Topic: How do you know?
rlynne's photo
Fri 01/16/09 07:23 AM
you don't...simple as that....

Mr_Music's photo
Fri 01/16/09 07:25 AM
Edited by Mr_Music on Fri 01/16/09 07:29 AM


I'm with Lex on this one.


You can't go by words, because those are just words, and there's usually an agenda behind them. The agenda usually involves someone wanting to "fix" or "domesticate" me. Sorry, not interested.

The thing that disturbs me is that you can't go by actions either -- turns out those are just as agendified as the words, if not moreso.


Preaching to the choir, my friend. I completely agree.

I realize that this may make me (us?) sound rather jaded, but when it's all you've ever been shown, you tend to see the pattern developing.

no photo
Fri 01/16/09 07:27 AM

:heart: How do you know if the one you love really loves you back?:heart:


Easy- you don't. The other party can talk up-and-down about how they "love you" and how you "complete them", but it'll take absolutely nothing for them to turn around and vamoose.

Beavis31's photo
Fri 01/16/09 07:28 AM

you don't...simple as that....

very profound.....

WallaceStevens's photo
Fri 01/16/09 07:33 AM
you mean you guys have never felt like the woman you are with LOVES you? I don't really buy that, you have experienced love.

PATSFAN's photo
Fri 01/16/09 07:33 AM
smitten When she goes out of her way to see you or meet up up with her somewhere & you can see how happy she is when you walk in the room & when she does something thoughtful for mesmitten

Mr_Music's photo
Fri 01/16/09 07:34 AM

you mean you guys have never felt like the woman you are with LOVES you? I don't really buy that, you have experienced love.


That statement might have a hint of validity to it provided I had a woman to be with. Based on prior experience, I still stand by my conviction.

rlynne's photo
Fri 01/16/09 07:37 AM

you mean you guys have never felt like the woman you are with LOVES you? I don't really buy that, you have experienced love.



feeling and KNOWING are not the same thing, I realize most people aren't too nit picky about word choice...but it makes a bit of a difference...just a bit :wink:

lilith401's photo
Fri 01/16/09 07:39 AM
Lexy, true, you can't go by words. My words of adoration and affection might totally go by the wayside as they are seen as empty.

However, once I show up at your door with my U-Haul and the shackles that I will need to keep you prisoner, well.... then you will no longer doubt my love. Unrequited matters not.....laugh

no photo
Fri 01/16/09 07:41 AM

I realize that this may make me (us?) sound rather jaded, but when it's all you've ever been shown, you tend to see the pattern developing.


Mr. M, I get hit with "jaded" occasionally. But it's just the other side of the "reality" coin. All I can go by is what I've seen and experienced -- and all I've seen and experienced is a lot of deception, manipulation, and innumerable attempts of someone trying to "improve" me.

That doesn't fit in with my concept of "love" --

no photo
Fri 01/16/09 07:41 AM

you mean you guys have never felt like the woman you are with LOVES you? I don't really buy that, you have experienced love.


I have allowed myself to be lulled into believing the deception, yes.

In every case, I was wrong to do so.



no photo
Fri 01/16/09 07:43 AM

Lexy, true, you can't go by words. My words of adoration and affection might totally go by the wayside as they are seen as empty.

However, once I show up at your door with my U-Haul and the shackles that I will need to keep you prisoner, well.... then you will no longer doubt my love. Unrequited matters not.....laugh


Ah, but you've always been the exception to the rule....

lilith401's photo
Fri 01/16/09 07:44 AM
I like being exceptional....whoo hoo!

MirrorMirror's photo
Fri 01/16/09 07:46 AM

I like being exceptional....whoo hoo!
:banana: :banana: :banana: :banana:

WallaceStevens's photo
Fri 01/16/09 07:46 AM
gawd, you guys! Women aren't perfect either, geez. I guess if you only see the crazy things she does, you won't feel the love at all. I hope a guy can still see my insecurities and short-comings and still know that the love doesn't stop.

Mr_Music's photo
Fri 01/16/09 07:46 AM


I realize that this may make me (us?) sound rather jaded, but when it's all you've ever been shown, you tend to see the pattern developing.


Mr. M, I get hit with "jaded" occasionally. But it's just the other side of the "reality" coin. All I can go by is what I've seen and experienced -- and all I've seen and experienced is a lot of deception, manipulation, and innumerable attempts of someone trying to "improve" me.

That doesn't fit in with my concept of "love" --


You ain't wrong. Perhaps I MAY be a bit jaded towards the whole concept, but then again, nobody else has walked a mile in my shoes.

If they had, they'd be a mile away and they'd have my shoes.
ohwell

Mr_Music's photo
Fri 01/16/09 07:48 AM
gawd, you guys! Women aren't perfect either, geez.


Now THERE'S a statement you don't see everyday!

no photo
Fri 01/16/09 07:53 AM

gawd, you guys! Women aren't perfect either, geez. I guess if you only see the crazy things she does, you won't feel the love at all. I hope a guy can still see my insecurities and short-comings and still know that the love doesn't stop.


But it isn't -- or shouldn't be -- about perfection. It's about the idea of two people working together, being on the same page, trying to build something together.

Which, in my experience, simply never happens.

My experience has been nothing but women who start out by saying, "I love everything about you," while secretly intending to change all of it.

If that's love, I need a new dictionary.



lilith401's photo
Fri 01/16/09 07:55 AM
Lexy, that means you need to find a woman who simply doesn't have expectations. A woman who says what she needs and wants and means it.

I'll be there at 5pm. laugh

willing2's photo
Fri 01/16/09 08:03 AM
When she hands you the keys to the new Bass Boat and it's in your name.
She really does like fishing.
Camping in a tent is ok with her.
When she puts the toilet seat back up.