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| Topic: HELP..he asked me again... | |
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If your gut instinct is telling you not to do it then don't... Always go with your first instinct I say.... But it doesn't sound like a gut instinct that she shouldn't meet him. This sounds much more like a self sabatoging (sp) doubt. If I don't meet him I won't get rejected. If I reject him first, he won't reject me. If I stop things how, I won't get hurt. But you will never ever meet a person or find what you are looking for if you give in to that kind of thought pattern. Sure it's scary. But I think you should take the chance and actually meet him. Yea moondark, this is EXACTLY how i feel...I always do that in the past,even in real life, I tend to stop everything before I have a chance to be rejected or turned down...b/c I really have no faith in myself..I just feel that I'm fat and ugly and no one would think I worth anything... I know this is some VERY unhealthy thoughts and I really dont know how to change that...sighhh |
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Thanks for all your advices..I think I'll just meet up with him tomorrow..and I will surely tell u guys how it went..(OMG I'm REALLY nervous) And as far as the safety issue....I feel that he's a pretty sincere person...when I told him I don't know if i'm ready to meet him he said "ok" and didn't pressure me at all..it was just that I felt bad so i told him I'll think about it... He even told me that I can bring a friend, or my brother (LOL) if i'm worried... So to me it sounds like he's a genuine person and I never felt creeped out by him You should! Good Luck. |
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Although we've been talking on the phone a lot, it's not like we've been flirting or anything..when we talk on the phone we talk just like normal friends...so I don't even know why I should be nervous but i really am... Maybe your side is more interested than you're willing to acknowledge? Friends usually don't make other friends nervous. |
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If your are not comfortable to meet yet..then don't. Perhaps chatting on-line with a web cam would be a possible first step.
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Thanks for all your advices..I think I'll just meet up with him tomorrow..and I will surely tell u guys how it went..(OMG I'm REALLY nervous) And as far as the safety issue....I feel that he's a pretty sincere person...when I told him I don't know if i'm ready to meet him he said "ok" and didn't pressure me at all..it was just that I felt bad so i told him I'll think about it... He even told me that I can bring a friend, or my brother (LOL) if i'm worried... So to me it sounds like he's a genuine person and I never felt creeped out by him Then it definately sounds like you should do this! I think most men here would be thrilled to be meeting a lovely young lady like you! Be confident! |
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Take mase
,a shotgun,pistol,couple of knives,a shovel,and the army national guard if u want to but do meet him. |
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Take mase ,a shotgun,pistol,couple of knives,a shovel,and the army national guard if u want to but do meet him. haha you're funny. I guess some pepper spray will do =p |
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If your are not comfortable to meet yet..then don't. Perhaps chatting on-line with a web cam would be a possible first step. I thought about this too..but I always thought webcam chatting is weird...even when I used to use webcam with my friends from back home..... |
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Did you ever think that you might be disappointed in how he looks? Have you spoke to him long? Do you have a sense he might be "normal?" lol... then certainly give it a chance, just put yourself in your own comfort zone and do meet in a public place.
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If your are not comfortable to meet yet..then don't. Perhaps chatting on-line with a web cam would be a possible first step. I thought about this too..but I always thought webcam chatting is weird...even when I used to use webcam with my friends from back home..... Webcams r indeed weird but If u r interested but scared then that my be away to go.But I would take everything I said before and meet him one on one. |
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I was a totally goofy nervous wreck the first time I met someone from talking to them online here. And, I'm OLD!!! And funny looking!!!
He sounds like a nice person if he has offered time, to come with someone, to meet publicly, etc. It WILL be awkward, but say to yourself it's OKAY TO BE AWKWARD. If you do decide to go alone, just make sure ALL info is in someone's hands. |
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Go with your gut hunch! Something is triggering your warning system in your conversations with him.
You may especially detect a player in your presence by his words and past experience. Don't be the looser in the game! |
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I just looked at your profile. I cannot see why you think the little extra makes you think you are fat. You actually are pretty cute. What little extra can come off. It is not like you are corpulent or truly obese.
Don't look at yourself and think "I am a looser because I am so fat!" Stop fearing what others think of you. You are in school, take advantage of their gym facilities and work that thang till ya SWEAT and modify your diet slightly. The weight will come off if it is that important to you but it takes effort. You need to do something to build your confidence back. Martial arts is a great way and I do not mean learn Gracie Ju Jitsu. There is Judo which is one of the most Non-violent of the fighting arts and as you progress in training you will get your body tested more. You will build strength and confidence. Relationships are not any where near as important as self maintenance. Now a word from the dog inside me. "Woof, I'd tap that no problem. Woof Woof!" With that said by the dog inside of me, let me say this from the rational me, you cannot let inner negativity make you miserable. Self image needs to be maintained as well. From what little I have seen on your profile I would say you really need to do something for YOURSELF for a change! Look at yourself in the mirror and say "I deserve better!" Sitting on your hands wallowing in self pity is not the way to spend your life! |
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Better to meet and know--- then not meet and wonder.
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Looking forward to meeting you tomorrow :)
could not resist, have fun and keep smiling - if you don't get on (you'll know in 30s), just tell him your uncomfortable and leave. |
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I just looked at your profile. I cannot see why you think the little extra makes you think you are fat. You actually are pretty cute. What little extra can come off. It is not like you are corpulent or truly obese. Don't look at yourself and think "I am a looser because I am so fat!" Stop fearing what others think of you. You are in school, take advantage of their gym facilities and work that thang till ya SWEAT and modify your diet slightly. The weight will come off if it is that important to you but it takes effort. You need to do something to build your confidence back. Martial arts is a great way and I do not mean learn Gracie Ju Jitsu. There is Judo which is one of the most Non-violent of the fighting arts and as you progress in training you will get your body tested more. You will build strength and confidence. Relationships are not any where near as important as self maintenance. Now a word from the dog inside me. "Woof, I'd tap that no problem. Woof Woof!" With that said by the dog inside of me, let me say this from the rational me, you cannot let inner negativity make you miserable. Self image needs to be maintained as well. From what little I have seen on your profile I would say you really need to do something for YOURSELF for a change! Look at yourself in the mirror and say "I deserve better!" Sitting on your hands wallowing in self pity is not the way to spend your life! Thank you so much for your thoughtful answer...I really appreciate it..and yeah I have heard so many times about the confidence thing...no matter how many times my friends tell me I'm beautiful (whether they mean it or not) i just can't seem to believe it... But yea I will start going back to the gym since I've slacked off since a month ago and hopefully that'd help me rebuild my self esteem. Thanks again! |
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