Topic: Advice please
no photo
Fri 02/06/09 12:44 PM

Sounds a little pety to me......

Often women will play the control game..... I want to control this relationship so i will hide my true feelings........ creates an atmosphere of mistrust and leads to being with someone you dont really know. Then women will ask next why dont men have enough confidence.......
Obviously he liked you, wouldnt hurt to stroke his ego a little and get what your looking for in return!

I know confidence is sexy, but why when you pursue a woman and they dont return the favor often enough its unattractive. i think its cause they are seeking control and its a big turn off. When i find a woman i like i let them know, but when they play the game ill except all our attention but not return the favor its just a mind game and guys will walk away from a woman like that.


It doesn't sound like she's been out with him more than once. If I ask someone out, I'm going to have an idea of what to do. It should be the same other way.

justme659's photo
Fri 02/06/09 12:44 PM

better yet... call him at 7 and ask him why the hell he stood you up laugh


rofl Please I dont need that kind of encouragement, I can be that bad on my own. rofl

justme659's photo
Fri 02/06/09 12:45 PM

Call him at 8 and tell him you are getting laid


rofl rofl rofl rofl

Redshirt's photo
Fri 02/06/09 01:18 PM
Me thinks he sounds like a dunce. After telling him about all the homework it would have been more polite to say, "Would you be open to taking a study break over dinner?" That would show awareness to you busy weekend and give you the option to take some time for R&R. IMO one should have a rough plan when asking someone out.

Jess642's photo
Fri 02/06/09 01:19 PM
yawn Can you say..." You do all the work, woman, I think I am above it."

And can you also say..." I have self esteem issues... I think I am sh*t hot, so chase me, woman".....?


The guy is a bit of a wanker...in my world.

Dan99's photo
Fri 02/06/09 01:21 PM
Or maybe he really likes you and was just really nervous.

Still, call him at 9 and tell him you are exhausted and are smoking a cigarette

no photo
Fri 02/06/09 01:21 PM
Look i was making a point thats all.... I dont know the situation..... I was only saying communicate..... Hey MR.blank i kinda like you but i think if you would like to date me then you need to come up with some plans and i will see if i can go????? all the nuances i have no idea, but the guy was trying, maybe just a little self conscious????? Maybe you didnt explain your situation clearly enough????? Honestly when i read your comment it sounded as if okay this guy is not so cool but i wont tell him. I will just keep talking to him ans consider my options until i find what i want???? Look its hard to get your point across through comments on a blog..... I was only stating my experience and trying to enlighten you on what he MAY have been thinking.

justme659's photo
Fri 02/06/09 01:22 PM

Me thinks he sounds like a dunce. After telling him about all the homework it would have been more polite to say, "Would you be open to taking a study break over dinner?" That would show awareness to you busy weekend and give you the option to take some time for R&R. IMO one should have a rough plan when asking someone out.


Thank you for your opinion, I agree. I was begining to think that those ideas were passe.

justme659's photo
Fri 02/06/09 01:25 PM

Look i was making a point thats all.... I dont know the situation..... I was only saying communicate..... Hey MR.blank i kinda like you but i think if you would like to date me then you need to come up with some plans and i will see if i can go????? all the nuances i have no idea, but the guy was trying, maybe just a little self conscious????? Maybe you didnt explain your situation clearly enough????? Honestly when i read your comment it sounded as if okay this guy is not so cool but i wont tell him. I will just keep talking to him ans consider my options until i find what i want???? Look its hard to get your point across through comments on a blog..... I was only stating my experience and trying to enlighten you on what he MAY have been thinking.


Thank you, I appreaciate any and all input.

Redshirt's photo
Fri 02/06/09 01:30 PM


Me thinks he sounds like a dunce. After telling him about all the homework it would have been more polite to say, "Would you be open to taking a study break over dinner?" That would show awareness to you busy weekend and give you the option to take some time for R&R. IMO one should have a rough plan when asking someone out.


Thank you for your opinion, I agree. I was begining to think that those ideas were passe.


Not so much passe as politeness and manners seem to be lacking in today's society. Which is very unfortunate.

no photo
Fri 02/06/09 01:31 PM


Sounds a little pety to me......

Often women will play the control game..... I want to control this relationship so i will hide my true feelings........ creates an atmosphere of mistrust and leads to being with someone you dont really know. Then women will ask next why dont men have enough confidence.......
Obviously he liked you, wouldnt hurt to stroke his ego a little and get what your looking for in return!

I know confidence is sexy, but why when you pursue a woman and they dont return the favor often enough its unattractive. i think its cause they are seeking control and its a big turn off. When i find a woman i like i let them know, but when they play the game ill except all our attention but not return the favor its just a mind game and guys will walk away from a woman like that.


It doesn't sound like she's been out with him more than once. If I ask someone out, I'm going to have an idea of what to do. It should be the same other way.



WOW high expectations!!!!! I wonder do women really expect men to make no mistakes? To not be nervous? Well you just said something i think is stupid so i dont like you now. sounds a little absurd to me???? Give the guy a break at least he called and said hey i like you, that gets no credit????? Just seems very minor if you ask me!

no photo
Fri 02/06/09 01:33 PM



Sounds a little pety to me......

Often women will play the control game..... I want to control this relationship so i will hide my true feelings........ creates an atmosphere of mistrust and leads to being with someone you dont really know. Then women will ask next why dont men have enough confidence.......
Obviously he liked you, wouldnt hurt to stroke his ego a little and get what your looking for in return!

I know confidence is sexy, but why when you pursue a woman and they dont return the favor often enough its unattractive. i think its cause they are seeking control and its a big turn off. When i find a woman i like i let them know, but when they play the game ill except all our attention but not return the favor its just a mind game and guys will walk away from a woman like that.


It doesn't sound like she's been out with him more than once. If I ask someone out, I'm going to have an idea of what to do. It should be the same other way.



WOW high expectations!!!!! I wonder do women really expect men to make no mistakes? To not be nervous? Well you just said something i think is stupid so i dont like you now. sounds a little absurd to me???? Give the guy a break at least he called and said hey i like you, that gets no credit????? Just seems very minor if you ask me!


Unexpectedly....I agree with you.....laugh It's possible he was just afraid to get shot down and wanted you to say you'd like to do something with him. Maybe give the guy a chance and see if the pattern continues? I'd say one more date ought to tell ya! Have fun whatever you do!!!

Jess642's photo
Fri 02/06/09 01:33 PM



Sounds a little pety to me......

Often women will play the control game..... I want to control this relationship so i will hide my true feelings........ creates an atmosphere of mistrust and leads to being with someone you dont really know. Then women will ask next why dont men have enough confidence.......
Obviously he liked you, wouldnt hurt to stroke his ego a little and get what your looking for in return!

I know confidence is sexy, but why when you pursue a woman and they dont return the favor often enough its unattractive. i think its cause they are seeking control and its a big turn off. When i find a woman i like i let them know, but when they play the game ill except all our attention but not return the favor its just a mind game and guys will walk away from a woman like that.


It doesn't sound like she's been out with him more than once. If I ask someone out, I'm going to have an idea of what to do. It should be the same other way.



WOW high expectations!!!!! I wonder do women really expect men to make no mistakes? To not be nervous? Well you just said something i think is stupid so i dont like you now. sounds a little absurd to me???? Give the guy a break at least he called and said hey i like you, that gets no credit????? Just seems very minor if you ask me!



And of course you have never ever had a woman not listen to your response when she asks a question.... and then asks the same question two more times... and STILL doesn't listen to your responses... and of course YOU made heaps of allowances for her downright arrogant behaviour... and NEVER EVER wondered what she may have been doing, and asked others....huh?

Dan99's photo
Fri 02/06/09 01:34 PM



Sounds a little pety to me......

Often women will play the control game..... I want to control this relationship so i will hide my true feelings........ creates an atmosphere of mistrust and leads to being with someone you dont really know. Then women will ask next why dont men have enough confidence.......
Obviously he liked you, wouldnt hurt to stroke his ego a little and get what your looking for in return!

I know confidence is sexy, but why when you pursue a woman and they dont return the favor often enough its unattractive. i think its cause they are seeking control and its a big turn off. When i find a woman i like i let them know, but when they play the game ill except all our attention but not return the favor its just a mind game and guys will walk away from a woman like that.


It doesn't sound like she's been out with him more than once. If I ask someone out, I'm going to have an idea of what to do. It should be the same other way.



WOW high expectations!!!!! I wonder do women really expect men to make no mistakes? To not be nervous? Well you just said something i think is stupid so i dont like you now. sounds a little absurd to me???? Give the guy a break at least he called and said hey i like you, that gets no credit????? Just seems very minor if you ask me!


Maybe she likes her men confident and to beable to make decisions.


justme659's photo
Fri 02/06/09 01:39 PM


Maybe she likes her men confident and to beable to make decisions.





Now here is some insight from a person that only knows me from the forums. Thank you.


P.S. Other folks posting, Lets keep this civil please.

no photo
Fri 02/06/09 01:40 PM



Sounds a little pety to me......

Often women will play the control game..... I want to control this relationship so i will hide my true feelings........ creates an atmosphere of mistrust and leads to being with someone you dont really know. Then women will ask next why dont men have enough confidence.......
Obviously he liked you, wouldnt hurt to stroke his ego a little and get what your looking for in return!

I know confidence is sexy, but why when you pursue a woman and they dont return the favor often enough its unattractive. i think its cause they are seeking control and its a big turn off. When i find a woman i like i let them know, but when they play the game ill except all our attention but not return the favor its just a mind game and guys will walk away from a woman like that.


It doesn't sound like she's been out with him more than once. If I ask someone out, I'm going to have an idea of what to do. It should be the same other way.



WOW high expectations!!!!! I wonder do women really expect men to make no mistakes? To not be nervous? Well you just said something i think is stupid so i dont like you now. sounds a little absurd to me???? Give the guy a break at least he called and said hey i like you, that gets no credit????? Just seems very minor if you ask me!


Expecting someone who has asked me out to have at least a little idea of something to do is high expectations?

Jess642's photo
Fri 02/06/09 01:41 PM
I am being civil... I find this tip toe hand wringing crap, exhausting....

Sometimes a blunt direct response shows exactly where the posters are at in their world.... and you can get a sense of the OP also... by whom they respond to, and who they don't...:wink: noway

no photo
Fri 02/06/09 01:42 PM




Sounds a little pety to me......

Often women will play the control game..... I want to control this relationship so i will hide my true feelings........ creates an atmosphere of mistrust and leads to being with someone you dont really know. Then women will ask next why dont men have enough confidence.......
Obviously he liked you, wouldnt hurt to stroke his ego a little and get what your looking for in return!

I know confidence is sexy, but why when you pursue a woman and they dont return the favor often enough its unattractive. i think its cause they are seeking control and its a big turn off. When i find a woman i like i let them know, but when they play the game ill except all our attention but not return the favor its just a mind game and guys will walk away from a woman like that.


It doesn't sound like she's been out with him more than once. If I ask someone out, I'm going to have an idea of what to do. It should be the same other way.



WOW high expectations!!!!! I wonder do women really expect men to make no mistakes? To not be nervous? Well you just said something i think is stupid so i dont like you now. sounds a little absurd to me???? Give the guy a break at least he called and said hey i like you, that gets no credit????? Just seems very minor if you ask me!


Maybe she likes her men confident and to beable to make decisions.




According to thinkingaboutit09 that's having high expectations :wink:.

no photo
Fri 02/06/09 01:48 PM
Edited by heathersaysgobucks on Fri 02/06/09 01:51 PM

I am being civil... I find this tip toe hand wringing crap, exhausting....

Sometimes a blunt direct response shows exactly where the posters are at in their world.... and you can get a sense of the OP also... by whom they respond to, and who they don't...:wink: noway


You are very correct. The way in which people respond certainly does tell others a lot about them. I couldn't agree with you more.

I'm sure the OP knows exactly how she's going to handle this too! Or you could go riding on a Harley at the lake.....laugh laugh That was a long time ago..but I still laugh at our responses OP.

justme659's photo
Fri 02/06/09 01:49 PM
Edited by justme659 on Fri 02/06/09 01:50 PM
I do try to respond to everyone, I ask for pardon for anyone I may have missed.

FYI. I did respond to the gentleman by way of texting. That I am really way to busy this weekend and that maybe if he doesnt have plans for next weekend that I would be able to join him for an evening out.


Thank you all for your responses.