"Because you learn that real love is not about domesticating or control
or possessing but it is about accepting someone and allowing them the
freedom and even rejoicing in the fact that they live, act, and
experience differently than you do."

And that is why I just ended a relationship with a commitment phobe
because I realize that I have a responsibility to myself and he can let
fear be his master but it is not going to be mine.

I have to admit, I'm a bit afraid of the words "I love You" because they
have been used on me inappropriately. I really like your concept
artgurl. There are people I am very fond of that I love and want to
tell them but I don'twant them to misunderstand. It doesn't necessarily
mean i want to live the rest of my live with you.

Well, Carol, I love the you, in you...


I love the "you" in most here...

What you all choose to do with it is your business, I feel what I
feel...


and it is no different for my neighbour, my romantic interests, my
children, my dog.

Ego denotes how it is perceived...and whether it is accepted

Love you too Lee and many others here as well.

SS, good point -- to so many people, "I love you" means "I can fix you."

But "fix you" always seems to mean "fix you the way I want you to be."
What do they think they have that qualifies them to "fix" anybody?

Fixer, fix thyself.

And people who need that much control are invariably people I would
prefer not to deal with, anyway.

I say "you hardly know me?" People jump the gun to quick to say "LOVE",
when it really is a deep interest, that might want to grow? Love takes
time, people need to realize that & take their time. Let their feelings
grow or run their course.
SLOW DOWN, BE SURE.

Hmmm..I've about gotten to the point where I'm afraid to say it
anymore..I mean, I can't even say, "I like you," without the guy
replying, "I don't want to get married!!!"

Well, who the hell said you did?

sad but true @ times.

Jess, you know I love you girl and even with my unhealthy ego I feel
your love. I think that is why our divorce rate is so high...there are
so many unhealthy ego's that don't know how to give and receive love.
Actually, our ego's are always trying to heal and fix themselves and
sometimes this thing called love comes along and shakes it up a bit and
it is time to take a leap. And i think we keep repeating our lessons
until we learn to let go of whatever defenses we have that keep us from
loving freely and that is an individual process. One of my defenses was
perfectionism, but today I am proud to say that I have freed myself of
that defense and am happy to be an imperfect woman who realizes that
everyone has their light and dark sides...some have more dark than
others. But the only person I am responsible for fixing is myself. I
finally found the light switch and truth is the real beauty. I am sure I
will never be all light and have no darkness but I can say that I am a
work in progress who will forever be improving.

I LOVE YOU ALLLLLLL>>>>SO THERE I SAID IT!!!!!guess none of u are runnin
away

Do a runner

that does depend on who its coming from... and i really struggle with
being mean/rude to people... so one time... i pretended to be asleep...
i didnt know what else to do...

omg tameka the shame of it

Some very interesting replies here.

The ones I identify to most are Sherries and Jess.

For anyone not sure of the intent of having someone say they love you
...ask them these two questions.

1..what about me is it you love.
2..how will you love me.

One thing I have learnt in life is to listen to the actions of a person
not the words they say.

I'm learning here.....

well saying I love you especially "online" comes so easy

i have once asked a guy "hows that goin for ya?" when he told me that he
loved me... c'mon... get a clue.. you have to know what to expect
before you say something like that... i feel bad when they say it and i
dont respond... but i dont want to say it just to please them...

No, it doesn't scare me, but I don't wanna hear it unless you mean it,
and I don't say it unless I mean it.

When I say I love you, it means I accept you unconditionally, and love
you for everything you are. And I really can't say that to everybody.

Well said Tameka!!!

Those are three very powerful words and to some seem to have a differnt
meaning. Some will say I love you to everyone after they have become
friends with them. Myself was not raised that way.

Sure I tell my kids I Love You each time we get off the phone or part.
And tell my family the same thing.

But as far as a man that I'm seeing. That is a different story. But
never in less than a week. And I don't understand the ones that tell
others that they have meet online but have never seen in person I Love
You.

For me when I do say I Love You to a man it is from the bottom of my
heart and I do mean those words. I would rather a man not say those
words unless he is in-love with me. I have been told those words and did
not repeat them back either. I will not tell someone I Love them just
because I felt like I should cause they told me that.

I just think before others tell someone else those words they should
mean them. But like I have said also to some just a figure of speech.

Yes those are sweet words to have whispered in your ear too. But they
mean so mucb more to hear them from someone when those words actaully
come from the heart.

If you've only known them for 2 months and they also give you silk
pajama pants that are bright red with white polka dots...I ran like
hell...