when someone writes to me, and poses the question in a sincere, kind way, i am a bit more understanding, and i try to respond politely with a reason that might be helpful to them.

however, when they create a thread, their very first post as well, and whine and moan about why i shouldn't be here, i've nothing to offer by way of understanding.

oh well. i tried.

i leave you with one last question. whats it to ya? lol.

I met someone here....and am considering logging off if it gets in the way of my focus on the new things in my life. However, my boyfriend encourages me to stay on the forums as he knows I love them. He is on here too but doesn't actively participate. Lots of reasons why one would stay I guess, but I do get your point about it being a dating site. It does advertise itself as such.

Don't get pissy because they have somebody & you don't!

what's it to ME?

what's it to HIM?? he's the one that has a problem with females who are in relationships being on this site - not me.

Good for you for your tolerance and patience. Forums of all types are bound to have the same issues raised repeatedly and the same questions asked constantly. Instead of the regulars giving the new people a hard time about redundancy the regulars would better serve the forum's interest by just ignoring the new threads. Let other new people answer the redundant questions and the regulars can just skip over to the next op question.

Mongo wonder why some people's opinions
Are more valid than other people's opinions
Mongo think anyone can say anything
And Mongo not care who gets pissy about it

whoa.

that was quite righteous!

thanks for the backup!

nope. not me.

if i walked into a bar where i knew no one, or a new place of work, or someone's house and needed to ask a question, i'd certainly do so in a polite and respectful manner and not expect everyone bend to what i demand.

if the question were posed in that way, my response would have matched.

Aquila wonder why Mongo talk in third person
Aquila entertained by Mongo's post even if they get worsen
Aquila looked at Mongo's profile and saw nothing to give a clue
Aquila wonder if Mongo is really a man or Mongo belong in a zoo

Okay.....here's my two cents on the topic......

If you see a member who interests you and you feel you want to chat with them.......read their profile first!!! Most times it will say, "here for friends, looking for love/intimate encounter/dating/activity partner" but it the other person is in a relationship, they will have it posted in their profile "TAKEN, found my match, off the market, just here for friends.

I have made many friends here on this site in the 21 months I am on here, and just because I am now engaged to someone I met here doesn't mean I will leave. TheCaptain and I are both big flirts with those who know us and we respect and trust each other to know that nothing is going to come from talking to people of the opposite (or even same) sex, that we flirt with.





{Okay.....that was more than two cents worth, but it was on sale, such a bargain!!}

eileen, i've been told by men, in private email, that i still show up on the mutual matches.

i don't know if that's true, but i can see as to how that would be misleading. i wonder if there's a way for those of us in relationships to not appear on those sorts of lists (to become less visible perhaps)?

I think the OP has to realize we all come here for a different reasons. Even given that, some peoples reasons change over time.

There are the people looking for the perfect match, some looking to get laid, others just here to talk/chat with people.

There is enough information you can gather from profiles/ talking to someone to determine what they are looking for. If you are still confused just ask.. most of us will tell you!

Lisa, I agree with you that I wish there was a way we didn't show up on Mutual Match and such, but even when you check out the MM feature it gives your headline and the first few sentences from your profile.

Just with that much info they can see that you are taken (the first two lines of your profile) and that I am taken (met my hubby-to-be right here on JSH). If they would just take that much time, five seconds worth of reading, they can find out if they should click "no" or just click off your (in general) profile.

But the lack of reading is another thread entirely...I made one up a while back and it still continues.

"shrug"
Cashiers, stylists, co-workers?
These are business transactions, not social events. I generally don't speak to these people beyond what is necessary to facilitate said transactions. Now if I found one of the above to be attractive and receptive, yes I would 'socialize' with them. However, as should be clear if I were already 'involved' I would not.

Some people are socialy dependant, I am not. I live alone, I have a few close friends. I long for a more intimate relashionship. I don't get off on being a socialite.

Frankly, I find the 'nobody is going to tell me what to do' response quite child-like.

But hey, whatever gets you off.

Cuz i want to, i have friends here...Period.

I can smell another post that's gonna get locked! & I ain't to blame this time!

Wow, I didn't know that. Cool.

because they can

that there is a good enough reason.


but people do have friends,you do know what them are right???you do know that just cause your in a relationship,you dont stop talking to friends.

you know what?

I like each of you.

We might not get along.
We obviously do not see eye to eye at times.
We might never meet.
But, dang it, I am GLAD that each of you are here, AND that you've got the schutzpah to post your comments and trust everybody to agree to disagree and be themselves.
Or else I would torch this place.
But, because YOU are YOU, this is a good place.
Keep on keepin' on!!!