I'm just looking for a little relationship advice because I have a small issue that I'm not completely sure how to handle. Please read all before you judge me.

I have been dating a really cool girl for a little while and everythings good except one thing. She's waiting until marriage for sex. I completely respect her for this, but it's not my thing. I've had sex before and I see myself as a very sexual person. I've been honest to her about most things but I haven't been able to talk to her about this. She seems very much like a people pleaser and I feel that if I bring this up it will seem as if I'm pressuring her into something she doesn't want to do. At the same time, I feel like it will be shallow to end it just because she won't have sex with me. I haven't had sex since we've been dating and it's been getting very difficult. Recently I met a girl who is very sexual and I like talking to her but I feel like this will lead to something sexual between us.

So here's where I'm unsure. Do I end it with the first girl and just have fun with the second girl and possibly others, stick with the first girl and try to talk to her about it, or stick with the first girl and just have some NSA fun with the second girl without telling the first girl?

I'm open to any and all advice.

Well, please dono't mind but I read the sexual word alot in your post. Well, to me, it seems your priorty is sex rather than getting a true love. sex can wait, one shouldn't miss the true love. Now if you define yourself as a sexual person, you must choose what is bothering you most...thats sex.

Don't cheat on her or any girl. It's bad karma, shows lack of integrity, and you may start a pattern you can't break if you rationalize cheating.

I don't have an easy answer with the remaining two options. I am a sexual person too and I could not be with someone unless we had sex. As important as all other attributes are in a relationship, so is sexual compatibility.

If, in the extreme example, you guys fell in love and got married, what would happen if you found yourself less than satisfied with your sexual relationship? It's very rare (very rare) that it would improve. Part of great sex is exploring your own body. I doubt she is comfortable with that now, and it may take years before she is willing to open up after marriage.

It's wonderful that you are respecting her wishes not to pressure her. Do not hurt her! Support her even if that means letting her go.

I agree with karma thing. We must avoid bad karma by speech, bad karma by thought, bad karma by action..
I know its tough.

umm be honest. with yourself and your friends.

and are u in a commited relationships with this first girl? shes waiting for marriage..meaning is that where you see yourself in the next few years?

good of u not to pressure her though, it does actually show that you truly care.

I've never discussed with the first girl what we are. She's really indecisive and innocent so i have trouble bringing up topics like that. i'm not sure why. She's definitely marriage material though. I'm just not sure if see myself falling in love with her any time soon. and she sees marriage as a couple years down the road. I don't know if i can wait that long.

you're young and there are many women out there. think about the girl you are dating. she deserves someone who would assume the same level of commitment that she has. you have already stated that you aren't willing to maintain a sex free relationship. you should let her go and find someone else and let her do the same.

i think you know, what you have to do now.
it will help both of you.

I'm thinking it's unrealistic for a person to hold off till marriage before having sex in todays society. In the past, with courting and brothels, this socialogical behavior was encouraged in women and acceptible to suiters. In todays society, it's dangerous to go to a prostitute when young men's girlfriends aren't engaging in sex. contraceptives, among other regulatory medicine, make sex an activity that women can participate in, with a sense of a security that it won't ruin their lives. This mentality is from a preprogressive era. 1800s

Sex and Sexuality are a shallow form of intimacy, but a form of intimacy none-the-less. To deprive yourself of this form of intimacy because this first girl chooses ignorance in the matter, is insane to me. At the same time, I wouldn't consider too much from this second chick, as far as forming a serious relationship. It seems to me you're suffering from one girl being too reluctant, and the other being too forecoming.

If only you could like, meld them together... :D

My advice is to get rid of the first, have fun with second one. Then look for someone more natural in matters of intimacy. perhaps the second one is, but that's not the impression I gathered.


EDIT: spelling

I'm guessing that although you feel she's "marriage material", she's not giving you the feeling that she's worth the wait. Not having sex isn't the end of the world, although it may feel like it.

If you can't talk about important issues like this with her, then maybe you should ask yourself why you are with this person.

You say you've been dating this girl for a "little while"... how long is that? Days, weeks, months? I'm guessing you probably knew this about her when you started dating, since you've obviously been holding out for her so far.

What's the longest you've ever waited for it since you started having it? Did you know that it gets easier to deal with over time? Maybe she could give you some kind of alternative to not make it so difficult for you if she knows what you're going through. You won't know if you don't say anything.

You don't have to answer these unless you want to, but they are things you might want to think about.

If you're already talking with someone else, and you already know that girl is sexual, you're obviously willing to throw away whatever it is you have just to get some cheap action on the side. If that's the case, why waste the good girl's time having her think you're willing to wait?

Here's my 2 cents, for what it's worth. If you can't be honest with her (and yourself), then what's the point? And sometimes, timing is everything in a relationship. She may be "marriage material" but if you're not ready for that type of commitment at this point in your life, then the timing is off for the both of you and you're doing a disservice to the both of you. It may hurt the both of you somewhat now, but think of how much it will hurt the both of you when she finds out you're cheating

Save the virgin?, for marriage and go play with the bad girl.
Being young, dumb and full of cm, ya' gotta' get relief from somewhere. You could explode if you wait too long.

Thanks for all the advice. It really helped. I'm going to be friends with the first girl for now and maybe down the road it will go on to something but I'm young and I'm just going to have fun right now.

It seems you are being very considerate, in that you are just not being selfish or impulsive. That is commendable.

If sex is important to you, there is nothing wrong with that. She is being honest with you, and you with her. that is always the best course of action. As well, you are young. You are only young once.

How about you just keep it in your pants for awhile...you won't die!