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| Topic: don't know how to handle this | |
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Edited by
74Drew
on
Tue 03/17/09 08:30 AM
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Friend or not, you at one time were close(17 years). You more than likely spent time with each others families. I agree with Lilth, goto the service and offer your condolensces. One of my biggest fears as an only childand being single is dealing with my parents death alone. You need to go and show your support and pay respects to his DAD, he did nothing wrong to you. i was not invited to the service and have not been informed of where it will be held. if i knew the location of the service i would send a card and flowers. my life does not overlap with his and his family's. none of them have any place in my life. . . . |
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There is no "right" answer. When my mother died, my ex-wife of 18 years showed up, but I suspect that was due to our daughter. Personally, I'm inclined to support Lillith.
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Edited by
lilith401
on
Tue 03/17/09 08:32 AM
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my life does not overlap with his and his family's. none of them have any place in my life. The only thing I can say is that is very, very sad. |
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A friendship for 17yrs.. hmm, you must have known his father, no? Send flowers/plant to the "family". His father never did anything to you. I couldn't have said it better myself. Good luck to ya on this one. |
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Edited by
74Drew
on
Tue 03/17/09 08:37 AM
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my life does not overlap with his and his family's. none of them have any place in my life. The only thing I can say is that is very, very sad. not everyone we meet is destined to have a permanent place in our lives. some stay forever and some don't. that is just the way it is. peoples paths intersect and sometimes merge. but often, they at some point diverge and go their own way. . . . |
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Friend or not, you at one time were close(17 years). You more than likely spent time with each others families. I agree with Lilth, goto the service and offer your condolensces. One of my biggest fears as an only childand being single is dealing with my parents death alone. You need to go and show your support and pay respects to his DAD, he did nothing wrong to you. i was not invited to the service and have not been informed of where it will be held. if i knew the location of the service i would send a card and flowers. my life does not overlap with his and his family's. none of them have any place in my life. . . . Well then if that's the case...do nothing and let it go :) |
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Friend or not, you at one time were close(17 years). You more than likely spent time with each others families. I agree with Lilth, goto the service and offer your condolensces. One of my biggest fears as an only childand being single is dealing with my parents death alone. You need to go and show your support and pay respects to his DAD, he did nothing wrong to you. i was not invited to the service and have not been informed of where it will be held. if i knew the location of the service i would send a card and flowers. my life does not overlap with his and his family's. none of them have any place in my life. . . . pick up the newspaper and see when it is , maybe you missed it already |
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i'll keep an eye out. he just died last night. i googled it but got nothing.
i'm not sure exactly where he lived other than in southern il. . . . |
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as you said this person is no longer your friend because of action he committed. And that you have had to move on. It seem by the things you have said, that you had to go through a grieving time for the loss of this friendship, which was painful.
SO now this person wants you back in their life but he CANT'T have you that was the price he pays for through a good thing away. That's why if you find something good you treasure it. you are not an ass if you say NO to being there for this person It sound like your being wise to me |
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I've been in this situation drew. I sent card, and flowers and had no contact. Its all I could do. It was not about past transgressions, forgiving, or differences. It was about lack of trust, my own personal safety and security and what's right to do. Its hard to be balanced when compassion comes calling isn't it?
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I've been in this situation drew. I sent card, and flowers and had no contact. Its all I could do. It was not about past transgressions, forgiving, or differences. It was about lack of trust, my own personal safety and security and what's right to do. Its hard to be balanced when compassion comes calling isn't it? absolutely. i don't wish for bad things for him and it's a shame that his father has died. but i no longer have any interest in his life. i'm sure that his family is suffering, but they'll have to find their support without me being included. i've already responded to his message. i wrote "Sorry to hear it. He was a decent man. I'm sure you'll miss him." that's all i had to offer. . . . |
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as you said this person is no longer your friend because of action he committed. And that you have had to move on. It seem by the things you have said, that you had to go through a grieving time for the loss of this friendship, which was painful. SO now this person wants you back in their life but he CANT'T have you that was the price he pays for through a good thing away. That's why if you find something good you treasure it. you are not an ass if you say NO to being there for this person It sound like your being wise to me thanks . . . |
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