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| Topic: ''Unhappily'' | |
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Everytime i see a family,
husband and wife, and newborn baby it makes me sad to see the faces of the blessed ones living happily. Oh how i prayed, oh how i wished i had this kind of happiness, i missed the mark, this is what i alway's wanted all has been denied and delayed it is way to late for me. now i am a bitter shell of a woman on her own living unhappily! i live in the now getting served up whatever is dished out to me. you see! all my fruitful years were ripped away by an illness in my mind, diagnosis ''bipolar insanity'' all the blessings i should have had were replaced by numbing medication,it ruined my body, and living happily was out of the question, love became harder to find all because i went out of my mind! i live unfulfilled because the dreams of hearth and home were killed. i never had the dream wedding, never was the one to wear the gown or be the lovely bride. i never had the blessing of feeling a newborn babe kick inside. easy for some who never knew this longing! don't hand me a sermon or preach about what i had to say! noone can relate to this pain, so i live unhappily today all the best things in life and blessings have skipped me over, leaving me angry, empty and dry! All i ever hoped for has left me all my dreams smashed, now i sit with the tears i cry why God why? the years are gone by i'm not happy,i sigh i'm ''unhappily''all there is to do is die!! |
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Soooooo, how ya feelin now?
You requested no lecture - deal! |
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My son born with Down syndrome indeed
Focuses on what is and all he can be Two holes in his heart Two holes in one eye Hairs missing on his head Yet he doesn't cry His abilities are grand His smiles so pure I learn from him each day To expect so much more To see what is good To not label or be unkind Happiness is All in one's mind SDF Wishing YOU the very best. Focusing on abilities can make all the difference in the world |
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I did not mean to bring anyone down, this is just the way i feel! i watched my sister and everyone else in my family have the dream weddings and that was my goal in life!so i write about the pain!!
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I did not mean to bring anyone down, this is just the way i feel! i watched my sister and everyone else in my family have the dream weddings and that was my goal in life!so i write about the pain!! You need not apologize for creating something that helps people see the way you feel. Please remember that while somethings may be lost to you, but the chance for happiness is never gone as long as there is breath and hope. |
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 thanks for understanding! most people cannot relate to this pain unless they have been through it themselves!i feel kinda cheated!and all people do is preach that it is gods will for me to be alone!!thanks again!
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thanks for understanding! most people cannot relate to this pain unless they have been through it themselves!i feel kinda cheated!and all people do is preach that it is gods will for me to be alone!!thanks again! Well if that's what they are telling you don't listen, they haven't a clue. You deserve to be happy and obviously alone is not making you happy. |
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Everytime i see a family, husband and wife, and newborn baby it makes me sad to see the faces of the blessed ones living happily. Oh how i prayed, oh how i wished i had this kind of happiness, i missed the mark, this is what i alway's wanted all has been denied and delayed it is way to late for me. now i am a bitter shell of a woman on her own living unhappily! i live in the now getting served up whatever is dished out to me. you see! all my fruitful years were ripped away by an illness in my mind, diagnosis ''bipolar insanity'' all the blessings i should have had were replaced by numbing medication,it ruined my body, and living happily was out of the question, love became harder to find all because i went out of my mind! i live unfulfilled because the dreams of hearth and home were killed. i never had the dream wedding, never was the one to wear the gown or be the lovely bride. i never had the blessing of feeling a newborn babe kick inside. easy for some who never knew this longing! don't hand me a sermon or preach about what i had to say! noone can relate to this pain, so i live unhappily today all the best things in life and blessings have skipped me over, leaving me angry, empty and dry! All i ever hoped for has left me all my dreams smashed, now i sit with the tears i cry why God why? the years are gone by i'm not happy,i sigh i'm ''unhappily''all there is to do is die!! Season of River There is a river that flows In season it shall dry and expose Lying on the parched grit sand what has dried fits in your hand a holding place the withered remains is there beauty or disdain Once a river, now a bed void of movement, is it dead? When the season takes its turn life and movement, balance earned Who will stop the river now He whom to, you shall bow. Raine Les 3/25/2009 You have such intensity, searching for peace in your hopes and longings. There are many who share your feelings and emotional placement. Keep writing, and share your thanksgiving. We do appreciate encouragement. |
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Yes, perhaps all there is left to do IS die....grieve your losses and then die to old feelings, old beliefs, old behaviors....
Bipolar is an illness yet it is treatable, and although your life trajectory may have been altered, it does not mean you cannot find happiness. You can still have a loving relationship and get married, you can adopt, you can be happy...if you believe you deserve happiness. If you believe it is only for others, that's the way you'll see any kind of happiness, even if it is staring you right in the face as it lies at your very feet. Don't give into fear 
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I feel your pain but hope you know you are not alone as I ride in this boat with you.
The mania called biplar by the masses that do not understand rages within far from the reaches of my hand Were it closer to the fingers that I might reach I would rip it away and on it's ugly head I would stand The beauty in these rages can only be felt from deep within a soul that truly understands where it is this comes from instead of seeing where my anger lands The apathy that is quick to follow is oft misunderstood it's just me being heartless feeling but with my hands The aloneness is something I carry but still something I should share alone is what I feel yet people are everywhere I do all I can to not let it get me down knowing there is happiness with another in my life waiting for me somewhere I have seen what life might be with someone there to share all the little things about which I do care Being diagnosed was really hard on me and I wasn't diagnosed till just a few years ago but since then life has been almost harder than it ever was before. Things do change though. I have made some drastic changes in my life recently and things are looking up for me. If I can do it so can you!!! I have faith in you and am here if you want to talk about it... |
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I feel your pain but hope you know you are not alone as I ride in this boat with you. The mania called biplar by the masses that do not understand rages within far from the reaches of my hand Were it closer to the fingers that I might reach I would rip it away and on it's ugly head I would stand The beauty in these rages can only be felt from deep within a soul that truly understands where it is this comes from instead of seeing where my anger lands The apathy that is quick to follow is oft misunderstood it's just me being heartless feeling but with my hands The aloneness is something I carry but still something I should share alone is what I feel yet people are everywhere I do all I can to not let it get me down knowing there is happiness with another in my life waiting for me somewhere I have seen what life might be with someone there to share all the little things about which I do care Being diagnosed was really hard on me and I wasn't diagnosed till just a few years ago but since then life has been almost harder than it ever was before. Things do change though. I have made some drastic changes in my life recently and things are looking up for me. If I can do it so can you!!! I have faith in you and am here if you want to talk about it... I have a daughter, and my husband was manic. It is debilitating and there is joy. It will bring you closer to some and fear stays the distance. At times the helplessness buries you. It took my grandson away, now a year old. It has given understanding to know love deeper than just a superficial glance, to anyone met. love, sadie |
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