1. Women are innately self-conscious. This is not a choice; it's a
genderwide condition. On a bad day, I look in the mirror and see my
ten-pound-heavier alter ego. Her name is Bertha. On a really bad day,
Bertha sees her two-hundred-pound-heavier alter ego. Her name is Brian
Dennehy.

2. Women produce half the world's food but own only 1 percent of its
farmland. So we're fine with you picking up the tab. And after about
three thousand dinners at Nobu, we should be even.

3. Women like porn, too. We just hate it when you hide the porn.

4. Women remember everything . Don't believe me? Ask your girlfriend
where you met. She won't tell you it was at a party. She'll say it was a
Thursday, she had just come from dinner, where she ate a veggie burger,
and she was wearing her friend Cathy's pink top, which was big on her
because Cathy is a big girl. You were wearing a blue button-down,
drinking a Jack and Coke with two straws, and talking to Bill, that
mutual friend. She waved and you gave her the "what's up" nod. This
still infuriates her. ("How could you give me the nod?")

5. An eyelash curler, while mean and ferocious looking, is not a weapon.

6. No matter how much your woman loves you, there are going to be three
to seven days each month when she wants you dead. (She may even quietly
fantasize about turning her eyelash curler against you.) You have two
options: Tie yourself to a tree and wait out the storm, or stock up at
Tiffany's, toss a blue box or two into the wind, and hope for the best.
We recommend the latter. (The key chain doesn't count.)

7. We think it's weird when you watch sports and concentrate to help
your team.

8. "Hey, Melissa, who's the boss?" Not a good pickup line. "Hey, Phoebe,
where'd you park your broomstick?" Not a good pickup line. "Hey, Alyssa,
you look 250 pounds lighter than Brian Dennehy in that dress."
Surprisingly good pickup line.

9. Women hear better than men. That's before you even factor in
listening skills and attention spans. Come to think of it, I should have
listed this one first because I'm sure I've lost you by now.

10. You may be surprised to know that women were responsible for
inventing all of the following: the circular saw, the signal flare, the
space suit, the bulletproof vest, and the windshield wiper. You're
welcome.

We so rock!

Yep....we sure do!!!

Cheers for the Ladies!!!!!!

yup that's a good part of it all anyway !!!

Who says us men have short attention.............hmm......what was the
question again?

Hope ya dont mind if I copy this one it is great Need to stick it in
a few faces now and then to get a few idiots off their high horses .
thanx

LOL at all of you

Great one, sending it to a girlfriend right now.

Does my ass make my ass look fat?

bulletproof vest?....theres a story there...

SCOTTY I BET YOU HAVE A NICE ASS...

DAVINCI...BOND DOESNT USE A BULLET PROOF VEST....lol

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

The bullet proof vest was invented for men for those 3-7 days when we
want to kill you.....ONE just never knows....Some of us have a good
aim!!!!!!!!!

Good one girl lol

Yeah invented the Bulletproof vest just in case on those 3-7 days wel
could say opps I'm sorrrrrrrrry on the 8th day!

Whoaaaaaaaaaaa for the Ladies

Awesome Post Jane

women are so cool...and when they are cold..
.well you know what happens