Honesty is the best policy. If people weren't so hung up about getting a relationship going right away, maybe folks could have some fun and a relationship might develop. All this relationship pressure and talk can be a real turn off.
Why do people need to have all these expectations and just go sour when their unrealistic expectations are not met?

Well... as far as this online dating stuff goes...it DOES say what we're looking for in our profiles, doesn't it? There IS the little pull-down menu says what you're looking for, whether it's "friendship", "relationship", or "casual encounter", right? It couldn't be any more simple than that, could it?

Honesty IS the best policy. But it has to be enacted from the start, NOT when it's most convenient for one party. The boundaries need to be set from the beginning and not some weeks or months down the road.

EGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGS actly

Exactly. I wish more guys were just more honest about what they want.

The honesty thing can be said for both halves of the gender train really, as you're just deluding yourself otherwise.

Sometimes I think a lot of people dont really know what they want. They know they want to be happy and fulfilled but they dont know specifically how they want to go about obtaining that goal. This applies to BOTH genders and I am not singling anyone out as the bad guy. Its a pervasive condition amongst humans.

why you gotta be in a relationship to be happy what is wrong with that...

You dont. Being single is probably one of the most empowering situations one can place themselves in.

I wasn't implying otherwise.

Me neither. I was simply clarifying my point.

I honestly think that people overlook the good things about being single!! I myself think it is GREAT being single and just finding a "friend" to hang out with and go to dinner or to the movies with. Now by this I do not mean a FWB or anything I just simply mean a friend.
I simply want to find my "best friend" and then who knows where it will go from there! I think people get into a big rush and try to push the relationship to quickly and try to figure out where its going to end up. Why do you have to try to plan your future with someone on the first or second date? Just have fun and let things work out naturally. If it goes somewhere great, if not..you have a friend!!!

I always stress the "friends first" aspect. I believe the old saying "only fools rush in" is so true.

It doesn't really have much to do with "rushing" into anything, really. Some people out there may have an overall goal for various things, but it doesn't necessarily mean they're wanting to rush into anything.

It has more to do with setting and establishing guidelines from the start. If all you're looking for is a "friend" or anything else, that's fine- just point out your intentions from the beginning, so there's no confusion or mixed signals. After all, it's all about communication, isn't it?

As for me, I'm not looking for anything, period. In fact, I personally think there should be an option in that Mingle what-am-looking-for pull-down menu for "not looking for anyone", as I don't expect to get into anything of any significance.

I don't think not wanting marriage or living together makes me soured or bitter. I think we all want/need different things at different times in our lives.

I would like to find someone to be close to. That means becoming friends first and foremost. If we become intimate that would be a result of becoming so close and would take time. I have been guilty of rushing into things in the past. But we all grow and hopefully learn from our past mistakes. All you can do is move forward. I don't think that makes me a bitter person.

Ruth, knowing what you want does not make you sour or bitter. It makes you smart and if you are honest about it in the beginning that is a good thing.

life isnt short. its long. if life is short its bc people make it short

80 years is long? That is a typical human life expectancy.

Totally understandable

i think its long.