their ya go, not well precieved here either

threats of any kind are always bad

This sounds more along the lines of don't talk don't trust don't feel. Everyone gets angry and when it's denied, it comes out in other ways.



I don't think it can be generalized that easily. It's more along the lines of stupid parents breeding and dominating their young, telling them what they can and can't feel. Thankfully, it's an upbringing that one can recover from.



If anger or fear (another shade of the same feeling) controls me, I'm in trouble. Otherwise, it is perfectly normal to feel these feelings, as they're usually legitimate warnings of a threat of some kind.

Yes, anger is an emotion just like any other. The key is to recognize it and not let it control you... you control it. It does not need to escalate into a temper tantrum or rant. One thing I find that works well when things are not going my way... ie: a computer or customer service issue... is to really turn it around and see it from the other point of view... the sooner the better... The call center people and the csr people at businesses, they are only trying to do a job, and if they had any control over the situation, they really want you to have a good experience, not a bad one. But stuff happens, and people with less experience perhaps cannot help you immediately... and you really have to remember that side of things. I am sure they would like nothing better then to fix it and have you off the phone.

*smiling softly* There's a difference between healthy anger and aggression and it seems you have found a good way to be assertive (healthy expression) rather than aggressive (unhealthy expression). Its all in the managing of it and coping with it. Not an easy task, by far, for those of us who have been taught not to express it or have grown up in violent or verbally aggressive environments.

When I was a kid, I used to put up with all kinds of ****. My reasoning was that it is normal to be treated in this manner, so I just tolerated it.

When I dropped out of school, I began to lash out, while still keeping most of it locked away inside. I wasn't aware of it at the time, but in hindsight, I was displaying symptoms of post traumatic stress syndrome.

Around the turn of the century, I became very bitter about what people had done to me, and VERY hostile if I perceived the slightest insult from a person.

Then it came to a head, and a choice dispute and the feeling of utter betrayal led me to have a complete breakdown and snap. I got into a very serious fight that would have landed me in jail, except that I had no history of violence and no criminal record.

Everyone looked at me strangely after that. Many admitted they were shocked at my actions...Shocked...I was always insulted by the ignorance. Stupid people can't comprehend that when a pattern of abuse has been established that it might have a deliterious effect on the mind of the abused. This is why there are so many serial killers in society, not because of TV, video games or wrestling (as I've been told time and again).

I probably still carry a lot of that anger around inside of me today, but I don't unload it on those that don't deserve it. Most people today would still describe me as pretty mild-mannered. I am most of the time, because people know to show me respect now.

But no one will walk all over me like that again. Nobody.