What's that old sayin'? I know where my hands have been but I don't know where that spoon has.

Thank you very much! After this whole thing started I realized why I dont post stuff on these things because people think that the way they parent is perfect! Noone is a perfect parent and if you think you are then you need to go see a psychologist

Nobody else said they were perfect. I tried giving you kind advice. You may want to take into consideration that some of us have been doing this a little longer than you and may just know what we're talking about. I started helping raise my nephew when I was 14 when he was born, and then after my sister died I have had him 90% of the time since then. Its completely possible that someone older and slightly more experienced might know a better way to HELP both YOU and your baby.

And believe me I understand that I take advice from people older than me all the time. But when you want to say Im emotionally abusing my child because what I said you took to literally...then thats when I do stick up for myself. Im not disputing this anymore. Im sure you have done a fine job of raising your nephew...I raise my son differently which im sure you do things with your nephew that not everyone agrees with too but they probably keep it to themselves because its your child not theirs to be the judge

Know it sounds like people are dogging on you but the consistency they are talking about is only with you. When your little one comes back home hysterical try to be patient and love him back to being good. That doesn't mean be a push over just in charge.

Probably the realistic thing is to expect that there is going to be some transition time. He is probably over tired and wired on junk food. He is just really confused by all the stress of switching around who is in charge. Especially if when at Dad and Grandma's that there are no rules and they play DIsney land.

He will catch on; bet he is smart as a whip. Have some confidence in him.

Have some confidence in yourself. You don't have to yell to be heard. Just be unruffleable when he starts being a little rooster. Lower your voice and get down on his level and help him focus on what you want him to do which is practice the family values in your home. That is all you are responsible for. If he learns that being bad gets him nowhere and being good gets him your love and respect and attention he will repeat it.

Fair warning if he is standing on his own power it is probably not going to just suddenly stop the behavior; it is natural that it will probably going to get worse for a while so don't get discouraged. If he throws a whopper of a tantrum just put him some place he can't hurt himself or hold him in a hug and let him rage until he wears himself out. It takes about and hour per year of age but it can be more or less. Don't let him shock you if he swears, or bites, or says he hates you because he won't know limits but he does know things he has heard which is probably plenty. Just refuse to yield from a position of calm control. Don't give him a show to entertain him or become a screaming brat that he can just tune out like a loud TV. Or stop because you have to go to work, or are tired, or just want to quit because it is hard because sooner or later he is going to have to see you in control or he will be. You are smart enough to know that isn't going to be good.

You might have better luck if you knock off some of the unhealthy habits so that he doesn't have a yucky smelling Mommy that is malnourished, over tired, and dehydrated which smoking usually contributes to like allergy headaches, colds, sore throats, ear aches, and anxiety from having asthma in the children of smokers.

It shows you are thinking about pluses and minuses that you made the post so go the steps I have EVERY CONFIDENCE you can do and turn the miuses into pluses. GOOD LUCK.

My worst habits are probably procrastination and speaking before I think. . .
It's a good thing i'm a fast runner. . .