THE FOLLOWING ARE ACTUAL STATEMENTS FOUND ON INSURANCE FORMS WHERE CAR
DRIVERS ATTEMPTED TO SUMMARISE THE DETAILS OF AN ACCIDENT IN THE FEWEST
POSSIBLE WORDS:

I saw a slow moving sad faced old gentleman as he bounced of the hood of
my car.

I collided with a stationary truck coming in the other direction.

A truck backed through the windscreen into my wifes' face.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my Mother-In-Law and
headed into the embankment.

In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telegraph pole.

I had been driving for fourty years when I fell asleep at the wheel.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I hit the pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehile.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

I told the policeman I was not injured but on removing my helmet, I
found I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow would not make it to the other side of the
road so I struck him.

The pedestrian had nowhere to run. so I ran over him.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with
a big mouth.

The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week.

The accident was due to the man narrowly missing me.

To avoid collision, I ran into the other car.

There were plenty of on-lookers, but no witnesses.

The water in my radiator accidently froze at midnight.

I was scraping my nearside on the verge when the accident happened.

I collided by a stationary tree coming in the other direction.

There was no damage done to the car as the gatepost will testify.

The accident was due to the road bending.

The other man changed his mind, and I had to run over him.

I told the idiot what he was and went on my way.

One wheel went into the ditch, my foot jumped from the brake to the gas
pedal, leapt across the road, and jumped into the trunk of a tree.

A cow wandered into my car. I was larer informed that the cow was half
witted.

If the other driver had stopped a few yards in front of himself, the
accident would not have happened.

I misjudged an old lady crossing the street.

Backing out of my driveway at 7am I drove into a bus. The bus was 5
minutes early.

I can't give details of the accident as I was somewhat concussed ath the
time.

I blew my horn, but it did not work as it had been stolen.

A street lamp bumped into my car, damaging it in two places.

The other car collided with me without giving warning of its intentions.

I considered no vehicle was to blame. But if either vehicle was to
blame, it was the other one.

I looked for the sign, but the more I looked, the more I couldn't find
it.

My brakes weren't working and the other driver wouldn't move over, or
let me pass, so I ran into him.

The other driver had not wound his window down, and I broke my hand
trying to hit him.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before
I hit him.

AND FINALLY

I saw two kangaroos copulating in the middle of the road. I hit them,
which caused me to ejaculate through the sun roof.

Forgot one:

I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal
joint went causing me to crash into the police car.

oh hell... where you did you come up with all of these???

hardest i've laughed in a very long time

I love this kind of stuff. And now I have to show this to everybody I
know!

GREAT !! LMAO

I got a couple more:

I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a
ditch by some stray cows.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I
reached the intersection, a huge hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision
and I did not see the other car which I hit at the last minute.

As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place
where no sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to
avoid the accident.

excellant as usual tom

Tom, another set of brilliant ones!! Thankyou.
Hi ya, Tessie!

OMG! Way funny, lol. No wonder insurance premiums just keep going up
and up and up.....

Toooooo Funny!!