I am sorry, but I have to be a smartass here....just cause I am a master at dorkology...

What's got you so SKAD?.....that struck me as a funny name, (in a good way), since it sounds like an ol' country boy saying the word scared...lol....ha ha ha .....yeah, so what....I'll just laugh at my own jokes ok...lol

Oh come on .. I can type MNmermaid in my sleep.

Actually, that was pretty tough .. I had to backspace twice.

Hey, does anyone have access to cute southern jokes, sort of like..

You know you're in the country when...

Or maybe some about men and women, like...

When she says nothing, it means...

I've seen some b4 when I did office work.. It was epidemic, actually. Would just like to get some from time to time)

Cute one said, I don't care how much your porsche costs, if you can't drive down a gravel road at a reasonable speed, I'll ride my dually right over your @#$.

Things like that..

pasturize.....redneck word.....WHOA! Did ya see that wasp that done flew pasturize?

Like...

What's the difference between a Yankee zoo and a Redneck zoo?

On the cage in a Yankee zoo, it will have the name of the animal and the scientific name in Latin.

A Southern zoo will have the name of the animal and a recipe.

Haha.. Skadow is the norse word for shadow. I wrote a fantasy fiction novel last year and instead of having Dark Elves, I had Skadowan Elves. I'm still editing, btw, so don't ask how it's going...(I submitted over last summer and didn't hear back from three companies, but that's not uncommon..gonna use my free time this semester, whatever that means, to edit up the scenery..adding smells and feels into it) Skad is just the shorter version.. I know, sounds like an external blood clot built up on the knees, but it is what it is)

Question: How long does it takes a redneck to eat road kill?

Answer: It depends on how heavy the traffic is.

Love those! Need to send you guys my email address if you're on a mailing list for those types of jokes..

I just googled "Redneck jokes"

Question: What are the last words of a redneck?

Answer: "Hey y'all check this out!"

Question: What does a redneck chick say after sex?

Answer: Get off me daddy, your crushing my smokes!

Question: What does a redneck divorce and a tornado have in common?

Answer: One way or the other someone is losing their trailer!

Hmm.. I can't send email to you ummm... now that's just wrong. Why the heck do I have to type all that out, and it doesn't even sound right.. lovemeifyoucan! gosh that was painful.. Was going to say I love the picture with the dog doing it's business)

rofl.. keep em coming ash!

You know your a redneck when:

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

You know your a redneck when:

You've been married three times and still have the
same in-laws.

Your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.

Your grandfather died and left everything to his
widow. But she can't touch it until she's fourteen.

Your sister is the third generation of women in your
family to conceive a baby as a result of an alien
abduction.

You think Possum is "The Other White Meat"

You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.

You hooked up with your present girlfriend as a result
of a message on the wall of the mens' room at the
Flying J Truck Stop.

The centerpiece on your dining room table is an
original signed work by a famous taxidermist.

You think a quarter horse is a ride out in front of
the Wal-Mart.

You lit a match in the bathroom and your house
exploded right off its wheels.

Your huntin' dawg had a litter of puppies in the
living room and nobody noticed.

You think safe sex is a padded headboard.

You think subdivision is part of a math problem.

You think there's nothin' wrong with incest as long as
you keep it in the family.

Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy
Queen.

You think God looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr., and
heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach, Florida.

You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner
are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

You believe dual air bags refer to your wife and
mother-in-law.

You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'.

You were acquitted for murdering your first wife after
she threw out your Elvis 45's.

You think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.

Your front porch collapses and four dogs git killed.

The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your
neighbors.

You've ever had to scratch your sisters name out of a
message that begins, "For a good time Call..."

You know yer a redneck when you take a load to the
dump and bring back more than you took.

Your whole family is Democrats except little Mary. She
got to readin'.

You think fast food is hitting a possum at 65 mph.

You have a bumper sticker that says, "MY MOTHER'S AN HONOR STUDENT AT SOUTH LITTLE ROCK JR. HIGH."

I'm still looking for more.. Southern Pride jokes.. ;p the others are cute, too. but that one with the dually had so much more to it and I can't find it now.

Those are cute, too, Etrain!

And the conversation is over. =[

G'Morning

Buenos dias Senorita.. Es un buen dia aqui. Tengo que ir a la escuela en dos horas, mas o menos, pero primero...Yo necisito que ejercitar!