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| Topic: If You Got Re-Married Or..... | |
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Marriage 
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OK,,, I have been in jail for being drunk,, But all that happen 25 year's ago,, Does that count as a criminal history ?????? I don't drink or use drug..
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Joe, I think HeartSoul raised some good points. I agree. Those are traits i would look for in any future relationship. All we have to do now is find a "perfect" person and clone them! My idea so i get the original!
Ohhh...I was talking to CitizenJoe. I better watch it with two Joe's here now.  No problems though.
Clever - cloning and you get the original.
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Joe, I think HeartSoul raised some good points. Selflessness covers the greater majority of the points. That's all I'm saying. It seemed more like the same thing over and over expressed in different ways rather than individual characteristics. I see what you're saying. I do see it as individual characteristics though. Everybody reads things differently.
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i think balanace is extremly important...i believe that is one of the major reasons relationships do fail. between work and kids and friends and making time for oneself....a persons 'better half' is often left out of the equation. being able to juggle is also an important thing to look for.,...especially if you are with someone that already has kids of their own. I had forgotten how important balance was until I started reading these posts. I have balance. It's a light on my washing machine.
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I could go on for pages here, but in short: she must and I mean M.U.S.T. be emotionally & mentally stable! I draw the line at having some baggage toting, whiney, OCD, pill popping, psycho drama queen raise my children. I'm picky like that... 
That's not picky, IMO.
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Married for the first time.... What qualities/characteristics would be important to you as a step-parent/parent for your child/children? Must like children. Had to have a healthy childhood,(or at least not be resentful toward parents). Loving Caring Compassionate Thoughtful Not afraid to show authority. Children need a parent to be a parent, not a friend. A sense of humor The ability to listen. Children ALWAYS need to be heard. Tolerant Honest No criminal history No drug or alcohol abuse Not addicted to sex. Porn is a big NO-NO! Patience Non-abusive past. Can't have anyone beating me or my children. So many more qualities, but these are most important. Heart, These are excellent points. Very well put. 
Thank you
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Sorry, you lost me to fits of tearful laughter after reading the title. What was the question? 
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structured gentle yet firm kind and caring loving protective loyal brave reliable available physically and emotionally able to support himself and treat the family once in a while financially responsible liking to spend most of his time with family when not working good self-esteem Nice.
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First of all, it's gonna have to take one hell of a man to convince me to marry again. He has to like kids and all the chaos that comes with them. Loud noise and chaos reigns in my house. I have 2 boys 10 and 3. There is no such thing as peace and quiet unless they're gone. LOL Gotta like doin stuff outdoors fishin, muddin, etc. We tend to stay outdoors gettin dirty when the weather is nice, so no metrosexuals for us. Gotta like to eat, so no fitness freaks either. I'll take a good ole redneck country man! 
That sounds like a fun house. 
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This might belong on a thread of its own. But, how would you deal with a great match if they never had kids? Do you have a "learning curve" for someone like that? I did that and things just worked out. We made a point of agreeing to present a united front about family guidelines and set down and tried to talk over every possible thing that would come up. We found it was an ongoing process as the kids went through different stages and matured. In the beginning he let me take the lead because often he was away on military missions. But if I told the kids to do something and they tried to play me off he would would step up. When either of us were not sure how the other felt about something we just told them not until we talk about it. There really are very few parenting decisions that have to be made immediately. Kids learn very fast that it was in there best interest to bring things to both of us. Sure there were times when we were on a slightly different level on things but generally we would just agree to meet in the middle. When neither of us were sure what to do we would brainstorm and agree on a plan and face the consequences equally. Some things I learned from experience I let him learn from experience. I will always laugh about him buying silly putty and then cleaning up the whopper of a mess that was made with it. But there were things he taught me about "our" children. I never saw it as my job to teach him how to be a Dad and he didn't see it as his job to try and teach me how to be a Mom. But we worked together teaching each other how to be a family what we all liked and disliked about each other but it was always clear from the start that it wasn't a temporary arrangement and we had to work it out. |
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 being understanding and supportive
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Joe, I think HeartSoul raised some good points. I agree. Those are traits i would look for in any future relationship. All we have to do now is find a "perfect" person and clone them! My idea so i get the original!
Ohhh...I was talking to CitizenJoe. I better watch it with two Joe's here now. No problems though.
Clever - cloning and you get the original.
I'm used to that. Last night I was at a place where there were 4 joes, but only one me. 
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Joe, I think HeartSoul raised some good points. I agree. Those are traits i would look for in any future relationship. All we have to do now is find a "perfect" person and clone them! My idea so i get the original!
Ohhh...I was talking to CitizenJoe. I better watch it with two Joe's here now. No problems though.
Clever - cloning and you get the original.
I'm used to that. Last night I was at a place where there were 4 joes, but only one me.
4 Joes, really? I've never run into that.
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I've noticed something that was not mentioned on this thread that I feel is important to children:
Never break promises! |
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Married for the first time.... What qualities/characteristics would be important to you as a step-parent/parent for your child/children? I'm not here to replace anyone, just to be a positive influence in their life. I'm just here to help them make the right decisions in their life. |
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I've noticed something that was not mentioned on this thread that I feel is important to children: Never break promises! That is very important. It can cause.... 
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Married for the first time.... What qualities/characteristics would be important to you as a step-parent/parent for your child/children? I'm not here to replace anyone, just to be a positive influence in their life. I'm just here to help them make the right decisions in their life. That's nice, Totage.
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I've noticed something that was not mentioned on this thread that I feel is important to children: Never break promises! That is very important. It can cause....
That's true. And it causes psychological and emotional damage to the child. They learn to not trust. |
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A couple of the most important things to me are patience, more patience and more patience. Families don't happen overnight and it takes a lot of work and patience to get into a groove. Also, I want someone who loves and treats my kid like their own, while still recognizing and respecting parental boundaries.
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