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| Topic: just needed to get this off my mind | |
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i'm not looking for like anything i just had to get this out there an i cant get hold of any of my friends or my lil sister to talk about this,
but last night my ex g/f came over to hang out an we got into a huge fight an then she drove home pissed off an i just let her leave an about 20 mins went by an we got a fire call out for a PI an i didnt think anything of it an when we pulled up on scene it was her. she hit black ice an road her car 4 times on the high way an now she has 2 broken bones in her leg. an i didnt know what to do when we got there cause when i seen her face something came over me. idk but i help but think that i had something to do with her rolling her car. if we never got into a fight she wouldnt be in the hospital. should i be feeling like it was my fault? |
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You only have control over your actions. This isn't your fault. If she left all pissed and was not paying attention to driving, it's her fault. Or she quite possibly just hit some ice and couldn't avoid it. But either way, it's not your fault.
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Very unfortunate. I'm sorry to hear it... It's not your fault.
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Very unfortunate. I'm sorry to hear it... It's not your fault. I agree. |
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Edited by
Shagwell
on
Thu 01/22/09 11:14 AM
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it would be hard not to feel guilty, but really you have nothing to do with it, just a unfortunate coincedent!
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It's not your fault
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jose can you see?
it's not your fault |
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No. It isn't your fault. She made the choice to leave. If she was angry, chances are she was driving too fast for the conditions. Just because you two had an argument, doesn't mean that the things that result AFTER the argument are your fault.
As far as " something " coming over you when you realized it was her... I have heard from many of my friends ( firefighters, police ) that going out to calls and helping people is relatively easy to do...until it winds up being someone you know. When the call you go out on suddenly winds up being " personal ", it's a whole different dynamic. |
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i'm not looking for like anything i just had to get this out there an i cant get hold of any of my friends or my lil sister to talk about this, but last night my ex g/f came over to hang out an we got into a huge fight an then she drove home pissed off an i just let her leave an about 20 mins went by an we got a fire call out for a PI an i didnt think anything of it an when we pulled up on scene it was her. she hit black ice an road her car 4 times on the high way an now she has 2 broken bones in her leg. an i didnt know what to do when we got there cause when i seen her face something came over me. idk but i help but think that i had something to do with her rolling her car. if we never got into a fight she wouldnt be in the hospital. should i be feeling like it was my fault? Have you spoke with her yet about how your feeling? Have you seen her? |
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You can't feel guilty about a bad decision made by her. There is a point in our lives we we can discern from right and wrong. She had a choice to make, and she did.
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i'm not looking for like anything i just had to get this out there an i cant get hold of any of my friends or my lil sister to talk about this, but last night my ex g/f came over to hang out an we got into a huge fight an then she drove home pissed off an i just let her leave an about 20 mins went by an we got a fire call out for a PI an i didnt think anything of it an when we pulled up on scene it was her. she hit black ice an road her car 4 times on the high way an now she has 2 broken bones in her leg. an i didnt know what to do when we got there cause when i seen her face something came over me. idk but i help but think that i had something to do with her rolling her car. if we never got into a fight she wouldnt be in the hospital. should i be feeling like it was my fault? U cant be responsible for her responses and do not feel guilty for it. |
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the only way that this would be your fault would be if you told her to hit the patch of ice and then she did it, not your fault she was driveing the way in which she was.She is the one who was driving like a crazy person
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Guilt is nothing but a millstone around your neck...you have no control over Fate... If you succumb to it, you'll be giving her no help at all...
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HER BAD NOT YOURS! damn caps lock....
 Anyhow, so what the both of you got in a fight. We are personally responsible for what we do with our emotions no matter what. If I got pissed off because of someone taunting me and I hauled off and left and killed someone in the process the person who instigated me didn't let MY anger harm someone even if it was myself. Your GF needs a serious dose of WAKE THE HELL UP! If she gets man and acts destructively she has issues. Maybe a totalled car and two broken bones are the cost of the wisdom she acquired for being an emotional, well I really am at a loss for adjectives here that will not antagonize sensitivities but she needs to get a FRIKKEN grip. She could have killed one or more people including herself. My mom is a retired Volunteer fire fighter and paramedic and I have seen some of the stuff she had to deal with involving black ice. Nothing like having to extract the dead from a car that hit a semi tractor trailer head on after loosing control or having to fish a wreck from the Umpqua river bank. If she is that irresponsible behind the wheel of a car which is considered a deadly weapon in the courts of pretty much all of the 50 states she should not drive! instead of feeling guilt you should be feeling anger at her for putting other people at risk for her tantrum! I could care less WHAT set her off. By your photo I would have to guess that you are a member of the fire fighting community. If you live in Black Ice country even you know that when driving in those conditions you have to be extra careful! Emotions and hormones are no excuse for stupidity! 
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HER BAD NOT YOURS! damn caps lock.... Anyhow, so what the both of you got in a fight. We are personally responsible for what we do with our emotions no matter what. If I got pissed off because of someone taunting me and I hauled off and left and killed someone in the process the person who instigated me didn't let MY anger harm someone even if it was myself. Your GF needs a serious dose of WAKE THE HELL UP! If she gets man and acts destructively she has issues. Maybe a totalled car and two broken bones are the cost of the wisdom she acquired for being an emotional, well I really am at a loss for adjectives here that will not antagonize sensitivities but she needs to get a FRIKKEN grip. She could have killed one or more people including herself. My mom is a retired Volunteer fire fighter and paramedic and I have seen some of the stuff she had to deal with involving black ice. Nothing like having to extract the dead from a car that hit a semi tractor trailer head on after loosing control or having to fish a wreck from the Umpqua river bank. If she is that irresponsible behind the wheel of a car which is considered a deadly weapon in the courts of pretty much all of the 50 states she should not drive! instead of feeling guilt you should be feeling anger at her for putting other people at risk for her tantrum! I could care less WHAT set her off. By your photo I would have to guess that you are a member of the fire fighting community. If you live in Black Ice country even you know that when driving in those conditions you have to be extra careful! Emotions and hormones are no excuse for stupidity! Hormones? 
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HER BAD NOT YOURS! damn caps lock.... Anyhow, so what the both of you got in a fight. We are personally responsible for what we do with our emotions no matter what. If I got pissed off because of someone taunting me and I hauled off and left and killed someone in the process the person who instigated me didn't let MY anger harm someone even if it was myself. Your GF needs a serious dose of WAKE THE HELL UP! If she gets man and acts destructively she has issues. Maybe a totalled car and two broken bones are the cost of the wisdom she acquired for being an emotional, well I really am at a loss for adjectives here that will not antagonize sensitivities but she needs to get a FRIKKEN grip. She could have killed one or more people including herself. My mom is a retired Volunteer fire fighter and paramedic and I have seen some of the stuff she had to deal with involving black ice. Nothing like having to extract the dead from a car that hit a semi tractor trailer head on after loosing control or having to fish a wreck from the Umpqua river bank. If she is that irresponsible behind the wheel of a car which is considered a deadly weapon in the courts of pretty much all of the 50 states she should not drive! instead of feeling guilt you should be feeling anger at her for putting other people at risk for her tantrum! I could care less WHAT set her off. By your photo I would have to guess that you are a member of the fire fighting community. If you live in Black Ice country even you know that when driving in those conditions you have to be extra careful! Emotions and hormones are no excuse for stupidity! Hormones? acceleratitonin the drive fast hormone |
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Emotions and hormones are no excuse for stupidity! Hormones? acceleratitonin the drive fast hormone I see, well, that's acceptable then.  If he were playing the whole pms thing, I might have to take issue 
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Your feelings are normal.
It was not your fault that she was in accident, but you are a compassionate human being so you feel responsible. |
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Once I quit carrying the guilt for other people's actions, my life got a little bit easier to handle
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i'm not looking for like anything i just had to get this out there an i cant get hold of any of my friends or my lil sister to talk about this, but last night my ex g/f came over to hang out an we got into a huge fight an then she drove home pissed off an i just let her leave an about 20 mins went by an we got a fire call out for a PI an i didnt think anything of it an when we pulled up on scene it was her. she hit black ice an road her car 4 times on the high way an now she has 2 broken bones in her leg. an i didnt know what to do when we got there cause when i seen her face something came over me. idk but i help but think that i had something to do with her rolling her car. if we never got into a fight she wouldnt be in the hospital. should i be feeling like it was my fault?  I accept who I am and I dont feel any guilt
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