Here are some examples of my advanced intelligence. If the women don't flock to me now, they never will!

Once I read a headline in the paper that said "Tacoman robs area bank" I was thinking to myself...who is this Mexican master villain, and why haven't I heard of him before? It was then I realized that a person from Tacoma is a Tacoman.....Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

One other time I was having my sink refinished. I was heading to Vegas early the next morning, so I was doing my dishes. Uh oh, the sink isn't draining. Can't have your sink refinished if it's full of dishwater.
So...I grab a coathanger, straighten it out and try to break up the clog. I'm congratulating myself on how nicely the sink is draining until I see the large puddle forming on the kitchen floor.
I had poked a hole in the drain. Next, I'm brilliantly holding a coffee mug under the drain to catch the water as it comes out....duh.
Thank goodness for 24 hour plumbers.