life.
I mean - what have you got to lose?
You know, you come from nothing,
you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!

I am guilty of filing a hole right now, with pot.
But I see it as my happy pill. And it made me aware of the emotional vampires around me.
Long Haired Biker had some interesting points.
I'll get there some day.
But I am happy discovering 'me' in the process.

Oh crap, Dancere! Now I can see Eric Idle hangin' on the cross singing that!

Cheer up ya ole bugga ...

Often.

I have watched girlfriends leave a destructive relationship, and go mad! Drinking, staying out all night, being profoundly promiscuous, over-everything, in their behaviours!

They get to a point, or a place, where the wildish behaviour catches up, and when they ask wtf am I doing?

I say filling holes...not the one that is empty...but every other one they can, to avoid the one they need to be working on.

How do I know this?

I was once that same wildish woman, as my girlfriends, doing everything I could to avoid the pain of doing the work.

As I have sat here reading this thread I have thought about those few that I have known that seemed to be filling that hole. I was thankful that they were some of the lucky ones and was able to get off the drugs and pull their life together.

I must say this is a very deep thought provoking thread and a excellent one at that.

Many times. I've seen them suffer and I've seen them die. The suffering is mandatory.

I used to work with this salesman Dan, and he did lots of coke.
Well then we got this younger guy Tim, who was a great salesman and did even more coke than the other guy. When these to started working together it was trouble.
One day Dan's nose starts bleeding and it don't stop for about 4 days. He finally sees a Dr., who packed his nose with Pharmaceutical grade liquid cocaine.

'There's a hole in Danny's nose where the money goes'