Babchi dahling, thank you for stopping by.

Well, according to my nemesis Farmer Crotchbuff, I am but an insignificant drop of mucus in the vast endless ocean of puke.

He has such a magical way with words. You wouldn't know it by just looking at him though... He has a unsettling obsession with ostriches and emoos, and spends his free time either standing on one leg or with his head buried in the sand. Both great techniques for deep meditation. He is indeed an enlightened man... when he's not on the booze of course, which is not that often ever since his sister moved out of the ranch accusing him of exposing himself to her and her friends. But in his defense, part of the ancient oriental secrets of enlightenment is to walk in a meditative state fully nude. It can be taken the wrong way I suppose.

And also, I know for a fact that he wouldn't have any desire to have sex with his own sister as he is not into females, as much as he is into the farm animals and other farm boys.

I can't wait for you to meet him. He should be here any moment now.