Your wife sent me a picture text of her and another woman and wanted me to video them

The scary thing is, after having been a police officer, how many of these I have actually had a driver give me while I was working

LETS HERE SOME.....

Officer, I wasn't speeding... I was qualifying.

"You better call for back up, Officer. I was speeding because I don't have a license, this is a stolen car and I killed the owner with the gun I hid under one of the seats and you will find a body in the trunk"

Now when the senior officer arrives tell him "I have no idea why I'm being detained; my license is in my wallet along with the car insurance and registration and these ridiculous notions this cop has about dead bodies are just as ridiculous as the accusation I was speeding!!!"

I was under the influence of the WHO on the radio

QUICKLY TAKE OFF ALL YOUR CLOTH AND TELL THE OFFICER YOUR WERE RUSHING HOME TO GET DRESSED.........

Except that cops are equipped with a microphone now. Have you not watched COPS?

I tried to get here as fast as I could for you officer, am I late?

Believe it or not, driving faster as the tempo of the music increased; too much coffee; forgot the stove on at home (but they were driving out of town, not towards...); hd an upset stomach and needed to get to the bathroom; had a migraine and needed to get home before the meds took full effect = DUI!; had a fight with husband/wife/boss/kids/dog,,,; and random other emergencies.

sorry officer...i have a concussion,cant afford the ambulance bill,so I'm speeding to get to hospital before I puke and pass out!

I actually did this last Sunday but without the speeding since I had the kids with me

I love this!

"I was just clearing a path for you"......

Ok, this actually happened about 15 years ago:

There was a guy who used to just floor it on the straight and there were several cops who tried to catch the guy, but he was just so lucky, that he managed to get away all the time. I mean not outrunning cops, but he was lucky, doing it when there was no cop on duty or by the time the cop was trying to pull him over, he was gone, took off at the first exit he saw, because he knew he'll be in trouble. It was really nothing but luck, some people like that.

This went on for weeks and months, he was like the "ghost rider" among cops, the ultimate price to catch.

One day, a cop who was furious of not being able to apprehend the guy, was out all day long from early morning on to catch him.

So as he was sitting and waiting for hours, the guy finally came. He gets in from the exit and floors the pedal in his V8 mustang, takes off like a rocket, hitting the 100mph speed. The cop was right on him and got the evidence of speeding and pulled him over.

The cop gets out of his car, with a satisfied face, like he won on the lottery and slowly walks up to the guy and says:

- You know..........I've been waiting for you.

The guy is sitting in his car, smiling and shaking his head, feels like he's been defeated finally. He looks out the window, looks at the cop and says:

- I know. ..................I came as fast as I can.

The cop bursts out of laughing hysterically, and the guy is just looking at him smiling,

On the end, the cop - still laughing - gives him a warning ticket and tells him:

-Now listen to me...If I ever catch you again I'm gonna skin you alive..now get the hell outta' here before I arrest you for reckless driving.
The guy never speeded again and got a great respect for the cops. I mean, never speeded again to be considered as reckless driving.

And no, it wasn't me.

Green Day ... it is impossible to go speed limit listening to Green Day

The reason i was speeding, ocifer, is cos i am fkn drunk.