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| Topic: The Geezer Club | |
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I'm so old I fart dust... I'm so old, I played with dirt when it was new. 
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You're not old UNLESS you can remember:
Being sent to the drugstore to test vacuum tubes for the TV. |
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I'm so old, the big bang interrupted my nap
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I'm so old, the big bang interrupted my nap Yeah, that cosmic dust storm was hell, wasn't it? |
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Just what we need.... another mans club  Hey, old biddys are welcome too.  Three older ladies were discussing the trials of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can't remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich." The second lady chimed in, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down." The third one responded, "Well, I'm sure glad I don't have that problem, knock on wood." She rapped her knuckles on the table and said, "That must be the door, I'll get it."
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I never really felt old until I tried online dating.
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A group of senior citizens were exchanging notes about their ailments.
"My arm is so weak I can hardly hold this coffee cup." "Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't see to pour the coffee." "I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck." "My blood pressure pills make my dizzy." "I guess that's the price we pay for getting old." "Well, it's not all bad. We should be thankful that we can still drive." |
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Old age is discriminatory, so I am starting a class action law suit against....Kneesilthelioma.
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Old age is discriminatory, so I am starting a class action law suit against....Kneesilthelioma. Where do I sign up? |
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well this is......ah hell i forgot what i was gonna say
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well this is......ah hell i forgot what i was gonna say Welcome to the club Fetts. Can't remember what you were going to say? You might be qualified for a cabinet position. |
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I got home and realized ....
I left my stamps at the grocery store counter, my prescription at the bank teller,and my milk at the post office....... I lost my glasses along the way, but thats ok, I have a spare pair in the glove box, so I can see to drive back and pick up all these things. If I could only remember where I ..... Parked the friggen car.............  
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A guy was invited to some old friends' home for dinner. His buddy preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.
He was impressed since the couple had been married almost 40 years, and while the wife was off in the kitchen he said to his buddy, "I think it's wonderful that after all the years you've been married, you still call your wife those pet names." His buddy hung his head. "To tell you the truth, I forgot her name about ten years ago." |
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3 old farts in a nursing home
the 70 yr old says, man i wish i could pee like i used to!! the 80 yr old says, man i wish i could crap like i used to!! the 90 yr old says, i cant figure you youngins out, every mornin at 8 am i take a nice long pee, and then at 10 am everyday, i take a healthy crap, just like clockwork. my problem is i dont wake up till noon 
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You know you're getting old when a tube of KY & a tube of PreparationH pretty much means the same thing...
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There's a new remedy on the market for baldness. It's made of alum and persimmon juice. It doesn't grow hair, but it shrinks your head to fit what hair you have
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 I am approaching "geezerhood"
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I am approaching "geezerhood" Women are old biddys not geezers. But of course all biddys are most welcome. How are you (((Merle)))? |
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I invented dirt so therefore I am older than it!
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