I gotta ask...

There's a broad at work (yeah.. i called her a broad) that i don't consider a friend .. she's a frenemy. she's dramafied and brings her personal problems to the workplace which sucks. her husband works with us...

he's more of a friend to me. now i'm kinda tomboyish with some guys because i know i can be comfortable enough to talk football and stupid cheesy movies and stuff with them. he's one of those guys. its cool.. the frenemy doesn't usually seem to mind but we don't hang outside of work. i mean out of respect for their marriage.. yaknow? that would just be weird.

so...

last night... at like 1am...

guess who knocks on my door??? frenemy's husband. said he was sick of fighting with frenemy and wanted to know if he could hang a bit just to cool off.

so i let him in. i just couldn't say no. i mean i just felt bad for him because shes' a real winner (please insert sarcasm here).

we played wii and laughed and talked football until about 4:30am. then he went home and i crashed out.

when i told my sister and best friend.. they both looked at me like i was crazy for letting him in and are now afraid that frenemy will be psycho at work with me tomorrow.

should i have turned him away?

and if soo.. how should i handle psycho tomorrow?

i have never ever in my life been in this kind of situation. i mean i'm no threat to her. i don't see him like that and thats that... so what now???

geez thanks for the freakin help.

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad situation.


If she asks you then you can only tell her the truth

yeah really bad. i mean it was totally innocent. i only thought that he needed help and so i helped. yaknow?

and now i'm trippin that she'll be a psycho at work.

If she starts to get on your case...politely remind her that you have no interest in her husband beyond being friends with him.

If she continues..also politely let her know that if she wasn't such a psycho hose beast her husband wouldn't be leaving at 1 in the morning.

Question, though.

You said you don't hang out with them after work....how did he know where you live?

I don't think you have anything to worry about. Still, maybe you should talk with him about it and let him know (up front) that you two are just friends and that you only let him in because of that fact.

You were in a weird position, and it is weird that he came to see you. I say this cause I don't really know what kind of friendship you two have. Still, you did the right thing as a friend, but you should let him know that it shouldn't become a habit at all.

Well...if the dude is a complete idiot and when she asks where he went he says " I went over to...."...then you might have a bit of a problem.

lol he's actually given me rides to and from work before.

If confronted you need to try to diplomatically (IN FRONT OF OTHERS PREFERABLY! COVER YOUR ASSETS!) she needs to get councilmen for her and her husband because they have issues they seem to be having a tough time facing alone.
If she needs to escalate the issue tell her you will take it up with HR because she is creating a hostile and uncomfortable work environment (witnesses, witnesses, witnesses). You can raise a sexual harassment issue over this as well. Just use that as a last resort in case diplomacy fails. Her behavior in the event you get back lash over it can be construed as sexually oriented harassment because of her assuming you and her husband have something going on.

you strike me so far as being very intelligent and a very social and easy to get a long with type of person so choose your words carefully just so you do not put your foot in your mouth. I say this because all I have to do is open my mouth and my foot goes right for it. I have to guess you are not very emotional so I think you can weather it. The whole work thing bites!

Friends help friends and you helped a friend not make a mistake. Granted on outward appearances it may raise an eyebrow but I have women who are just friends of mine with nothing sexual going on at all. Who is anyone to judge your actions? It wasn't like you were trying to instigate anything or he was either. He needed to escape and you probably kept him from doing something that would have landed him in jail. Tread carefully so you don't get sucked into her bull sh*t.

Ah. Ok. Just curious.

i actually told him that if he loved her and wanted to fix that crap that he should suggest couples counseling. yaknow?

yeah thats scary.

Hopefully he tells her that he went to a strip club....that is believeable.

You did nothing wrong. It just may be perceived as wrong by the wife, because she already knows she is having problems in her relationship with her husband to begin with. But if you are friends as you say you are...she should just respect that. If you were a guy and he did the same thing, went over to your house and played a few games... talked... it would be considered no big deal. I have more guy friends like this also, and I think people need to respect that guys and girls can be very good friends without it being physical. If she tries to make an issue about it at work... then hopefully you do have a good HR person who will keep her under control.

Be careful you are not getting sucked in by him either! Remember this term, "Broken wing."
It is a tactic guys will use when a relationship is failing and they begin to look for alternate prospects. When they finally cut off on a relationship they play like a bird with a broken wing trying to go for the sympathy play. I cannot count the number of times I have seen this one work. Personally I despise weakness and weak plays and shake my head the sympathy sh*t works more than people give it credit for. If he isn't getting help when you advised him too then I would just say "you have been forewarned!" Tread lightly!

I think you should avoid her and not talk about it. If she asks you anything, defer to him and walk away. Fast.

Occasionally, you have to wait a bit longer than (literally) 10 minutes for responses.

He needed a friend right then & you were there for him. Just don't let him make a habit of it.

hah! redhen i like your new pic!!! :p

yeah here's an update just in case you're curious. she said she found out .. and laughed and laughed and laughed and then made up this cockamamey story about how he drank a red bull and couldn't sleep so he went for a walk.

i kinda stared at her and shrugged.. no point in callin her out on the lie.. if it avoids the drama ya know?

gotta ask...

There's a broad at work (yeah.. i called her a broad) that i don't consider a friend .. she's a frenemy. she's dramafied and brings her personal problems to the workplace which sucks. her husband works with us...

he's more of a friend to me. now i'm kinda tomboyish with some guys because i know i can be comfortable enough to talk football and stupid cheesy movies and stuff with them. he's one of those guys. its cool.. the frenemy doesn't usually seem to mind but we don't hang outside of work. i mean out of respect for their marriage.. yaknow? that would just be weird.

so...

last night... at like 1am...

guess who knocks on my door??? frenemy's husband. said he was sick of fighting with frenemy and wanted to know if he could hang a bit just to cool off.

so i let him in. i just couldn't say no. i mean i just felt bad for him because shes' a real winner (please insert sarcasm here).

we played wii and laughed and talked football until about 4:30am. then he went home and i crashed out.

when i told my sister and best friend.. they both looked at me like i was crazy for letting him in and are now afraid that frenemy will be psycho at work with me tomorrow.

should i have turned him away?

and if soo.. how should i handle psycho tomorrow?

i have never ever in my life been in this kind of situation. i mean i'm no threat to her. i don't see him like that and thats that... so what now???


... I don't think you necessarily should have turned him away, and I'm glad that you guys had a good time hangin, but ... the line definitely needs to be drawn now, you need to set the boundry clearly so there is no way that inferrences can be taken from you. Draw the line, leave it as it is, and all will be well.