I'm sitting here minding my own business when all of a sudden
my wife comes in the house, comes into the computer room and
goes "oh God". She said I'm spending two hours a day on the
computer. SHE IS ACTUALLY TIMING MY ASS!!!! I am finding it
unfucking believable because I can't believe that she knows to
the minute how long I'm on the computer especially because a
large part of my job is BEING ON THE COMPUTER. My wife is
jealous of a computer! If I could talk to her openly and honestly the
way I do here maybe I wouldn't be on the computer
so much but what do you do when the person you love is so
damn uptight? Don't get me wrong, I love her but I could never
talk to her about fucking, sex positions, what turns me on,
shit she doesn't even really tell ME what turns HER on. Now
she says she's gonna be nasty to me tonight and that I deserve
it. If that's the price I pay for being real with some friends
and speaking my mind then so be it. I only wish I could be
this open and express myself with her and not be judged for it.

nag, nag, nag...

I don't know how long you've been married Jimi, but I have to say, in my
never to be humble opinion...if the two of you can't be more open with
each other and communicate about your needs, you may be headed for
trouble in the future.

Hell, she's lucky you're not jacking off to a pornsite instead of just
runnin' your gibs with a bunch of down to earth peeps...


J.

Peace Jimster I'm out...long day very tired...enjoy the brew...hope it's
cold.

Billy Joel once wrote "I just want someone that I can talk to.
I want you just the way you are." I would be in heaven if
I had that. Jaime, now you got my ass thinkin'. Where
are these pornsites I can jack off to?! You got me to laugh
at a moment when I was really feeling sorry for myself. Thanks!

Jimi
I feel for ya my x was like that. i am taking college classes full time
online and he would give me hell for being on here. I also could never
talk openly to him about what i wanted or needed he would just look at
me like i was stupid an tell me i was or he would just walk away from
me. All i can say is hang in there.

Heather,
Thanks for the encouragement. Knowing I'm not alone in going
thru this shit means alot to me. You made me feel better.
I finally found a place where I can be myself. Isn't that
what really deep down people are looking for- someone who loves
and accepts you just as you are? That and good sex!

Is she a religious person? That may have something to do with it. Or in
the case I use to be in, is that to some women, image is everything. If
you talk slutty, they get turned off and don't feel comfortable about
it. They sometimes were sheltered from the storm sort to speak. They
were sheltered from the unpleasant things in life so they find that sort
of thing discussing.
she may feel neglected at times or because there's something on her mind
and she feels you should be available at all times. I'm just guessing on
this bro.

Good luck guy

I hear ya man.

Jimi, I really do feel for you buddy, but have you really ever tried to
stay off of the computer and talk to her? Now I am not coming down on
you at all...I am just asking..OK?? Maybe one day, spend those few hours
with her, talk to her, try doing something romantic..try getting that
spark back.
If you don't think its going to happen, then why are you even sticking
it out? I would rather be alone then be with someone that I can't be
myself with! You seem like you like things that she don't...like the
talking dirty, wilder sex, being able to communicate...seems like she
can't even talk to you about anything? I might be wrong but just by the
way you talk...it seems like you guys don't have that much going for
you? You might want to do some really deep soul searching and see if
this is the lady you want to be with forever...or do you want someone
that you can actually communicate with?
Whatever you choose, I wish you lots of luck! I just hate to see people
getting drug down by their mate esp when their mate isn't willing to try
new things....just food for thought :)

Hi everyone. I'm new around here, but I just have to say something here.
I feel the unhappiness in every word you type.

My son is going through the same thing with his girlfriend, whom is also
the mother of my two chandchildren.

My son is very social, males and females. He never goes anywhere that he
doesn't know someone. He retains friends,even from gradeschool she's
jealous and insecure.

So maybe your partner is too. Try getting out and finding something to
enjoy together. Relax. Laugh. It may lead to the communication you need,
and the security she may need.

Its only my opinion. Hope it helps and not offends. Good Luck.

welcome to the site narnia. i liked your comment and i think it is a
very good idea. it's not often but sometimes it is just a need for some
attention.

is their anything that she likes to do that you think the two of you can
enjoy together jimi? maybe try something new.

hey jim! u know, when i was married, my hubby would come home from being
at work all day, go upstairs and get on the computer..i knew that he
needed to unwind, and thats the way he chose to do so, but it just got
to be too much..i missed him!!!..he was home, but he wasnt home..ya know
what i mean? i remember getting so frustrated at times walkin upstairs
and seeing his big ol' head staring at the computer screen, hour after
hour..lol

maybe have a shorter time limit on the computer..or pick one day or
night to not be on it at all..find something to do that you both enjoy..

the sad thing about the net is that people, in general, imo, are not
nurturing their irl relationships..people are putting more time into
online friendships..of course theres positives to that, but the sad
thing is, is that online friends come and go..online friends just seem
to drop off the face of the earth...your irl relationships; those are
the ones that matter the most jimi..your wife is who matters the most..i
know u love her..so get your butt off the computer for a little bit and
go show her!

I agree totally with T, if you are investing more time in the computer
Jimi, then spending quality time, maybe there IS a problem. Maybe you
need to get refocused on what is really important and what isn't. It is
important to have an outlet for your thoughts...but a forum is only two
demensional - we aren't the ones that are planning to spend the rest of
our life with you Jim...and maybe you should be sharing some of these
thoughts with your wife. I also couldn't help but notice you said you
only knew your wife for three months prior to marriage, and maybe that's
part of the problem. Perhaps you did not spend enough time getting to
know each other emotionally the way you should have...relationships take
work, and I'm thinking maybe it's time for you to roll up your sleeves.

Take a walk, cook dinner together or go to a quiet restaurant. You need
to create an atmosphere where you are relaxed enough to talk about
things that are important to you both.

J

I agree that the puter might be part of the problem, BUT, communication
really is the key..I would seriously suggest you try talking to her
about this very thing, important things..and I'm not talking about
household finances and shit like that..but feelings and emotions, the
good kind, not the kind that bring recriminations with them..try to find
out what she's REALLY passionate about(not just on a sexual level) if
you don't already know. And let her know how she tends to make you feel,
not just what you've described to us, but positive feelings as well.
Does she ever say or do anything to/for you that makes you feel loved or
special to her, and do you do the same for that matter? lol...if she
won't open up, try suggesting therapy that both of you can go to..but if
she can't or won't communicate with you openly and honestly about the
things that REALLY matter, well then maybe it's about time to bow out
gracefully. I hope it don't come to that cuz it sounds like you really
love her or else you wouldn't be talking to us about it..but, if it's
bothering you that bad, you really should talk to her about this
too...yer not doing either of yourselves any favours if you don't. I
really think if you can get her to open up in non sexual ways, she'll
start feeling more comfortable about talking about more intimate things
as well...maybe, just maybe she doesn't tell you what turns her on cuz
she's got some "interesting" kinks and is afraid it might scare you off
or something lol..I have found that if an uptight woman can be made to
somehow feel comfortable in the bedroom, yer in for one wild night
;->....maybe there's something in her past that makes her feel like she
can't be herself around you, I'm not even suggesting it was caused by
you but let's face it, we ALL have our baggage we carry with us.
Do whatever you can, but don't waste the rest of yer life flogging a
dead horse either.

Oh for love and personal freedom..are the two mutually exclusive..??
WILL

LOL Will, I wanted to ask that but didn't

Divorce her she doesnt have your best interests in mind

he also wrote:"I can find a lover,I can find a friend I can have
security until the bitter end"-Honesty is such a lonely word.Truer words
were never spoken

hey jimmy, I totaly understand where you coming from. my ex
husband,whatever he was?used to be like that too. he also was wery
selfish, the kind of person that was always firt me, second me, third
me, and fuck the rest excuse my french....I was nerver able to tell him
what I was feeling, because he will just make fun of me.....So in the
end I divorce him, I am not advising you to do the same, but a
relationship without a good commuinication and honesty is like sex
without no foreplay..

Wish you good luck .......maybe is you will make you listen to you for
two seconds......it may work for you.

naging and contoling people suck!!!

yep

tretia I agree with you 100 percent