Honestly looking for community input here...

I have fallen in love with her and she with me for the last year after two years being single. I am 50 and she 41. Yet, we are so different and that is the nagging little wonder that I have about it. It makes me wonder if these differences can eventually unravel the deeply heartfelt mature love that we have for each other. Please read on and lend your honest opinion... I know the following sounds cliche' but it is not!

She is relatively lovely Filipina who lived here for five years. Very sweet and true of heart and of an old world set of beliefs and norms found so rarely today. She strives to take care of me in every way and gets pleasure from that, the simple things like cooking and cleaning and elsewhere. Yet she has a high school education, does not conceptualize so well. She grew up poor and lived comfortably and lower income through her own efforts. She has pretty good manners and natural class. She is not refined, not well educated or intellectual at all though she has enjoyed museums we have gone to and is acquiring an appreciation for the beauty of nature. Importantly her parents had a healthy marriage and healthy home as is true of mine.

Please excuse me talking of my perception of myself. I was raised in moderate wealth though now almost a pauper from an extended divorce battle against a rich vicious woman. I have been raised with manners and my parents and grandparents were in "society". Not raised a snob as this may sound but certainly with a perception of class in terms of behavior not in terms of socio-economic place. I have college degree yet I know from others that my intelligence exceeds my degree. I more an education and appreciation of art, history, and love of nature. I have no desire to be taken care of as in the 1950's and that has been a little difficult for me believing in 50/50.

I have divorced after 13 years "the perfect match", highly intelligent, same socio-economic place, traveler, professed beliefs of honesty and open mindedness and love (that were not so) and her psychological unhealthiness and years of deception ended that. So I have learned the perceived alignment of match points is not valid for lasting love.

It boils down to two good people with true hearts from extremely different backgrounds deeply in love with each other with a big disparity in intelligence, culture, and job level. I believe in the strength of love to conquer all yet I still wonder about this never having had a love like this.

Love is not a mystery to unravel. It's more of a journey to be appreciated and enjoyed.

I hope this is the one for you!

if i took all the good manners and tact out of that post, what i'd see is a man who thinks that he is superior to his woman.

Nope..stay single and hit the nudie bars

Please do not judge one you do not know so harshly. Simply stating the facts. I do not believe in the superiority of one over another. That comes from insecurity, the need to be "better" than someone else.

I know the statement of the disparity could be interpreted by some as a perceived superiority yet it is simply as it is. She is a much better cook than I, she speaks five languages fluently ... does that not make her "superior"?

Please .... just looking for not hurtful input here.

i'm sorry, i wasn't trying to be hurtful.

however, what i read out of that was highlighting the differences, and you coming out ahead.

if you really loved her, would you even see all that? or care enough about it to write a post?

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i'm not sure what sort of helpful input you're looking for.

i do believe that love can conquer all, but only if both parties not only believe it, but act it.

Age difference, intellectual differences, etc do not matter when it comes to love. Love conquers all and stands out before anything else. It doesn't matter how much education you have, how many languages she speaks, how you were raised and with how much money....all that matters is the love you have for each other in your hearts. Good luck and I wish you nothing but the best.

even though you come from different backgrounds.. you calim you are no longer a part of..Yet you keep intact those things that made you who you are .The social events graces beliefs to a point Maybe your divorce woke you to the fact that there is more to life then "status" lets hope so.. Ass for the young lady.. I understand her plight better then most would think . ( ex Navy) and yes it "seems" to be a different social status, but actually there is not.. Different cultures have different levels of status what we percieve as "inferior" would be superior to them.. Get where I am going?... then you throw love into this mix? well look very carefully what you wrote.. "even though she " hey wake up man it sounds like you have a good woman there who is willing to share with you the things you like and willing to learn as time goes by . And then you have the take care issue? 50/50 there is no 50 / 50 in a relationship.. You put all your effort into it not half.. and she sounds like she is doing that ... And you too so I say go for it..

Its better to be hated than to let a woman make you look like a "nice guy"

Ok, pardon my upfront forwardness to your statement of looking for input.....but why does it matter what the rest of us think or the need to know our input on yours and her relationship. If you are both in love with each other then that is all that matters. Take it from there and enjoy your lives together. Be Happy in the fact that you have found each. Embrace life and your love.

I to have found a great love.
We are the same person...in everyway.
I'll give you the best advice I recently recieved

"If you over analyze the situation you will ruin it. Just go with the flow let Fate take over give God the wheel. Whats meant to be will always find away."

Love knows no boundries it doesn't know poverty or wealth it doesn't know intelligence or beauty. When you are in love all that matters is how you feel about the other person.

from 50 50 I mean I have little respect for men who do nothing while the woman does all the work. It is in terms of not being a lazy lout while the woman does all.

Gosh, I simply tried to give so personal background and now I am tagged superior elitist ... come on! I had no control over which parents gave birth to me and how I was raised nor did you.

What I see of many of the ex military guys with Asian wives is they use them like slaves to do housework and provide sex and DO NOT love them. Having loved this woman for a year I have seen plenty of these military + Asian marriages and they stink. They find a woman they CAN be superior over and do nothing.

"If you over analyze the situation you will ruin it. Just go with the flow let Fate take over give God the wheel. Whats meant to be will always find away."

Thank you. "Go with the flow" ... I agree ... but being so darn analytical ... here I posted to see if people feel like I do in my heart.

Best of luck to you.

sounds like you should let her find someomne who feels she is thier equal...you place yourself above her.

Are you suggesting they break up? Just because they aren't equal does not mean they are not compatible and shouldn't be together. Isn't part of love about finding someone who "completes" you and makes you happy? Why does love have to be so darn complicated?

absolutely...he obviously places himself on a pedestal she will never reach...if he feels hes above her those feelings will only manifest themselves deeper...when one partner feels somehow superior its doomed for failure.

I think it's unfair that you are saying their relationship is pretty much doomed for failure. Who are you to judge their relationship? Plus, you are only going off how he feels by what he's stating. She may feel completely different. Clearly they both feel some sort of spark if they are together and I applaud them for sticking it out. Obviously you would have ditched the girl by now. You are pessimistic by only reading a few comments he made. Unless you have been in their place or know every fact about their relationship, I wouldn't be so quick to doom it.

i think you can probably teach eachother many things........if you are both willing to learn and be open.

I think what he is doing is analyzing the situation. A + B = doesnt always equal C.

Its not always about money, education, or even manners. You can come from 2 totally "different" backgrounds but have the same morals.

Morally, are you 2 the same??? If so, then that makes for more than enough wealth, education and manners. More importantly, do you love each other????

Oh, and manners can be taught. Education can be bought.....but morals and love cannot!!