if it got to be an actual relationship and not just mutual liking and flirting, i wouldnt keep it a secret. nor would i make an announcement.

If it's serious and they don't mind I don't see why not. I let people know on my profile that I've met someone and I'm in a relationship now, but I don't say who it is. It's not like I need to tell everyone her name and personal info. Those who need to know will know. I don't see it as a reason for our relationship to fail though... that's just poor excuse. It works, or it doesn't.

I wouldn't purposely do either.

While I don't ever want my (our) private lives in the living and bed rooms broadcast to anyone, and everyone, within hearing distance, neither would I want to hide my guy away like he was some kind of secret.

If it became knowledge by our mutual, playful flirting in the threads, or through private email via friends, that would be acceptable; however, I wouldn't ever create a thread professing my love for a guy.

If it were serious I'd put taken on my profile with a picture of us together. But only if we'd gotten past all the new relationship part and were pretty solid.
Why? New relationships can be a bit fragile in the beginning when you're just getting to know each other. I wouldn't want to hear about how he used to be a serial dater or about some post he wrote in a drunken moment or any of that mess.

I have done it both ways and well to be honest... My friends always will know who I am talking to or who I am meeting. Anyone they don't concern me so therefore I am not going to be shouting it out on forums etc...

I am very open in so many ways then I am very private in others. Who, what, and where I am seeing or doing that is no ones business but mine. I don't tell peoplen in the office what my private life is why would I tell people on a dating site...

I am not one to post pictures in forums etc. I guess I am weird that way... I am not judging others that feel compelled to post pictures of meets etc. I just figure that I wouldn't bring them to the office why would I bring them here?

Excellent points. It is called a "private life" for a reason. Have worked in several position that have put me in the public eye. It is very difficult to have a "private life" in a such situation. Unfortunately had one relationship fall apart because of that. And that was before the internet was even thought of. Just dated myself.

Have heard several stories of that happening. That is basis for this inquiry.

Thanks for sharing.

I would hope that the decision is made in a respectable manner . Its no ones business actually. But I would just make my profile blank and say on it "not looking for anyone I have found her"! These threads and forums are not any better then taking out an ad on the New York Times front page. WHY do such a thing? so others can pry into your life or make un-called for comments and even a few accusations, trying to disperage someone else? I have nothing to hide personally but why subject your self to this in the first place?

Well the New York Times and other newspapers might appreciate the additional revenue.

Have found it curios that on a dating site there seem to be some that don't want others to find anyone. It simply doesn't make any sense. One would think as adults we would encourage and support such connections. Yet for some reason that doesn't seem to happen.

I would keep things open, it's the net so i couldn't really call it a relationship til i was actually spending time with them. Hell, if you feel you might lose someone or have problems letting people know about it on the forum.You have to think. There is more to this site and any site then just the forums.

So very true, I agree with this entirely almost LOL...

I know for me it isn't about insecurity of loosing a relationship. Since before I meet and greet someone there can't be a relationship of exclusivity. To me that can only be done after two people have met and decided to try the dating thing from there.


I have just have had way to many bad experiences with being public about who and what I am doing so now... I don't tell, There was one guy that I was meeting last summer that well someone sent me a photoshopped picture, his head put on nude body shot. After I had posted how I felt about someone posing and sharing nude pictures of themselves on the net. I stated most likely be a deal breaker for me. I had already knew waht this guy looked like with out a shirt on and the picture was of a man way shorter. That is just one dirty trick that was done.

Also flip the hand and let's say two people advertise they are going to meet all the hype and hoopla.. They meet and there is nothing there... What now you come back out on the forums and say what????


Just a sticky situation I chose not to get myself into.

Believe it was Marshall McLuhan in the "Understanding Media: The Extensions of Man," that he said television was bad for the same reason it is good. It rapidly shares information.

Think the same thing is true about the internet. It provides us with the opportunity to meet people would not other wise meet. Unfortunately it means that we also meet people that may not have the same ethics that we have. This often show up in the way people view and deal with internet relationships. Their own and others. JMO