There are scads of reasons to "Flag" a trait that deserves caution. A list of those flags is called a Red Flag List.

I sometimes do bonehead stuff. Now that I am in a relationship, I decided to read a list of red flags. By understanding why I make mistakes, I gain the power to change my reasoning or to change my actions/reactions. Understanding why other people might make these mistakes improves my ability to communicate in a positive way, and to avoid misunderstandings.
Sounds reasonable?
Now, after reading a comprehensive list of "flag" traits, I wonder whether other Minglers should also expand their "Red Flag List."

http://www.scribd.com/doc/33897/THE-RED-FLAG-LIST-If-your-partner-has-any-of-these-traits-get-ready-to-run-for-your-life

What do you think?

i think.................if youi notice a 'flag' pop out at you and wave its red warning of doubt....


discuss it openly with your partner. and this will hopefully avoid any misunderstandings..(or at least clarify quickly)

There was a lot of red flags in that article. Some of those I would consider deal breakers, not red flags.

I still just think we should go with our gut and use common sense. What may be off putting to one person, is not at all for another. Obviously we shouldn't ignore red flags simply because we want so much to be in a relationship, but we also can't let the constant analyzing prevent us from enjoying life and being open to new people and new ideas.

I like that you are interested in improving your communication skills, and not just forcing preconceived notions about communication on those around you. It absolutely irks me when people preach communication, yet are unable to actually communicate unless it's done "their way".

That's a long list! I could only make it about halfway.
Did I miss the punchline?

I think that was pretty interesting,..not only for my own perspective of potential mates,.but I found some of my own shortcomings on that list as well,..

tx for that,..

that's deep

I think for the most part its a good list. Unfortunately, it isn't common sense for some people. Those that didn't have a good family background may find the list enlightening.

The list is QUITE LENGTHY, as s1owhand pointed out.
Did that bother me?
Maybe it did...but that minor irritation was overcome by a bigger "pinch" when I began to see myself in some of those red flags! That's when I decided to view the entire list...to check myself out, and also because I am stubborn.

There are three drawbacks (from my perspective)to that list.
1. For some of the flags, there isn't an explanation.
2. There are several numbers in the sequence without any item...and the blank area caused me to wonder, "What the hell was there? Why was it pulled? Why wasn't the numbering condensed so that I wouldn't wonder about this nonsense?"
3. Now that I have a "heads up!" about some things, there isn't a problem with the flagged factor because I know that I can handle this stuff (in myself or others) without it blind-siding me.

tanyaann:

Yes, indeed. My family background showed up as a negative...and that isn't the only "Fix it!" area that I need to be aware of.

I went and read 90% of those. And you know what? its all geared for red flags about men and commitment. go figure.. And its always the things MEN do wrong. Just when is it going to stop and people realize MEN are not totally at fault and women have RED FLAGS TOO.....crap as always .


And any man that meets those on that list is a loser period.... I couldn't find one that I even came close to.. So if any man reads that and can make a comparison? You do need to check on your skills.

Dog gone that was quite the list...and while I agree with most, think a few are definitively deal breakers. I guess my next question would be is a person allowed to breathe with out scarring people into running?

Posts about red flags are a red flag

I think I love you....... in a totally non-stalking mingle mind appreciation kind of way. You are the master of one liner pats...

check

check

uh huh

omg check

yes check

holy crap check

check check check!!!

It wasn't geared completely towards men......you must not have read at the top of the page that it pertained to men and women alike.

Red flags are stupid for the most part I think, some are necessary but then you get the person that has somewhere around 3 dozen or so different red flags...if you click, you click...if not, move on. No one is painted with a red flag.

A lot of good points, some of them are the same thing just restated a bit differently.

Are red flags some kind of a Penalty Flag for a sport?
If you get too many, are you out of the game??

Some of these are decent things to watch out for. However, I do not agree with 18,91,106,107,115,and 117.

So your not supposed to get upset when a partner talks about past sexual things they did relationships with former exs?

Apparently, you gotta have friends of the opposite sex?

I am supposed to be friends with some of my ex's?

I am suppose to let her talk to some of my ex's?

This one really got me. If you want to get married, and you haven't lived with them yet that is bad?


Dang, I guess I am really flawed. To all the women out there, I have six red flags! Watch out....I guess.

That guitar is a red flag!!!!!!!!!! So's the lack of a belt.