Would you risk your health or safety for someone you loved if it was them who put you at risk?

....Not because they wanted to, but because they truly did not believe they could change?

In a heartbeat. My life isn't that valuable anyways....

Agreed

Yes, because everyone deserves to be helped in someway at one time or another.

When I lose faith in someone to that degree, it's not long after that that I leave them, and as for health and safety, only to the point that I believe is recoverable.

No, you have to take care of yourself. You have to realize that you matter, that you are the most important person in the world to you. Respect yourself.

No, we are talking grave danger and perhaps, risk, that could one day lead to death. If you loved and cared for someone as family, would you risk that much?

Agreed. Realized.

Some of us are loyal, stubborn, conforming to a fault. A very few of us can almost be martyr-like at times. Shall we blame it on Judeo-Christian ethics, childhood attachment hunger, toxic shame, and early trauma?

Once all the blaming is out of the way, how do we release the rigidity and tenacity besides just "taking it easy"?

Doubtful, and especially if kids, who don't have a say, are in the equation.

Loyal in the face of evidence that such loyalty is undeserved?

Hmm...

http://books.google.com/books?id=6FsD0KjvilUC&pg=PA152&lpg=PA152&dq=Loyal+in+the+face+of+evidence+that+such+loyalty+is+undeserved&source=web&ots=lVyr_eLEDO&sig=LhidyQJHagDtzO-GmAhlBtVS1Zw&hl=en&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=1&ct=result


I think I'll hide now.

Silly.

I've known that I was an ACOA for about a decade now. Dad was a workaholic and quite possibly a compulsive cheat, too - although I have no real proof of that.

Mom always seemed to think so. Her self esteem wasn't so high at all - and she was most definately martyr-like. It repulsed me and angered me. But, look at me, years later, feeling compelled to relive the childhood drama in the hopes that one time, maybe it will be different. I know it'll never be different. Nothing changes if nothing changes.

I find the group support helpful. I'm new.

Thanks, I'll do the reading.

I spent nearly a decade in ACoA before "graduating", and both marrying and becoming an alcoholic, true to form. To say you remind me of me is well, a major understatement. For future reference, becoming the alcoholic is not a prerequisite for growing a spine.

Ha! I'm far too compulsive to ever mess with Alcohol or other substances. That much, I know not to expose myself to.

We all learn from each other. Reminders can be a good thing, too.