This year is the first time since I was in high school that I have a date for V-day... and I'm not looking forward to it at all because it's not the guy I want to be going out with. I'm guessing I need to cancel my date because of this, but I feel obligated to follow through with it because I said I would.

The guy I wish it was wants to slow things down and be friends for now... for who knows how long.

How am I supposed to just keep everything in and not kiss him or hold his hand like I want to? How do I give him the space he needs without losing interest in him while we're just friends?

What would you do in this situation... or what would you suggest to make it easier?

Oh, I should mention also that the guy I have the date with also wants to be friends first.

Talk to him. Tell everything you feel.

feel lucky ... the only date i have for valentines day is with the grocery store i work at.



that and maybe a lager.
or tequila.


im not exactly sure what im writing right now.

If youre not looking forward and you dont really want to go then dont waste his time or yours.

yep, so that should end this thread....jk

Go through another valentines day alone...and drink alot of booze...works for me

Cancel your date. It's not fair to the guy that you are not really interested in.

I did! Which is why I'm confused. We just had a coffee date and explained to each other all that we're dealing with right now and we're still as unresolved as we were before. He likes me a lot, too... but he doesn't want anything to be messed up, so he wants to go at a snail's pace.
Meanwhile I'm 34, at full throttle of womanhood and someone's telling me to put on the brakes. HOW?

I think Valentine's Day is highly overrated anyway. But, nobody asked me so I'll shut up now.

Be honest...with both.

lol. It is, I posted another thread about that. I don't observe it, but I'm sure my date does. Which is why it seems like a lot of pressure or something, even though he said 'friends first'. He seems like he's the type of guy that means it, too.

First off, there is no reverting to "friends" if you've been in a relationship, as the both of you will eventually become neither at some point. You're better off just calling things off all together and movin' on to someone else.

Second off, V-Day stinks. It's nothing more than corporate marketing aimed at the incredibly-stupid... er... incredibly-romantic.

sometimes people want to put on the brakes because, even though he may have been hurt and he may think he's ready to move on, deep down part of him cannot, and he doesnt want to rush things with you, because wouldnt you be hurt if you rushed into things with him and he couldnt go through with anything with you because of the fact that he couldnt put his whole heart into it? i know i would....

I think too many people feel that chemistry with someone means that you are going to fall in love or you are in love...............but usually most love that is genuine starts with friendship and then if you are compatible then you move to the next level...........I will not date someone ever again just on chemistry alone I now know its not a prerequiste for a true relationship to arise..........Just take your time with the person and get to know him you might be suprised.............By the way if your ex said you should be friends then you should think of that.............some men usually end relationships on holidays that they are suppose to show COMMITTMENT...............food for thought..................

We haven't been in a 'relationship'... he's not an ex... we've only talked for 2 months and dated for a month of that... we've barely kissed and talked a lot.
He's never taken breaks in between seeing people and then his relationships fail for one reason or another so he doesn't want to rush into anything.
We really click, have lots in common, understand each other well, are pretty much on the same intellectual level...

I just don't know how I'm supposed to contain my feelings for him when all I want to do is share everything with him and he wants me to just be his friend. I guess I know what it's like to be a guy now, huh?

Is it out of bounds for you to invite your friend to something that you wish he'd invite you to go to? Take charge of your romance; wear the pants; disguise the outing until he gets pasted with the fact that you made it a Valentine gift to yourself because he wouldn't do it.

You want happiness: be happy. Make it happen. If you wait on others you will get older and end up feeling not too wise.

Go for it. It's your life.

If your date knows you feel obligated, it wont be a pleasent experience for either one of you. A pity date is just that, and unrequited love is overrated and usually felt most strongly in families deficient in the love department. The good news is you can fill that love, with or without a significant other. Love yourself, be true to yourself, let your yes mean yes and no mean no.

I think it is too.

For the OP: As long as the guy you are going out with knows that it is friends only then you should be good to go.

Sometimes slow,,,means their not sure about how they feel about you. And sometimes its their way of letting you know your not their one..?
I wish you the best...
And like has been mentioned.
Talking is always the key to everything.
But just remember we ALL have feelings..The one you don't really want to go out with..Please DON'T, if you will not be you, or showing your happy..
Its NOT a good experience for either of you.