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| Topic: When the ex wants you back... | |
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My ex wanted me back and I gave him a shot right after it didn't work out he died in his sleep. I regret it but there was nothing that I could do to make him happy with himself.
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Dating: X amount of dollars
Wedding/Marriage: X amount of a kabillion dollars Kids: X amount of a kazillion dollars & more when they return home Divorce: X amount of a megazillion dollars & a few pieces of property Knowing in your soul you did the right thing: PRICELESS |
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Dating: X amount of dollars Wedding/Marriage: X amount of a kabillion dollars Kids: X amount of a kazillion dollars & more when they return home Divorce: X amount of a megazillion dollars & a few pieces of property Knowing in your soul you did the right thing: PRICELESS 
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Congratulations. I bet that felt really good....
But treat her exactly as you did before, and keep your boundaries up and your resolve firm. |
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My biggest concern right now is that someday when one of the kids brings up the subject of us being a family again, She'd say " Well I tried but your dad said no."
She's not vindictive, But she doesn't think before she speaks. My kids have been through enough. They don't need to wrestle with that. |
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Kids aren't dumb, they know how things REALLYare/were.
Talk to them upfront, tell them "mom asked/mentioned....just don't think it would work for __________ reasons. any comments you guys want to make? I was upfont with mine & he respected me for it. He was in grade school, when I left. |
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Kids aren't dumb, they know how things REALLYare/were. Talk to them upfront, tell them "mom asked/mentioned....just don't think it would work for __________ reasons. any comments you guys want to make? I was upfont with mine & he respected me for it. He was in grade school, when I left. Sage, As always, well said. I know my kids are sharp and I encourage open conversation. I've just seen them cry too many times and I hope old wounds don't reopen. |
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Then don't tell them their mother asked.
Just bring up the topic in general and tell them it's not going to happen. |
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Then don't tell them their mother asked. Just bring up the topic in general and tell them it's not going to happen. I have no intention of telling them. My fear is that she will. |
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Then don't tell them their mother asked. Just bring up the topic in general and tell them it's not going to happen. I have no intention of telling them. My fear is that she will. You are missing Sage's point entirely. All kids fantasize about their mommy and daddy getting back together at some point. Having this conversation, [without saying mommy asked for us to get back together but I said no....] this is a useful and appropriate conversation to have. |
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Then don't tell them their mother asked. Just bring up the topic in general and tell them it's not going to happen. I have no intention of telling them. My fear is that she will. You are missing Sage's point entirely. All kids fantasize about their mommy and daddy getting back together at some point. Having this conversation, [without saying mommy asked for us to get back together but I said no....] this is a useful and appropriate conversation to have. We've had that conversation. My point is that even though we've had it and they're basically understanding of the whole thing. I don't want their mother planting that seed in them for the sake of making me the villain. And yes, I know my kids won't think of me as a villain, I just want that book closed for them. |
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^
^ ^ What she said. I think you should cover the topic, BEFORE mom can put her spin on it. Let's you do damage control, BEFORE the damage is done. |
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It's really nice you want that for your kids. But as you well know, parenting is PROACTIVE.
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I appreciate the thought, but I'm just going to have to talk to her and insist that the conversation stays between us. It's just a shame that I have to explain it to her.
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 Nevermind. |
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Lilith,
I'm not a moron and I'm not thick. I understand yours and Sages point, but I have other feelings on the subject. I thought I'd explained it well enough. was not necessary. It's a shame that every conversation we've had seems to end this way. |
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Really? I post the
with each conversation? Wow....I did not know that. Point is, you're going to do what you're going to do. If you don't want to take other parent's opinions... don't bring it up. Or dismiss them so quickly. Personally, if I post a thread I read all the comments and actually think about them. Timely.... If my mind is already made up, I keep my mouth shut. But I guess that's just me. |
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Sometimes it's best to leave the past in the past ditto |
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