It was always a saying that worried me. "Its like riding a bike, once
you fall off, you never forget how!" Ok, it was butchered somewhat, but
you get the idea.

So, when I took possession of my new bike (motorbike, that is) it was
with a mixture of trepidation and excitement. It had been 3 years since
I had had a bike and 3 years since I found that flying through the air
at 90 miles an hour is fun, its the bit at the end that gets you and
smarts a little.

Today, I handed in my 4 wheel drive, gas-guzzling "get out of my way"
jeep and I gave up the heated seats, the cruise control, the awesome
sound system, and in return I got, great air conditioning and a sense of
controlled danger!

There was a children's tv show in the 1970s, in the UK, called Mr Ben.
Mr Ben would go to his local fancy dress store and hire a costume and
when he walked into the changing room, he would be transported to a time
and a place befitting his costume. So, when Mr Ben hired a fireman's
uniform, he would rescue cats from trees and save babies from burning
buildings.

When I walked into the changing room with my bike leathers over my arm,
I entered as a mild mannered Duncan, and came out as Biker-Dunc!!!
Complete with old lady-scaring sneer and the faint smell of mould!
(Reminder to self, must find a rain cloud to wash bike leathers!)

The bike leathers smelt great, and they fitted a lot looser than I
remember. I could actually get my left ankle up on my right knee to put
my boots on! Either I have lost weight, or bike leathers expand in the
loft!

Walking to my bike, I had the feeling that everyone was watching me.
There is an unwritten rule that you dont stall on your ride off. If you
do, then its verrry uncool. Dont want to be sniggered at, the way I
snigger when someone else stalls in front of me!

Key in, ignition on, check for neutral gear (green light is on), choke
armed, (well, on, but "armed" sounds cool) press the starter and the
bike started first time. The sound of a street bike never ceases to give
me goosebumps, when it starts. Harks back to a time when my brother
brought his new bike to our house when I was 7. It was all funky and
shiny new, and had a new invention. An electric start! None of this,
jumping and slipping off the foot starter. You pressed a button and the
bike fired!!!

Astride my trusty steed, I prepared to pull away. Clutch in, increase
the revs, let the clutch out slowly, and yes!! Made it out of the bike
garage and onto the fuel forecourt! Biiiig sigh of releif!

After filling up with fuel, I made my way home. I had two choices,I
could either go around London on the motorway that circles the capital,
or I could go through the centre. Going on the motorway would mean I
would be home in half an hour but it would be monotonous and not much
interest. So, off we go along the road that leads to the City of
London, where all the streets are paved with gold!

The route I would be taking would carry me through the centre of London
and out the other side. If you imagine the motorway that circles London
as a clock, I would be entering the capital at around 3 o'clock riding
along the arms into the centre and then out along the 9 o'clock arm. In
a car, you could expect to do this journey in 3 hours, and the distance
is 30 miles. In a previous life as a bike courier, I have done it in 45
minutes!

The route in is called the A13, it goes through the East End of London,
and through some of the city's greatest sights.

Dagenham was the site of Europe's largest Ford factory at one time,
making panel vans and having the research and development centre located
therein. Now it is a shell of its former self, but still takes up a
huge amount of space on the previously reclaimed marshland. To decrease
its negativity, Ford's have installed two huge windmills to help out
with the lighting bills!! These are on my left as I bimble along.

Just after this comes the scene of my bike accident.

As I used to live very close to Dagenham, I was a frequent user of the
A13. On one particularly windy day, I was called out to do a
collection. I was only doing 90mph in the inside lane, when I came up
behind a lorry. So, I moved into the middle lane, and in preparation
for the inevitable wind buffeting as I overtook the lorry, I slowed down
to about 80mph. To my horror, as I cleared the lorry, I got a
buffetting alright, but it wasnt from my left, as I had expected, it was
from my right. My weight was all in the wrong place and the gust of
wind pushed me towards the barrier near the run off.

I remember saying out loud,
"Oh ****, this is going to sting"
I hit the barrier doing 80mph (I know this because the speedo was stuck
at 80 when the bike was collected)
The bike stopped, but I carried on. Manned flight!!!
"Ah see'd a house-fly, Ah see'd a horse-fly, but ah aint nevva see'd a
Dunc-fly"
Being the supreme athlete that I am not, and being built for comfort,
not speed, I bounced!
Firstly on my left knee, and then I rolled over onto my back and
continued to slide down the road on my back and butt!!
I remember thinking as I slid,
"I do hope that doesnt come down", as the bike bounced over the top of
me and carried on its own journey to the end of the sliproad.

I was pronounced alive, and after a quick trip to the hospital, I got
out of the bed and got myself a taxi and went home.

The only injuries I had suffered were a very sore knee, and some nylon
grazing on my left forearm as the bike jacket had worn through and I had
a friction burn.

Back to today, I sped past the scene and, onto the bright lights!

Its funny, for such a deprived area, the East End of London has some
great touches of humour. The A13 has many traffic light systems and one
of them is right next to a dry ski slope. Because of this, the area has
now been named the Beckton Alps. This is the name of the junction, and
the flyover road system. Legend has it, that the owners of the ski
slope make most of their money from the royalties from using the name of
their business in the map books, mentioned on the radio for traffic
problems and on regional t.v.

As the road curves round, the biggest white elephant in history shows
itself.

The Millennium Dome, frequently referred to simply as The Dome, is a
large dome shaped building on the Greenwich peninsula in south-east
London, England.

The Dome was constructed to hold a major exhibition celebrating the
beginning of the third millennium. This exhibition opened to the public
on January 1, 2000 and ran until December 31, 2000; however the project
and exhibition was the subject of considerable political controversy and
did not attract the number of visitors anticipated in its planning and
attributed costs.

The Millennium Dome is the largest single-roofed structure in the world.
Externally it appears as a large white marquee with 100 m-high yellow
support towers, one for each month of the year, or each hour of the
clock face, representing the role played by Greenwich Mean Time. In plan
view it is circular, 365 m in diameter — one metre for each day of the
year — with scalloped edges.

It was estimated that it was costing £1million a month to keep open, a
claim the Govt say is "grossly over exaggerated"

Its now empty, and no one knows what the hell to do with it!

Keeping the Dome on the left we pass the entrance to the "famed"
Blackwall Tunnel. Its famed because its one of the major "bottlenecks"
for traffic going from North London to South London. Every day between
630am and 9am there is a traffic jam. Without fail, you can be sitting
in the traffic, pondering the meaning of life whilst being 30 feet under
the Thames in a mile long tunnel that is designed to leak!

Just after the Blackwall Tunnel, rivalling London's traditional
financial centre, The Square Mile, Canary Wharf contains the UK's three
tallest buildings: One Canada Square and the HSBC Tower and the
Citigroup Centre joint second tallest.

Canary Wharf is a large business development in London, located on the
Isle of Dogs in the London Borough of Tower Hamlets, centred on the old
West India Docks in the London Docklands.

Canary Wharf's national significance comes from what it replaces: the
former docks were, as recently as 1961, the busiest in the world. They
served huge industrial areas of east London and beyond. Both the docks
and much of that industrial capacity are gone, with employment shifting
to the kind of service industry accommodated in office buildings. In
this respect, Canary Wharf could be cited as the strongest single symbol
of the changed economic geography of the United Kingdom.

Its symbolic importance was bleakly demonstrated on February 9, 1996
when the IRA detonated a bomb at South Quay DLR station, killing two
people, destroying the South Quay Plaza development and damaging several
nearby buildings. The bomb ended a 17-month ceasefire.

Recently, Canary Wharf has gained unwelcome notoriety by banning a
demonstration highlighting poor pay for office cleaners.

Carrying on, through the famous East End regions, Limehouse, Stepney and
onto Whitechapel, we come to my favourite two attractions in all of
London.

In the second half of the 1800s, increased commercial development in the
East End led to a need for a new Thames crossing downstream of London
Bridge (Which an American bought in 1969 for $2.5million, and
transported it to Arizona, one brick at a time).

They couldnt build a fixed bridge because it would cut off the docks, so
a design was submitted to build a bridge that would open in the middle
to allow the tall ships of the day to pass through.
That bridge is now known as "Tower Bridge" Because it is right next to
my favourite attraction ...

Her Majesty's Royal Palace and Fortress The Tower of London, or commonly
known as the Tower of London, or historically known as "The Tower"
I am a history buff and I love the list of figures that have been
imprisoned here.

Henry VI of England was imprisoned in the Tower, where he was murdered
on the 21 of May 1471. Popular legend has accused Richard, Duke of
Gloucester of his murder. Each year on the anniversary of Henry VI's
death, the Provosts of Eton College and King's College, Cambridge, lay
roses and lilies on the altar which now stands where he died.

Margaret of Anjou, wife of the above

Sir William de la Pole. A distant relative of King Henry VIII, he was
incarcerated at the Tower for 37 years (1502-1539) for allegedly
plotting against Henry VII thus becoming the longest serving prisoner
here.

Queen Elizabeth I, imprisoned for two months in 1554 for her alleged
involvement in Wyatt's Rebellion.

John Gerard, S.J. (1564-1637) an English Jesuit priest, operating
undercover during the reign of Queen Elizabeth I, when Catholics were
being persecuted. He was captured and tortured and incarcerated in the
Salt Tower before making a daring escape by rope across the moat.

Sir Walter Raleigh spent thirteen years (1603-1616) imprisoned at the
Tower but was able to live in relative comfort in the Bloody Tower with
his wife and two children. For some of the time he even grew tobacco on
Tower Green, just outside his apartment. Here he wrote The History of
the World.

Guy Fawkes, famous for his part in the Gunpowder Plot, was brought to
the Tower to be interrogated by a council of the King's Ministers.
However, he was not executed here. When he confessed he was sentenced to
be hanged, drawn and quartered in the Old Palace Yard at Westminster,
however he escaped his fate by jumping off the scaffold at the gallows
which in turn broke his neck - killing him.

Lord George Gordon, instigator of the Gordon Riots in 1780, spent 6
months in the Tower while awaiting trial on the charge of High Treason.

Rudolf Hess, deputy leader of the German Nazi Party, the last state
prisoner to be held in the tower, in May 1941.

The Kray Twins, the last prisoners to be held, for a few days in 1952,
for failing to report for national service.

I have visited The Tower on numerous occassions and it never fails to
delight me. I listen to the stories of the Yeoman of the Guard (The
Beefeaters) as they regale the diabolical doings of the Tower's
inhabitants.

But onward! I am now riding along the Embankment of the river Thames.
HMS Belfast on south side of the river. She is a WW2 museum ship that
also has a great coffee shop on the gun deck!

Then we come across one of the three of Cleopatra's needles. The other
two being in Paris and New York. Although they are undoubtable ancient
Egyptian, it is doubtful that Cleo actually saw them. Each is made of
red granite, stands about 21 metres (68 feet) high, weighs about 180
tons and is inscribed with Egyptian hieroglyphs

Following the Victoria embankment, we now come across the defining sight
of London.

The seat of government and possibly the most famous bell in the world.
Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament.

As I round Parliament square, there are the usual array of
demonstrators. It seems that the numbers are dwindling from when I was
a child. There are only now about eight or nine protestors now, although
the number of tents has increased. It would be a great place to pitch a
tent, and one of you could take turns at protesting the other could see
the sights and you would both get no hassle at all, as there are more
police stationed in and around this area of London than anywhere else in
the country!

The Parliament building itself used to a Royal Palace - Westminster
Palace. But no monarch has lived in it since the 1700s.

The Palace contains over 1,100 rooms, the most important of which are
the Chambers of the House of Lords and of the House of Commons. The
Palace also includes committee rooms, libraries, lobbies, dining-rooms,
bars and gymnasia. It is the site of important state ceremonies, most
notably the State Opening of Parliament by the ruling Monarch.

More dodging and weaving through the streets of London gives me the
advantage over the buses, cars and taxis. Although the London taxi
driver must think he is a motorbike at times, as some of the manoeuvres
I do are hairy-arsed enough and I have only two wheels.

Chelsea Bridge is a self-anchored suspension bridge for road and foot
traffic running north-south over the River Thames in London.

On the north bank of the river, the bridge forms the boundary between
the Pimlico area of Westminster to the east and Chelsea to the west; the
Royal Chelsea Hospital lies immediately to the north west. On the south
bank is Nine Elms to the east and Battersea to the west. Battersea Power
Station is immediately to the south east of the bridge, and Battersea
Park to the south west.

Chelsea Bridge, and the famous tea stall now retired to the London
Transport Museum, became a notorious spot in the 1960s as a hangout for
the young tearaway motorcyclists called Rockers drawn to the attractions
the unlimited supply of young women coming out of the Battersea Park Fun
Fair. The Fun Fair has long gone but the bridge remains an attraction
for both motorcyclists and custom car fans who come to regular cruises
and to show off. It is also the namesake of the song "Chelsea Bridge" by
Billy Strayhorn.

This is where I will start my journey on May 7th for the "Hastings Run"
on my bike as I will be one of 20,000 bikers to ride down to the south
coast on a May Day day off.

Here also at Chelsea bridge are a collection of houseboats.

In Europe, some of the finest and costliest examples of houseboats can
be seen along the canals of Amsterdam (in the Netherlands), which even
has houseboat hotels. Houseboats are very expensive nowadays in
Amsterdam because of the limited number of moorings; this expense has
reduced the likelihood that the approximately 2,400 families that live
on the inner waters of Amsterdam will find themselves confronted by new
neighbour boats.

But if you want to talk expensive, then the people who reside along the
north bank of the Thames in and around Chelsea and Kensington can tell
you horror stories! Half a million pounds for an ex River Thames Lighter
converted by the fitting out of the hold & addition of a wooden
superstructure for use as a permanently moored houseboat.

But it does give you a view of the river!!

I have now reached the end of my pleasure ride through London, and now I
make my way past Earl's Court exhibition centre, residence of the
majority of Antipodean visitors to London, along to the King's Road.

During the hippie and punk eras, it was a major centre for the
counterculture, but is now gentrified. It is effectively Chelsea's high
street, and is one of the most fashionable shopping streets in London.

In 1876, the world's first artificial ice rink, the Glaciarium, opened
just off the Kings Road, and later in the year it relocated to a
building on the street.

Kings Road was home in the 1960s to the Chelsea Drugstore (originally a
chemist, that is to say a pharmacy, with a highly stylized
chrome-and-neon soda fountain upstairs, later a public house; more
recently the site became a McDonalds) and in the 1970s to Malcolm
McLaren's boutique SEX.

"Kings Road" is the title of a song by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
from their 1981 album Hard Promises.

Upto Knightsbridge, past my sister's favourite corner store - H.A.Rrods
- and through Hyde Park. As I round the park, I can see my road sign for
the A5 that will ultimately take me home.

Not the fastest way to get home, I admit, but in the sunshine of an
early May day, it certainly was the best way to travel through London.

Wonderful tour - thanks.

Well it's no wonder Princess Leah hasn't caught up to you yet!

Thanx for the preview . I do hope to visit there someday . Sounds like a
nice way to see the various sites . Nothing like a bike tour .

Im really looking forward to biking it from the UK to Greece in a
month's time.

It should be a real experience.

Over the next weeks, I will need to get back in to riding long distances
or my butt and the base of my back will really suffer.

But on the bright side, the further south I go, the warmer it becomes,
so the stops will be very enjoyable.

Looks like a stopover in Amsterdam ... go visit a freind in Germany. My
best friend's parents live in the south of Germany, my best freind lives
in Switzerland, and I have a friend who lives just outside Venice ...

That sounds like a holiday right there.