Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: Why do some people do this?
Citizen_Joe Joined Sat 04/12/08 Posts: 4036	Sat 01/17/09 06:46 PM
well when your whole family is f'd up what do you do? Rebuild, before starting your own.

angelindarkness Joined Sun 11/25/07 Posts: 6492	Sat 01/17/09 07:34 PM
Why do some people still love the ones that use them, hurt them, and speak mean about them? The answer to that is as individual as each different person....

angelindarkness Joined Sun 11/25/07 Posts: 6492	Sat 01/17/09 07:34 PM Edited by angelindarkness on Sat 01/17/09 07:37 PM
duplicate

scoundrel Joined Thu 07/03/08 Posts: 5960	Sat 01/17/09 07:35 PM
Why do some people still love the ones that use them, hurt them, and speak mean about them? Maybe because they see any kind of attention as a good thing. Maybe because they lack the self-discipline to be tough on themselves, but it is needed. Maybe because each little bit of acceptance that is earned becomes a measure of success, and thus becomes a sort of security. Maybe because failure is not an option. Right, or wrong, the difficulties of this phase of the relationship can be outlived, overcome, and made better, with loving devotion. Giving up (finally!!) is hard to do. Being sure of oneself afterwards, is even harder.

May777 Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 1238	Sun 01/18/09 06:07 AM
Why do some people still love the ones that use them, hurt them, and speak mean about them? Maybe because they see any kind of attention as a good thing. Maybe because they lack the self-discipline to be tough on themselves, but it is needed. Maybe because each little bit of acceptance that is earned becomes a measure of success, and thus becomes a sort of security. Maybe because failure is not an option. Right, or wrong, the difficulties of this phase of the relationship can be outlived, overcome, and made better, with loving devotion. Giving up (finally!!) is hard to do. Being sure of oneself afterwards, is even harder. wow,..you really get this,..

angelindarkness Joined Sun 11/25/07 Posts: 6492	Sun 01/18/09 06:34 AM
Why do some people still love the ones that use them, hurt them, and speak mean about them? Maybe because they see any kind of attention as a good thing. Maybe because they lack the self-discipline to be tough on themselves, but it is needed. Maybe because each little bit of acceptance that is earned becomes a measure of success, and thus becomes a sort of security. Maybe because failure is not an option. Right, or wrong, the difficulties of this phase of the relationship can be outlived, overcome, and made better, with loving devotion. Giving up (finally!!) is hard to do. Being sure of oneself afterwards, is even harder. wow,..you really get this,.. ....So do all of you that have posted above. It can be any/or of the reasons listed in this thread and more.... Well done.

May777 Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 1238	Sun 01/18/09 06:43 AM
guess we all been there,.. done that,..got the t-shirt,..

angelindarkness Joined Sun 11/25/07 Posts: 6492	Sun 01/18/09 07:31 AM


Gypsy41 Joined Tue 05/15/07 Posts: 123359	Sun 01/18/09 07:58 AM
Why do some people still love the ones that use them, hurt them, and speak mean about them? No idea what or why??????????????? Its not me////too many out there willing t be good to me!!

Unknow Joined Sat 12/15/07 Posts: 41170	Sun 01/18/09 08:01 AM
They probably do not like themselves thus poor treatment is expected and tolerated.

buffry Joined Mon 11/05/07 Posts: 2647	Sun 01/18/09 08:06 AM
People follow patterns in their life and have a tendency to gravitate towards what makes them comfortable. In some cases, subconsciously they are used to certain behaviors and even abuse is all that they know. Some people find comfort in knowing what to expect. If they are used to being treated a certain way, it is all they know and keep coming back for more. Good question! Good morning all of you! I have missed you

niko1 Joined Sat 09/02/06 Posts: 44	Sun 01/18/09 10:42 AM
Why do some people still love the ones that use them, hurt them, and speak mean about them? Maybe because they see any kind of attention as a good thing. Maybe because they lack the self-discipline to be tough on themselves, but it is needed. Maybe because each little bit of acceptance that is earned becomes a measure of success, and thus becomes a sort of security. Maybe because failure is not an option. Right, or wrong, the difficulties of this phase of the relationship can be outlived, overcome, and made better, with loving devotion. Giving up (finally!!) is hard to do. Being sure of oneself afterwards, is even harder. Very well put... I think you hit the nail on the head.. JMO

May777 Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 1238	Mon 01/19/09 06:21 AM
People follow patterns in their life and have a tendency to gravitate towards what makes them comfortable. In some cases, subconsciously they are used to certain behaviors and even abuse is all that they know. Some people find comfort in knowing what to expect. If they are used to being treated a certain way, it is all they know and keep coming back for more. Good question! Good morning all of you! I have missed you GOOD ANSWER

mariposakc Joined Sun 11/16/08 Posts: 9614	Mon 01/19/09 06:36 AM
well when your whole family is f'd up what do you do? Rebuild, before starting your own. Learn to forgive. Purge yourself of all the past pain by forgiving. Doesn't mean you approve of what they did to you but gives you the ability to rebuild in a healthy way. Very hard to do. It took me years to forgive my father, but I am glad I healed those wounds. Still have the scars but not the anger.

Mr_Music Joined Wed 10/22/08 Posts: 10677	Mon 01/19/09 06:43 AM
Why do some people still love the ones that use them, hurt them, and speak mean about them? I don't. I learn from my mistakes and I move on. I let them wallow in their own toxicity.

Krimsa Joined Fri 04/25/08 Posts: 9960	Mon 01/19/09 06:50 AM
well when your whole family is f'd up what do you do? You get over it and move on. Your family is not you and you are not your family.

angelindarkness Joined Sun 11/25/07 Posts: 6492	Mon 01/19/09 06:51 AM
well when your whole family is f'd up what do you do? You get over it and move on. Your family is not you and you are not your family. They will always be a part of us, for better or for worse....

Cangel Joined Wed 07/09/08 Posts: 2799	Mon 01/19/09 06:51 AM
honestly it is low self esteem. They want someone that is going to treat them like crap, even if they are miserable they can be like well I am with blah blah. I have too much self respect for myself to let someone keep on hurting me and misusing me.

Krimsa Joined Fri 04/25/08 Posts: 9960	Mon 01/19/09 06:53 AM
well when your whole family is f'd up what do you do? You get over it and move on. Your family is not you and you are not your family. They will always be a part of us, for better or for worse.... That does not mean you are incapable of living your own life. Your family does not dictate who or what you will become. Only you take responsibility for that.

LilOlMeFromSD Joined Sat 01/10/09 Posts: 983	Mon 01/19/09 06:53 AM
well when your whole family is f'd up what do you do? Rebuild, before starting your own. Learn to forgive. Purge yourself of all the past pain by forgiving. Doesn't mean you approve of what they did to you but gives you the ability to rebuild in a healthy way. Very hard to do. It took me years to forgive my father, but I am glad I healed those wounds. Still have the scars but not the anger. Grats to you! Some people never reach the level you have. I know it was not an easy journey and I am proud of you.