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Topic: ???? help
redneck29 Joined Tue 12/23/08 Posts: 321	Mon 01/19/09 02:13 PM
My ex is slowly but surly destroying her life. She seems to do nothing but run around and drink, when she is not working. At first I just sit back and whatched her do this and said to my self, she made this bed now she can lay in it. Now it is getting to the point were my girls are getting drug into it. When they stay with her, They tell me that both nights they went to the legoin with mommy. I have tried to talk to her about this, but all she says is its my life now stay out of it. I cant stay out of it becaues now my girls are invold. I dont want anything bad to happen to her because she is the mother of my girls. I just dont know what to do now. How can I get her to she what she is doing? Sorry for any spelling mistakes.

PATSFAN Joined Mon 12/10/07 Posts: 42782	Mon 01/19/09 02:16 PM
She needs to get help & you need to get those kids out of that situation until she gets better

MsCarmen Joined Wed 05/07/08 Posts: 6282	Mon 01/19/09 02:18 PM
She needs to get help & you need to get those kids out of that situation until she gets better I agree.

MisKim323 Joined Sat 06/28/08 Posts: 14563	Mon 01/19/09 02:19 PM
She needs to get help & you need to get those kids out of that situation until she gets better I agree....you need to do something quickly...and if it means not allowing her to see them, or seeing them under supervision, then so be it. You MUST protect the kids no matter what...and if she refuses the help, let it be her problem

TJN Joined Sun 12/02/07 Posts: 6745	Mon 01/19/09 02:20 PM
Like Pats said you have to do whats best for your girls. Maybe if you go to court and get full custody and placement she will see what she is missing and change her ways. I feel for you and know what you are going through, my ex is doing the same and I started the process of talking to a lawyer about it.

redneck29 Joined Tue 12/23/08 Posts: 321	Mon 01/19/09 02:21 PM
She needs to get help & you need to get those kids out of that situation until she gets better Trying to get the girls out of there but man the courts move slow.

Alzeimer Joined Thu 10/23/08 Posts: 2268	Mon 01/19/09 02:21 PM
If she is a risk for your daughters take the appropriate actions to keep them with you until she is better. She will hate you at first but if she gets better she will thank you after.

TJN Joined Sun 12/02/07 Posts: 6745	Mon 01/19/09 02:23 PM
She needs to get help & you need to get those kids out of that situation until she gets better Trying to get the girls out of there but man the courts move slow. take it out of the courts hands and get the police and child welfare services involved

Queene123 Joined Tue 06/26/07 Posts: 17056	Mon 01/19/09 02:24 PM
She needs to get help & you need to get those kids out of that situation until she gets better Trying to get the girls out of there but man the courts move slow. the courts may move slow.. but the police dont when there are children involved

MisKim323 Joined Sat 06/28/08 Posts: 14563	Mon 01/19/09 02:25 PM
She needs to get help & you need to get those kids out of that situation until she gets better Trying to get the girls out of there but man the courts move slow. You can go to the courthouse and tell them you need an emergency custody order, and if need be, the police will go with you to get the kids

redneck29 Joined Tue 12/23/08 Posts: 321	Mon 01/19/09 02:27 PM
thanks everyone for the ideas

ddn122 Joined Mon 11/05/07 Posts: 12855	Mon 01/19/09 02:29 PM
have the girls call family services on her.... btw ..Is she Irish?

rlynne Joined Sun 11/23/08 Posts: 2458	Mon 01/19/09 02:31 PM
same thoughts as everyone else...some people don't want help, the worst has to happen before they change and sometimes, even that doesn't work... do what needs to be done for the children's sake, least they get hurt or follow in their mother's footprints..it may well happen much sooner than one would care to think if action isn't taken now...

redneck29 Joined Tue 12/23/08 Posts: 321	Mon 01/19/09 02:34 PM
have the girls call family services on her.... btw ..Is she Irish? no she is not Irish

Unique2468 Joined Tue 10/16/07 Posts: 964	Mon 01/19/09 02:41 PM
My ex is slowly but surly destroying her life. She seems to do nothing but run around and drink, when she is not working. At first I just sit back and whatched her do this and said to my self, she made this bed now she can lay in it. Now it is getting to the point were my girls are getting drug into it. When they stay with her, They tell me that both nights they went to the legoin with mommy. I have tried to talk to her about this, but all she says is its my life now stay out of it. I cant stay out of it becaues now my girls are invold. I dont want anything bad to happen to her because she is the mother of my girls. I just dont know what to do now. How can I get her to she what she is doing? Sorry for any spelling mistakes. Try this: "i've noticed a few things that are affecting OUR daughters." <Insert the change here> and list em..."I understand you want to have your own life now, and thats cool. I think your a good mom. I do think these things are effecting them" <list things> "Which you might of not seen or noticed. I dont care what you do, just please dont let it affect OUR kids" Then when that fails, the next step is saying it again, with "I fear for there safety" Then speak to legal aide and get your options. AFTER you spoke to legal aide and our prepared to submit the documentation, let her know one last time to change, and then go with the advice of your lawyer. Since you saved the messages telling her this, your side of the street is clean and you can show the judge you tried and was as deplomatic as possable.

durtydduck Joined Wed 11/19/08 Posts: 1972	Mon 01/19/09 02:43 PM
She needs to get help & you need to get those kids out of that situation until she gets better go to court get custody andif it means you have to get proof? well there are ways leagally .

durtydduck Joined Wed 11/19/08 Posts: 1972	Mon 01/19/09 02:44 PM
its called child endangerment next time she takes them to a bar / club call the police...

Cutiepieforyou Joined Wed 10/17/07 Posts: 43085	Mon 01/19/09 02:46 PM
I feel for you. You are in a tough place right now. Only you know what the right thing to do in your particular situation.

redneck29 Joined Tue 12/23/08 Posts: 321	Mon 01/19/09 02:56 PM
its called child endangerment next time she takes them to a bar / club call the police... The problem is the legon has a family dinning are across from the bar, so as long as she keeps them on that side its ok. catch 22. Called and talked to the cops and they said if you she her drink and than get in the car and drive with the kids, call us and we will take care if it. the problem there is she lives an hour away and I cant go into the legon and watch her lol, think she would notice that

PacificStar48 Joined Tue 10/02/07 Posts: 13764	Mon 01/19/09 02:59 PM
My ex is slowly but surly destroying her life. She seems to do nothing but run around and drink, when she is not working. At first I just sit back and whatched her do this and said to my self, she made this bed now she can lay in it. Now it is getting to the point were my girls are getting drug into it. When they stay with her, They tell me that both nights they went to the legoin with mommy. I have tried to talk to her about this, but all she says is its my life now stay out of it. I cant stay out of it becaues now my girls are invold. I dont want anything bad to happen to her because she is the mother of my girls. I just dont know what to do now. How can I get her to she what she is doing? Sorry for any spelling mistakes. It would appear from what you say that she is taking minors to a bar and probably driving home under the influence. I would tell the local police her license tag number and description includeing your children and ask them to especially watch her for DUI. Cops do not like to find innocents in DUI crashes. They should move pretty fast on this. Especially if you have photo's of her exiting the bar with the children. My guess is you will not have the self control to not be enraged (no offense I would want to throttle her myself) so I would find a reputable investigator to get the proof. Word to the wise telling people what you are doing, thinking, or know of your ex on line. It is like printing it in the newspaper. There are plenty of people who read these sites for past-time and know important information to tell their low-life friends. It is a small world it is highly likely your ex-wife knows you are here. And so will her custody lawyer. Once she has a DUI you have a much better opportunity to get and emergency order for custody.