How come a woman is "used up" if she's had multiple sexual partners in her lifetime, but a guy isn't???

happened not to long ago actually. this girl that i had my eye on in HS started thinking that she now wanted to start up a relationship with me. i wasn't about to let that happen. i was more than willing to sleep with her, but she had a kid and i wasn't about to step in to daddy shoes. not for her anyway.

i live by the you snooze, you lose motto.
if you pass on the opportunity, don't change your mind later because the opportunity will have passed.

I don't think they are.
I would be infinitely more concerned if she hadn't.

p.s. by pull date I mean having let themselves goooooooooooooooooo.

Knockin' on 50's door here. Would like to play spin the bottle, but some of the bottles are clearly dirty, have sharp edges, or spin out of control at the slightest touch.
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Boy I thought I was cynical....LOL I had to sit down after reading your profile...my side hurt from laughing so hard. My daughters project may turn into my own self evaluation...LOL Sometimes one has to confront their own demons and thoughts and draw from others...But a part of me still thinks we make dating a bit to hard on ourselves, I have to admit I too am guilty. The thing that strikes me most was it me being a stubborn Taurus or just not remembering to look for the good? I too made the statement "That I was not willing to settle." The funny thing is that the settling list changes day to day and year to year, do you think our grandparents made such statements?
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1Magnum thanks You seemed to catch on to what I was attempting to say...LOL

I try to go into a dating situation without any preconceived notions about how I think a person is going to be or not going to be based on stereotypes. Then I watch that person for signs of compatibility or a lack thereof. And, they watch me. It's much easier than judging someone based on their looks or what you perceive their lifestyle to be.

i reread my posts and i'm pretty sure i never said "used up"
and i don't have a problem with a girl having multiple sexual partners. i do live in the real world. not everyone is capable of going without physical intimacy.

the guys that have had loads of sexual partners are the ones that ran the numbers up on the girls.

so as far as i'm concerned, guys like me, guys who's numbers are in the single digits, we aren't used up. we don't have a long list of one night stands to brag about. and we don't want a girl with a long list of one night stands that she regrets.
we've waited and therefore we deserve better.

How about russian roulette???


Feels more like that, than spin the bottle.....

What I do see are men looking at the outside of the trophy and not seeing what is inside to make the trophy... from what I read you are being visual(judging by your picture)... which granted plays into attraction, but there is more there....

Maybe you feel like you are left with the leftovers because you that is your mindset... maybe change it up and look elsewhere for this woman on a pedestal for you.... you are not going to find Betty Crocker at the local bar lol you go out for a nice steak at a nice restaurant, not stop Burger King... venture out to these places where the one u r seeking would hang out. That would be exclusive higher end department stores, day spas, gyms, better yet personal trainer who could have connections , on certain charity boards, clubs as in golf or yachting...

Nothing wrong with high standards, but maybe realistic ones... looking at stats, yes by the time a woman reaches 40, she has been married once, twice, sometimes more... by 40, yes children. It is rare to find a man in his 40's with his shyt together, who has not been married and who is not a baby daddy, stable job and now wants to dive into a relationship.

Bottom line, there is someone out there for everyone, you just have to be open to them and let your guard down...

and Drew having a right to bitterness is your prerogative, but kind of defeats your purpose on dating site... it would be a redflag to the females as bitter baggage... so it works both ways... just a thought.



Ah Jess.... lol.... I found a nice 50 calliber barret



Debreeze, you should post the list(what a woman wants in different ages on a separate thread) from your POF thread copied from here.... lol

and no I don't believe our grandparents made such statements... different worlds.

My mistake. You said "before she fvcked away all of her youth". No need to be defensive, you are entitled to your opinion and your criteria for a dating relationship. We all have our wants and needs. I wasn't judging.....just asking for a clarification on your opinion.

God bless you Trinite, but you are never going to "get it" much as I will probably never fully appreciate your mind set. Men and women are wired differently. In addition, I'll just bet you are approached by men that are attracted to you all the time. Your viewpoint is entirely different. It's the difference between throwing a bullet and shooting a bullet.

do you think our grandparents made such statements?
Nah. Mine were married 73 years. They had trivial little things on their minds like a depression and a world war, etc.. not real problems like my subpar dating life.

Dating in our 30's and especially 40's is a like a scene from 'Raiders of the lost Ark'-a dangerous, scary, thrill ride that (if you're lucky) can have you standing in the sun with your prize in hand!!! As previous posts have mentioned, there are so many more things to take into account. Children, careers, TIME, compatibility,etc. So much more is at stake than in our 20's, lol!!

To an extent, you have a point man....

I, myself feel a bit of satisfaction when I am with a woman with an endless list of complaints about thier ex...

When they finally realize that they have wasted so many years...and finally settle for the good guy.

Personally I hope they remember that sh*t next time they are looking at the greener grass on the otherside of the fence.

Men and women are wired differently and thank goodness for that...

No I am not approached by men all the time. The ones who do write me do ask questions of a genuine nature which I respond, some are of the younger set who appreciate a good sense of humor and sarcasm... some who write that are looking for a quck roll in the hay get blocked...I think it's an aura you put out, available or not. Even single where I was located at, the men had a different mindset and while I did attempt the POF dating, the men were very misleading... so it's not just men getting 'hosed over'.

It took a man in different country to capture my interest and we are very similar yet very respectful of our individual lifestyles, he has his interests, I have mine. The irony is he was single, never married, no kids and I have 2 mariages under my belt and 3 kids. Took 2 previous relationships to figure out what I was doing wrong.

Hell try a different country... you would be a hit at the next high school reuniuon...

My viewpoint is different Einstein said it best...“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”

Yes there is a difference in throwing a bullet and shooting one( ), but they both are determined by the one holding it all in their hands and their target.... 'touché'

Did you marry an aussie?

See I told ya it was like russian roulette...

Heck no too many dust bunny labor unions there I was told LOL so I stuck to USA's tophat in Canada LOL

not sure, but i would prefer a gal like that.she has prob bin dissapointed so much, my odds dont look to bad then.!!!

Contrary to popular knowledge...

I seen what was written on the back of the loo door Hawks...

free mango and dust bunny slippers with every australian husband... two for one offers even...

some slightly used and heavily discounted...

Okay so is holding you back my lovely sheila???
ROFL ((waiting on disclaimers.... ))