My cousin, that has a degree in child development, said that she thinks that I'm going to get it worse then normal because it never happened when my child was small. She said it needed to come out some time. Ugh.

I'm one not to spank. My stepkids...well my exes kids were not spanked. I don't believe in that either. I was raised that way though. When I heard the belt buckle I tensed up.

I stopped getting spanked when I laughed that my Mom broke the yardstick on my rear.

Im perfectly fine with parents that wont even spank. My brother is that way so I need to respect that when babysitting.

Yep, with ya there sister! My 10 year old daughter was the same. Now, she's either 2 or 20. Can't find a ten 10 year old in the bldg. anywhere.

Still, I feel SO lucky that as I got my grip being a new parent, she was ever SO gentle w/ me.
She's still SO great compared to the many I've watched w/ bated breath(for the parents mostly ). It's just that she was such an almost unearthly perfect angel until now.

I'm SO blessed; sounds as though you are as well.
YEA!

In Kentucky Behavior Specialist that had five kids that defined the term "hell on wheels" wrote a book that gained popularity only in the 70's. If his method's worked there was no evidence of it in his child who terrorized a Parenting conference there and was asked to be taken out of the hotel his behavior was so out of control.

With the number of children being injured with corporal punishment the courts came up with the idea of "parenting classes". It was a lucrative source for social workers and physicologists and parent's pending prosecution for various offenses from alcoholism to inexperience, or fighting custody issues latched onto them for leverage.

I don't know if this book was written on a research grant or not but money was popularly dispersed to suppliment salaries and many "ideas" were postulated by people with little or no actual experience in marriage and parenting..

Some were extream like John Rice's theroy that Satanism causeing sociopathic behavior but it was more likely teens in treatment quoteing then popular vhs horror movies which he more or less publicly admited years later.

There is a lot of "junk" science out there.

My personal belief is a two year old does not have the brain development to calculate a behavior as right and wrong or the concept of time and or most punishments. Time out works to some degree because the parent has to return to active parenting and or disrupts the behavior that was offensive. Example bordom, one child overwhelming another, hyperactivity related to fatigue, or allergic reaction, or hunger. A child who's needs are met is not usually disruptive. Unless the play is mimicing bad behavior that they see by others or on TV or video games. A small child will model behavior that works. If they know pitching a fit engages Mom to come in, pay attention (even if it is negative attention) the time out but is followed by hugs they will do it.

Good parent's either consiously or un-conciously tend to pay more attention and get involved with their developement; more positive reinforcements of good behavior, and the kid settles down.

Bad parents tend to lengthen the time out, drop off the hugs and explanation part so the child sees it as an incidental interruption like pauseing a conversation for a loud noise. Or they abandon timeout as too much effort and the child does as he pleases.

That sounds more like the manipulation of a jealous cousin. My guess is your child did go through the "no" stage and you handled it well so you just don't remember as being a big deal.

Yes teenagers are very difficult at times but it is just another developmental stage like any other it is just more acceptable to joke about.

Seriously, there was no "no" stage. It was all very pleasant.

I doubt think my cousin was jealous. She had her own child and a couple of older children. She also worked with children.

I'm wondering something. Is there any chance that the child maybe getting hungry when this happens?

Yes, I am blessed. I've had an easy child and still do.

I know there are a lot of people who don't believe in spanking, but I do, and won't apologize for it. There is a difference between spanking and beating a child. I will be the first to stand in line and defend an abused child.

You are going to have to show her who is in charge. Time out may work for some, but I never really saw that it helped with a strong willed child, which it sounds like what you may have on your hands. Popping that bottom end a couple of times and set her down somewhere. It's not going to kill her, and she will soon learn who is the boss.

I have seen too many kids gets coddled when they did something wrong and it only gave them reason to do it again.

Good luck!

DBH that is abuse. I never used a belt on my children, NEVER. Belts leave marks and bruises. I really like the 5 gallon paint stirrers for paddles. They don't leave marks and they have enough sting to get the point across.

right and wrong be the single most WORST thing to teach any child?

is it not most the "effect" of it's actions that MAKE anything GET SMART from seeing and feeling?

to make it most about "here to GET SMART", release the child from guilt of learning, as this is the most common method used by parents parents?

but if ONE SEE IT'S OWN ACTIONS THRU GOOD AND BAD, this will subvert the natural pure self, that wish no harm to itself and anything?

but there might be a time, when a smack from the child to another child is in order, so resist the urge to teach right and wrong, but rather TEACH HOW TO HEED WHAT REACTION EACH THING DONE MAKE, as a scientist discovering what dropping a glass to the floor create?

does it yet know the POWER OF IT'S ACTIONS?

NO, so the parent simply reponding with the MOST NATRUAL BEHAVIOUR, THAT THE CHILD WOULD GET ELSEWHERE FROM OTHERS, show it and prepare it for dealing in balance with all others as equals, not becoming overrun with trying to be "nice", as this teach to be fake and to manipulate all others for desired self respsonse, and can cause it to be easily decieved by many others along the path, and to be "too mean" cause it to recieve back from others not knowing what caused such respsone?

right and wrong is to not allow here to BELIEVE IN HERSELF?

right and wrong teach to believe in the parent, AND ONLY BECOME A EXTENSION OF SELF, which is flattering for a time, but will not guide her when and if you are not around?



right and wrong is already a condition when born, and THIS BE MOST WHAT A WISE PARENT IS TO REMOVE?

humans learn ALL from MIMIC behavior, as NOTHING KNOWN WAS NOT SEEN SOMEWHERE ELSE BY ALL?

it is cause and effect?

nothing in motion be in motion less something else MOVE IT?

the universe is created in this way?

the best thing one could EVER do for the beautiful learning mind is FREE IT FROM RIGHT AND WRONG, AS RIGHT AND WRONG WILL MAKE IT RESIDE IN GUILT, and there be no condemnation in ?

so mimic be one of the greatest tools to use for SHOWING the effect of any actions of a child "back to itself"?

is not the parents goal to teach a child how to be wise?

was not solomon wise?

but for some reason all things more each day are turned into GOOD AND BAD AND RIGHT AND WRONG?

if the parents goal be to be a "good parent", this will in itself cloud the view of true "prime directive" of the parent, which is AWARENESS of what each action EFFECT FOR ITSELF?

the less told to a child, the more it develope it's god given mind, and find it's true passions......

the power of doing all in silence with only BODY LANGUAGE TO COMMUNICATE FOR A SPELL OR TIME, IS MORE FUN THAN MOST PARETNS KNOW FOR A CHILD?

to mimic the CHILD TELL IT YOU "SEE IT"......

if it say no, then when she ask for something next, say NO, AND DO NOT GIVE IT, until you LEARN HOW TO MAKE YOU SAY YES?

any expectations of SOME GOOD BEHAVIOUR AS NORMAL, WILL DESTROY SELF CONFIDENCE, as contrary to popular belief, bibilcal text DOES NOT ENDORSE?

there is no BAD thing less the parent MAKE IT BAD, so the child lead the way as to what is to be discussed, NOT THE PARENT, as the parent that try to "teach" only create a non-solving child, the only one that gets lost?

is the parents job to most love?

NO! NO! NO!

empatically so, even thought it is the natrual thought that this is a good thing to try to do, but this will only MAKE THE PARENT DOUBT ITSELF, AND THEN NOT BE ABLE TO ACTUALLY LOVE?

the CHILD DECIDE WHAT IT LOVE, and WHO it love, BY WHO IS LEARN TO TRUST AND RESPECT, and these thing also contrary to common biblical belief, ARE EARNED BY THE WISE FATHER THAT SEE?

"seeing what happens" from each word and action is the only goal of any parent that wish to instill SELF BELIEVING in balance to any child...

you will love the child no matter what, so to "focus" on loving the child, will make the "feeling of love back from the child" as clouding the view, AS THIS FEELING IS FOR SELF, AND HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE CHILDS BEST INTEREST, allbeit the natural inclination of any parent to see and love the "feeling" of being loved by the child, but this will always subvert greater connection, CAUSING WAY TO MUCH PRESSURE FOR THE CHILD TO PLEASE THE PARENT, and this is not the goal, rather the child learning what please itself?

the parent is most to prepare the child for confronting all things IN THE WORLD, so passing thru them at home first, with calm and no big deal, all emotions, NOT JUST THE GOOD ONES, AS ALL TEACHING AND HELPING "US" BE SMART, will most prepare for good steady hands and heart and mind when appproaching all things later......

NOTHING THAT DRIVE DOWN THE ROAD PARANOID OF A WRECK, WILL DRIVE WELL, SO THE PARENT MOST TEACH THE CHILD TO HEED IT'S OWN NATRUAL FEAR, AND THERE IS "NO NEED TO GIVE IT EXTRA", and actaully more as the parent moves forward, the JOB TO REMOVE FEAR WITH MORE KNOWING ITSELF, AS THE CHILD IF ALLOWED TO "TEACH" THE PARENT, WILL HELP THE PARENT REMOVE IT'S OWN FEARS?

all things are for teaching, and allow the mind to use all things as a way to SHOW BACK the portait wished to be painted, AS THE PARENT IS PAINTING WITH IT'S OWN ACTIONS AND WORDS THE WHOLE PORTRAIT A CHILD WILL LOOK THRU FOREVER?

the less things a child see and is taught are bad, the least likely to be "drawn to it"?

the same as to give it a bag of marshmellows, and let them eat all they want, and learn when the "tummy' say stop, NOT THE MIND?

right and wrong teach knowledge, HELPING TO TEACH TO FOLLOW THE "SIGNALS" OR "FEELINGS" OF THE BODY TEACH WISDOM?

go with and see when the tummy say it is full?

AS IF THE CHILD IS A DISCOVER OF WHAT FEEL GOOD AND NOT FEEL GOOD?

too simple for the parent that wish to be the GUIDE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD BY COMMANDMENTS?

if god gave free will to all, then a parent that allow the MOST POSSIBLE, be the same as greater wisdom as well?

will not this no matter how "evil" it sound to the "religious mind", teach how to KNOW WHAT SELF IS, and teach how to handle self, THEN NO PROBLEM when the boys start coming around later?

the more she is TAUGHT TO ONLY pay heed TO WHAT SHE TRUST, will put the parent in the hotseat itself, and make one figure out how to CREATE TRUST, but is this not the goal?

the most pure thing anything have is pure want, not trying to be one thing or the other, so the LESS DEFINITONS of what be good and bad the best, less of course one think humans are natrually evil in nature, AND IF SO, THEN THEY ARE, BUT ONLY BECAUSE EACH COME NOT KNOWING HOW TO BELIEVE IN ITSELF, AND SO IS PREY FOR EVIL?

the most natrual response of self believed in, WEAKNESS AND STRENGTH AS IT COME, will lead most to the true friendship developed between child and parent, as a child most WISH TO LISTEN to what it respect, and it only repsect what it see is smarter, sensitive, trusting, more knowing than itself?

a child teach a parent true friendship, before any parenting ever need be used, as if there is true learning and friendship, then parenting only come into play once in a while, as learned along the way......

WHO AND WHAT DOES THE PARENT TRUST?

if it won't work for you, it won't work for her?

if a child leave the home where wisdom resided, and KNOWLEDGE that reside in right and wrong was not used, then no good understanding of how to heed self for all situations will be lacking......

just dumb ideas man....

peace

yea so if it gets out of hand you take a time out to catch your breath