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| Topic: comments welcome | |
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not sure if this will sound like i am shallow or what.... i guess that is why i am posting for comments:
i met this guy about a week ago. he wants to start a relationship, start dating. this is a long term goal of mine, however certain reg flags: 1) he is a struggling writer- struggling in that he moved in with his mother. now i am far from a "material Girl" and i am not looking for anyone to support me- i have a GREAT job---- but i am not wanting to support anyone either! 2) he already said i love you 3) he did not offer to carry something to the car for me am i being stupid? comments welcome (this was a short version- did not want to go into get detail) |
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#2 would scare me
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my red flags are normaly delayed, and this one is screaming to me:
 RUN AWAY!! RUN AWAY!!!
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main thing is: when he looks into my eyes i do not feel like he is seeing the woman of his dreams-- almost like he sees a question and is forcing himself
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RUN.......................as fast as you can
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FAIL!
lol. |
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Not sure...what was it that he wouldn't help you to the car with? I mean if it was like a box of candy, no big deal...if it was like a load of groceries or a big bag of dog food, he either isn't a polite guy...or lacks some serious decency skills...
More so, does he depend on you to buy things or implies that in any way? |
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He says he loves you after just meeting you a week ago! That in itself is a red flag! Don't give up on him, just be on your guard!
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#1 and #2 say enough before you even get to #3. Really...unless your still 18-21 and going to college, theres no reason you should still be living with momma.
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Not sure...what was it that he wouldn't help you to the car with? I mean if it was like a box of candy, no big deal...if it was like a load of groceries or a big bag of dog food, he either isn't a polite guy...or lacks some serious decency skills... More so, does he depend on you to buy things or implies that in any way? 2 bottles of wine...walking to a friend's apt in the same complex, it was a walk but not too far |
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Edited by
jacaspian
on
Mon 01/12/09 08:38 PM
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If interested in him - you should take it real, real, real, slow....
Said I love you within the first week? Red Flag... His mother is probably driving him nuts.... Ah, the blank infamous stare into oblivion... I am sure we all have seen that look before... Just before we get royally burned... Run, run like the wind, and whatever you do, don't look back...
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 I love you in a week? No polite offer of assistance in the first glow of his new love? No current income of his own? Hmmmmmmmm... I'm seeing red flags, girl!!  Luck to you!! 
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Run like the wind!!!!! He is a user!!!!! Just me tho???
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Run like the wind!!!!! He is a user!!!!! Just me tho???
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my advice? Keep your panties on but don't be afraid to continue the relationship on a more platonic level. I agree with pats...# 2 would make me very nervous. and the eyes...well they are the true window into ones thoughts and intentions
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Oh HELL no!
He is Inconsiderate, desperate and struggling. If you want to keep him around to ride the bolgnia pony then fine...but nothing to "keep"
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Oh HELL no! He is Inconsiderate, desperate and struggling. If you want to keep him around to ride the bolgnia pony then fine...but nothing to "keep" 
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I can not tell you what to do here...lol. What I can do is ask you to take a really good look at what it is that you are looking for in a relationship.
The things you listed are the things that seem to upset you in one way or another. So, how important are these things? In five years, will these things still upset you? I tell people I love them all the time. Even people I've just met. It doesn't mean I'm madly IN love with them. It just means I love them like I love all humans. Or, it might mean I love a certain aspect of their personality. Or, I love something they have done (i.e. make me laugh, etc.). Do you know exactly what this man intended when he told you he loved you? As a writer, we tend to live inside our head/hearts. The smallest things have significant meanings. We value words and meanings along with all of the things that people in other professions value. To "love" someone means you are accepting them for who they are. (Unless he doesn't know the meaning of the word yet...which is possible). Ask him to define love for you so there aren't any mis-communications. As far as this gentleman and his financial struggles, well...that is up to him to change. Did he ask you to provide for him financially? And, why the heck would you think that you would have to take on that responsibility? He is an adult and capable of providing for himself, correct? Sorry, I find that I'm beginning to wonder, "When did love become a four letter word that people fear?" |
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Seriously...You know it isn't right.
Trust your gut...if you had to ask then you don't want to get "stuck" |
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# 3 is the real killer. If he is so self centerd that he is not paying attention to something as simple as helping carry something to or from a car for you...
I am very serious about this... this is the beginning stages of courtship, and he isn't on top of something as simple as that? It can only go downhill from this point on. |
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