Previous 1
Topic: Transitional Relationships
scoundrel's photo
Sun 01/25/09 03:41 PM
How many transitional relationships do you want to experience?

Had many?

You're here, now...and are you in the Final Great Relationship of your life...or another Transitional Relationship??? Hmmmmm???bigsmile bigsmile bigsmile bigsmile bigsmile bigsmile bigsmile

PATSFAN's photo
Sun 01/25/09 03:43 PM
drinker I'm going to date til I dropdrinker

no photo
Sun 01/25/09 03:43 PM
whats a tranny relationship???? Does it involve man clothing and blue sprinkles???surprised

scoundrel's photo
Sun 01/25/09 04:37 PM
Where do you like blue sprinkles sprinkled???bigsmile :banana:

no photo
Sun 01/25/09 04:38 PM

Where do you like blue sprinkles sprinkled???bigsmile :banana:
anywhere but the naughty bits!!!noway laugh

scoundrel's photo
Sun 01/25/09 04:41 PM
Edited by scoundrel on Sun 01/25/09 04:44 PM
A light coat of Oil of Olay on the flesh seems like fun to sprinkle and decorate.bigsmile

Hmm....this could get artsy...and tasty.drool


...but would that be transitional? Would it be the start of a forever after relationship?love love

no photo
Sun 01/25/09 04:52 PM
i HAVE no idea what a transitional relationship is.......could it be a relationship in between other relationships?????surprised rofl rofl

no photo
Sun 01/25/09 05:30 PM
????? Anyone gonna tell me that is???????laugh

scoundrel's photo
Sun 01/25/09 05:44 PM
There are differing types of transitional relationships, but the most basic is what you mentioned, as between what was and what you are hoping to find.

Not that people go into transitional relationships with the intent to leave them. On the contrary, the people need the relationship in order to fulfill their inner needs. They have not thought ahead to the end of this relationship.

That was the purpose of my question: Are you in a transitional relationship?

scoundrel's photo
Sun 01/25/09 05:47 PM
By the way, in case the definition of transitional relationship sounds harsh, it can often be a good thing. Many people on the fall or on the rebound from devastation at the end of a relationship can bond together for mutual wound licking...without needing to call it that. They are not necessarily ready for another lifelong commitment, but they fulfill special needs in order to heal and be ready to proceed.flowerforyou

SitkaRains's photo
Sun 01/25/09 05:48 PM

There are differing types of transitional relationships, but the most basic is what you mentioned, as between what was and what you are hoping to find.

Not that people go into transitional relationships with the intent to leave them. On the contrary, the people need the relationship in order to fulfill their inner needs. They have not thought ahead to the end of this relationship.

That was the purpose of my question: Are you in a transitional relationship?


Okay I am so lost here do we enter the relationship thinking this is the one or do we sit back and say let's see where this goes. I am so lost on what transitional relationship means...

Fade2Black's photo
Sun 01/25/09 05:50 PM
Hmmm I never gave any of my relationships this much thought. oops It's exhausting.

How bout just have a boatload of fun and call it the past when it's over?

:laughing:

scoundrel's photo
Sun 01/25/09 05:59 PM


There are differing types of transitional relationships, but the most basic is what you mentioned, as between what was and what you are hoping to find.

Not that people go into transitional relationships with the intent to leave them. On the contrary, the people need the relationship in order to fulfill their inner needs. They have not thought ahead to the end of this relationship.

That was the purpose of my question: Are you in a transitional relationship?


Okay I am so lost here do we enter the relationship thinking this is the one or do we sit back and say let's see where this goes. I am so lost on what transitional relationship means...


It is a discomforting subject, simply by the very name. It suggests impermanence.
We almost always enter a relationship with the intent of seeing where it goes, as you say, or else we are readily convinced that it is already the right one (i.e. forever). Those facts are we tell ourselves, or believe, but those are not really the truth.
The truth is that each phase of maturing into a working relationship requires transitions. While we commit to each other, heart and soul and fully believing in our words, usually one of the two people is not really ready or able.
A good heart is not enough.
A good person can be victimized by their own lack of self-knowledge, and have yet to fully work out their recovery from previous failed relationships. Their incomplete recovery will thus put their present mate at risk of broken heart, failed promises, etc.
This is common in dating. Each date that works out for the time being is in fact a transitional relationship, until the right one is found.

So, I ask...do people know that they are in fact seeking transitional relationships? Do they want more of them? Are they in one now?

How would you approach this subject?

galendgirl's photo
Sun 01/25/09 06:04 PM

By the way, in case the definition of transitional relationship sounds harsh, it can often be a good thing. Many people on the fall or on the rebound from devastation at the end of a relationship can bond together for mutual wound licking...without needing to call it that. They are not necessarily ready for another lifelong commitment, but they fulfill special needs in order to heal and be ready to proceed.flowerforyou


Interesting...and the answer is 'maybe.' How do you KNOW if it's transitional until it's over and you figure out the purpose? What if you think it's transitional and turns to something lasting?

I guess I think trying to pigeonhole a relationship into any catagory is a little dangerous.

no photo
Sun 01/25/09 06:07 PM
Wow, I completely missed the point of this. I thought a transitional relationship was like the time I met the woman on a Greyhound bus and we got it on in the back seat all across Iowa. I was going to Denver, she went on to California. I never heard from her again. Of course, that was in the '70s when you could do that kind of thing without putting your life at risk.

scoundrel's photo
Sun 01/25/09 06:13 PM


By the way, in case the definition of transitional relationship sounds harsh, it can often be a good thing. Many people on the fall or on the rebound from devastation at the end of a relationship can bond together for mutual wound licking...without needing to call it that. They are not necessarily ready for another lifelong commitment, but they fulfill special needs in order to heal and be ready to proceed.flowerforyou


Interesting...and the answer is 'maybe.' How do you KNOW if it's transitional until it's over and you figure out the purpose? What if you think it's transitional and turns to something lasting?

I guess I think trying to pigeonhole a relationship into any catagory is a little dangerous.


I am just respecting the hearts of people.

More than once, a lady has told me, "I am in transition; recovering from breaking up. It isn't fair to you or to me for us to believe that this is permanent."

That kind of self-knowledge and honesty helped me to see their hearts and their wisdom.flowerforyou

SitkaRains's photo
Sun 01/25/09 06:14 PM
Edited by SitkaRains on Sun 01/25/09 06:22 PM
So, I ask...do people know that they are in fact seeking transitional relationships? Do they want more of them? Are they in one now?

How would you approach this subject

Okay this might be a little bit weird but I think my whole life is transitional, since I am never the same nor is any one of my relationships the same as it was the day before. I enter everything I do as seeking and experiencing.

I may be really weird, yet to me when I am at the relationship stage..I am wanting to see where will go at the same time I am always evaluating the whys, of all my relationships and experiences whether romantic, friendships or family doesn't matter to me what type. Easier way to say this; in my life I believe everything is transitional since nothing stays the same.

Casual dating is more to me what you are talking about.. That I used to be a Pro at.

galendgirl's photo
Sun 01/25/09 06:23 PM



By the way, in case the definition of transitional relationship sounds harsh, it can often be a good thing. Many people on the fall or on the rebound from devastation at the end of a relationship can bond together for mutual wound licking...without needing to call it that. They are not necessarily ready for another lifelong commitment, but they fulfill special needs in order to heal and be ready to proceed.flowerforyou


Interesting...and the answer is 'maybe.' How do you KNOW if it's transitional until it's over and you figure out the purpose? What if you think it's transitional and turns to something lasting?

I guess I think trying to pigeonhole a relationship into any catagory is a little dangerous.


I am just respecting the hearts of people.

More than once, a lady has told me, "I am in transition; recovering from breaking up. It isn't fair to you or to me for us to believe that this is permanent."

That kind of self-knowledge and honesty helped me to see their hearts and their wisdom.flowerforyou


So I guess the real question is: do you want to be in that relationship? I still think it's a little dangerous to already strike down a potential happy ending because your are hurting...of course, what do I know? I just holed up and built a wall around my heart for many years, so it's probably no more self-defeating than my own behavior was. Just saying...

Whatever works for each person is the right choice at the time.

no photo
Sun 01/25/09 06:26 PM
The transitional relationship is the one you have when you really haven't gotten over the last one. In those relationships, you are trying to repair your own ego and feelings. Once you are healed (that can take a long time) you will find that you would rather have no relationship than one you know probably won't last.

scoundrel's photo
Sun 01/25/09 06:28 PM
I totally respect that outlook, Sitka, and also agree with your description of casual dating.

For many of us--if not most--accepting the realities of daring to do casual dating with honest emotion is a depressing experience. Others handle it with much more aplomb than I do, and I wish them continued satisfaction.

At least we recognize that there is a difference in intent between casual dating and seeking that final permanent relationship. Still, in the mix there are many souls who understand that they are in transition, but do not admit it.

This is food for thought, especially given the numerous threads about people's inability to find or to cement permanent healthy relationships.
If people understand that they are in transition then the next choice is to define when they are in fact ready to seek and fit to vow permanence.


Previous 1