Time is a cure for many things. At the same time, my wife stoled my
heart in 1 day, and we had 7 years of heaven.

not about me stealing his heart here... its about thinking the loss for
someone else... and perhaps it wont work out thinking of others... and
their losses... and marriage for im sure the wrong reasons....

Having lived through this once and would consider never doing it again.

All I have to offer is, to rally know someone takes time. The kind of
time two people speend together, in person. This shows who he is and if
you can be yourself around him.

A person prospective of themself is not always is not always reality.

However I do wish you luck and hope the best for you.

Ron

Buttons, my opinion, you don't marry to get security in a relationship,
you marry someone because you are secure. It sounds like he's not. If
someone wanted to marry me just so they could "keep" me, that would
scare the heck outta me. I don't want to be kept, like a pet, I want to
be in a relationship because I want to be, and I want them to feel the
same way. If/when I marry, it'll be because I know I want to spend the
rest of my life with them. Not for some kind of "secure" situation.
Marriage should be an affirmation of security, not the source of it.
JMO.

I can really feel your thoughts.

Let me ask you, are you scared?

Do you know want I mean?

ty bama! for i outright asked the reasoning after he asked me... and had
the discussion the night before... yes had the same affect on me as u
are saying....

scared me off and i let him know...

Then the answer is time. Quality time. And more time together.

Do you think?

It's taken me 12 years now, for me to even think of opening the door
again since "Mia" passed away.

hun he popped the question way too fast as i told him... and for the
wrong reasons... yes i care about him... very much but our ideas on
marriage are way different and that cant be taken back....

Yes, I hear you.

i myself know it takes longer than a week... was wanting everyone to
think of concequenses first... especialy if a flight is booked and if
they have any heart ... for others.. like i never experienced this all
before... and i knew in first place i wanted a closer encounter... but
the heart took over and my mind was gone lol... i had a clue and sorta
over looked it till i started feeling ****ty in the end till time neared
to meet... reality set in... so im ok with my decision here... but will
look deeper the next time.... again till this occured <the marriage
thing> for those reasons everything may have worked who knows but not in
one week that is for sure lol..

im fine and need to go on with my life i only hope he does the same and
think next time about his future...

buttons,

Thank you for your thread. I wish there were more threads like this up
here. I have so many questions, but am afraid to ask. Threads like these
mean so much to me.

please ask........ u can email if u wish...

Well, there's a part of me that just wants to spill all, then there is a
part that is so afraid. You see I think of a lot of you like heroes. I
really do. Even when some cracks a joke in the middle of something
serious, I can still feel the love up here.

well do what u feel comfortable with..... thats what i do..i know my
purpose... to help others as best as i can....this is why i share.. for
its nothing less than i discussed with him....again i care.. about
others .. i care about him this is where this thread all stems from....

I can understand why it scared you when he asked for you to marry him.
I'm with you on that one for it is a bit soon but then I only knew my ex
2 months before we got married and was for 11 years. But then you two
have not been around each other much either. Cam , Phone calls and
e-mail are great ways to keep in contact but to really get to know
someone in order to make that kind of decision I would think being
around each other in person would be needed. But that is just me for you
can get to know the person better that way. I've tried the LDR before we
talked and flew back and forth for a year lol but final did not work
out. It is a hard decision to make and really the only one that can make
it is you by weighing all the odds. But I do understand it does sound as
a desperate move like a guarantee you will be faithful maybe he has a
trust issue. But will surely give you something to think about.

Sounds like maybe he was afraid of losing you, but I agree that's not a
reason to get married.

well hhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

uuuuhhhhhhhhhhh mmmmmmmaaaaaahhhh

ok i see it like this
he wants you to marry him for some reason right or wrong

i tthink that could (big word here) be a good thing

but to accept on such a short experience a little shakey

mayb e the answer is to look at him and say

i wll pretend we are married if you will

for x amoutn of time and when that time comes

dicide if you need more time or go for it

but hey what do i know