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| Topic: My Fault: My Responsibility | |
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I apologize. I apologize for posting a comment that was worded so poorly as to be hurtful, and nobody here deserves that. What did I say? Here it is: Maybe the initial question/topic would find more resolution through a mirror thread. Rather than the "why things go schizoid", just make a thread about "Which guys have had more happy women and many chances with truly good relationships? How did those guys end up with those women, and why did it work?" I mean, if you're building racecars, just ask the guys/women who are winners already. Learn from the successes instead of asking failures for advice. I posted that. I need fixing up, and I cannot do it alone. I've improved my social skills a little bit, since becoming a Mingle member, but obviously there remains much room for improvement. So give me my own medicine. Straight out. I'm asking you because you have/had successful relationships, and you know darned well why they worked when they were good relationships. What's your advice? |
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Edited by
moofooga
on
Mon 02/02/09 11:33 PM
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What advice? You spoke your mind, and you didn't water it down. That's all that matters. If some uber-sensitive cry-baby has their panties in a twist because of what you said, then they can go choke on a tire.
As far as your question- There are any number of things that will result in a long, healthy relationship. Compromise can be one, tolerance can be another, or it could just be the dreaded feeling that you've found the best you can find and trying to find someone better would be a losing proposition. In the end, there are no answers. Only more questions. |
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Thanks, moof.
I appreciate your response. That's really good. I hadn't seen things that way (your advice). 
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?????? Tell the diary EVERYTHING!!!
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Yup.
Keep it coming, guys.  I asked for it. Let it rip. 
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I dont know what the hell you did but if we had all the answers would we be here?????
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Edited by
scoundrel
on
Tue 02/03/09 01:27 AM
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I really believe that you know what works for you, Gypsy.
It might work for others, too. So, I ask for advice.  What works for you? P.S. It doesn't matter what I did. What matters is if I am getting ready for Mz. Right. A person just never knows...it could happen any day. |
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I have this idea and I have always thought it to be true...............i think if you are a negative person you attract negative people and negative relationships that dont last...........also if you have no self confidence you are attracted to the ones who do have it and they usually end up exploiting you..........If you have a positive outlook in life then people gravitate to you more often.......
I have seen this in my own life.........when i am self conscious and i dont feel good about myself I attract the a$$holes of life.........but when I am good to myself and I am happy in life I attract people who have the same idea of life........... I think too many of us arent being who we are and sometimes that lack of self confidence seems to attract the undesirables in life either it be a man or a woman..........  |
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Great post, Tanz!
 Now...to carry your reasoning 1 step further: ...I start out admitting that I am at fault. No blaming anybody else. And I ask for advice. Sounds like an easy opportunity for people to show their good side. Give a schmo some good advice. What can it hurt? Especially here? |
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I have found in a good relationship.... Promise to treat your date the way you would want their dates to treat your child.
Speak gently about your past relationships because they were still your choice and you do not need to make yourself a fool. You speak and listen in a direct ratio to the number of mouths and ears you have. Less important is finding the perfect mate if you are trying to be the perfect mate. Lasting love takes the same effort to maintain it as there was to attain it. Life and relationships are about change; adapt and thrive or remain static and sink. If you want to grow old together be young in heart. Invest in your marriage every day and you won't pay for a divorce. Turn the TV/electronic toys/computer off and your relationship on. Be your spouse's best friend and your bosses employee. The best gift to your love is not things; it is time. If you live to be 80; 1/4 will be with your parents, 1/4 with your children, and 3/4's with your spouse; prioritize where you are going to need the most tolerance. Sometimes balanceing your life is more important than balanceing your checkbook. Live with in your means and Mean how you live. Relationships will not exist without tears anymore than a plant will exist without rain. Truth is free but lies are costly. Love may appear in and instant but it takes a lifetime to make stay. 99% of great sex is between the ears. Jealousy is the key to hell. |
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Pppppfffftttt!!! Sniff, sniff. Grilled cheese n ham!!!
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I have found in a good relationship.... Promise to treat your date the way you would want their dates to treat your child. Speak gently about your past relationships because they were still your choice and you do not need to make yourself a fool. You speak and listen in a direct ratio to the number of mouths and ears you have. Less important is finding the perfect mate if you are trying to be the perfect mate. Lasting love takes the same effort to maintain it as there was to attain it. Life and relationships are about change; adapt and thrive or remain static and sink. If you want to grow old together be young in heart. Invest in your marriage every day and you won't pay for a divorce. Turn the TV/electronic toys/computer off and your relationship on. Be your spouse's best friend and your bosses employee. The best gift to your love is not things; it is time. If you live to be 80; 1/4 will be with your parents, 1/4 with your children, and 3/4's with your spouse; prioritize where you are going to need the most tolerance. Sometimes balanceing your life is more important than balanceing your checkbook. Live with in your means and Mean how you live. Relationships will not exist without tears anymore than a plant will exist without rain. Truth is free but lies are costly. Love may appear in and instant but it takes a lifetime to make stay. 99% of great sex is between the ears. Jealousy is the key to hell. 
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except for that sex part between the ears........I like it somewhere else!!!
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Across my readings and in speaking with several women recently, it came to my attention that relationships that last 15, 20 years or more are really a phenomena of times past. They don't seem to occur that much anymore. Preferential love just doesn't seem to last that long in today's day and age. Very sad and disappointing, but true.
Many no longer care about or need marriage. People grow and change, and often times, even "good, successful" relationships and true love fade with it. Not always, but it does. We then are faced with finding a "new fit" for the next part of our journey. |
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I have found in a good relationship.... Promise to treat your date the way you would want their dates to treat your child. Speak gently about your past relationships because they were still your choice and you do not need to make yourself a fool. You speak and listen in a direct ratio to the number of mouths and ears you have. Less important is finding the perfect mate if you are trying to be the perfect mate. Lasting love takes the same effort to maintain it as there was to attain it. Life and relationships are about change; adapt and thrive or remain static and sink. If you want to grow old together be young in heart. Invest in your marriage every day and you won't pay for a divorce. Turn the TV/electronic toys/computer off and your relationship on. Be your spouse's best friend and your bosses employee. The best gift to your love is not things; it is time. If you live to be 80; 1/4 will be with your parents, 1/4 with your children, and 3/4's with your spouse; prioritize where you are going to need the most tolerance. Sometimes balanceing your life is more important than balanceing your checkbook. Live with in your means and Mean how you live. Relationships will not exist without tears anymore than a plant will exist without rain. Truth is free but lies are costly. Love may appear in and instant but it takes a lifetime to make stay. 99% of great sex is between the ears. Jealousy is the key to hell. Nice compilation .. works for me. Put this with the idea that angel shared, and make a difference in relationships today. We ARE the change ..
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I read the OP and still have no idea what you are talking about....
Apology Accepted, none the less.... |
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Settle for nothing less than complete happiness my good fellow. Seriously...between the numerous failed attempts with women (that I basically knew wouldn't last)...through the periods of emotional burn out....they were all nesessary evils. Those experiences put things into perspective for me. Eventually the real deal fell back into my arms and now I know what real love and happiness is...it is a war of attrition.
The bad stuff leads us on the path to finally find the good thing that we seek. Personally, I am grateful for all the crap I went through...it really makes me appreciate what is genuinely good. |
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