perfect mate ?????????

Is there anyone that is "perfect"????

no.. I mean perfect for you....

I've only met one who was even compatible, and that only sporadically.

I guess "perfect" -- to me -- carries a connotation of someone who is extremely intelligent, extremely creative, someone who is OK with the fact that I cannot and will not be "domesticated," and who supports the fact that I am who I am.

This is a snip from my profile:

As for me, I'm looking for a girl who is non-mainstream -- a creative type, an intellectual, someone for whom "tradition" is a dirty word. Someone who is so herself that other people can't even assimilate it. Because that's the only kind of person who is going to be able to keep me interested.

He makes me smile brings my spirits back up when I am down listens and cares surprises me by the things he says I could go on forever but it would never be long enough to describe how perfect he is to me

a woman that has a kind personality,attractive, and intelligent enough to have an interesting conversation with

someone who loves to try new things has an extremely good sence of humor can be serious but doesnt take to many things seriously

wont be perfect-but pretty dang close to my satisfaction. as much as i would want to be for him! its sometimes better said in action

A man that has what I am missing and vice versa.
It is a balancing act.

Lex,

You pretty much nailed it! You're lucky to have found even a piece of what you want, even sporadically.

To be "perfect" for me... He would have to be someone that I can intelligently discuss random thoughts with into the wee hours of the night, balanced enough creatively to not be a know-it-all stuffed shirt, respect my creativity for what it is, have a wicked sense of humor and can make my toes curl in pleasure by stimulating my mind as well as my body and soul.

Long dark brown hair, tanned, Italian, slim/athletic build, nice figure, cute & sexy, not just physically. Christian, likes kids/ wants kids, but doesn't have any yet, itelligent, has common sense, likes to learn and try new things, likes the finer things in life, but not materialistic, ambitious, has a libra personality, even though I don't believe in horroscopes, I'm just using that term to describe how her personality would be. Something like that I guess.

Yeah, but....the thing is, having had that experience (and it's been on-again off-again for almost 10 years now), I think it actually makes things more difficult for me in the long run.

Because, before I met her, I had a sort of vague concept about what I really wanted. When I met her, the whole thing became completely clear, crystallized, to me, and I immersed myself in that relationship.

Now I see what a rare thing that really is -- and how there may never be a way to find anyone else who I could feel that way about. And that's daunting because I sometimes fall into the mindset of "Why bother looking when I know she's the only one who could ever really work?"

Someone who would vow to love, honor and cherish me all the days of our lives. Not just consider the terms as guidelines.

A person who can challenge me, accept my personal power, not bore me, make me laugh, and one in which I can feel safe and secure in his arms while maintaining my independence and strong willed spirit.

That man would have to be smart, witty, and empathetic. Definitely smarter than me. Oh, and a democrat.

TJN

Lex, there is one big thing I have found over the last several years... what you once thought you wanted and/or needed may not be what you want and/or need now. Your wants and needs evolve. The things I listed in my previous post are what I have come to find that I want now. I'm sure they will continue to evolve and change as I change.

The person I thought I wanted 9 years ago and got, turned out to be the completely wrong person for me. I just had my mind so set in "this is what I want" that I didn't see that it as being so completely wrong. I refused to see it for several years. I'm stubborn that way.

If you spend all your time focused on something so specific you may completely miss out on someone that really is the one for you. Open your eyes and don't refuse to see the forest because of the trees.

Me

Well, I've been through something like the same process, I think. Only, in my case, I started to become more and more aware of what I DIDN'T want, simply by being exposed to nothing that I actually DID want (once the initial delusional phase had passed).

Mine seems to be less "evolving" than "fine-tuning," for lack of a better analogy, although I suppose it could really be both....



Oh, I can totally identify with that. I've done that plenty of times myself -- I think of it as the "trailing but syndrome" -- well, sure, she's on drugs, BUT she's fun to be with, etc.



It's difficult, but I try to maintain only a few absolute and immediate "deal-breakers" -- with the idea that anyone who doesn't trigger one of those could be a potential prospect.

The reality, though, is that I just can't seem to find anyone who interests me at all anymore -- I live in an area where I don't know anyone, and my mobility has been severely hampered since the car crash -- I think it's less about specificity than it is about sheer opportunity....

sounds great!