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my grandmother has been in the ICU on the resperator for 4 weeks. they just gave her a tache after trying to intubate her several times and moved her up to the respetory floor a week ago. I can't get a straight answer on what the statistics are for ever getting her off the ventolator, all I know from research is that after several failed attempts she is looking at a long term thing. she had signed a do not resesetate order before segery and I know she does not want this for the rest of her life. but at the same time she is my best friend and I can't let her go!!! my family is split on what to do if they cant wean her and at what point they should say enough time has gone by. if there is any one with any knowledge on the subject that could give me a staight answer I would love to hear from you. it seems like the nurses all just want to give you the possitive and not the whole picture! I miss her sooooo much rite now and it's hard to see her like this......she is off most of her sedation and can mouth words but she only says so much. she seems to be fustrated and theres nothing I can do.....
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my grandmother has been in the ICU on the resperator for 4 weeks. they just gave her a tache after trying to intubate her several times and moved her up to the respetory floor a week ago. I can't get a straight answer on what the statistics are for ever getting her off the ventolator, all I know from research is that after several failed attempts she is looking at a long term thing. she had signed a do not resesetate order before segery and I know she does not want this for the rest of her life. but at the same time she is my best friend and I can't let her go!!! my family is split on what to do if they cant wean her and at what point they should say enough time has gone by. if there is any one with any knowledge on the subject that could give me a staight answer I would love to hear from you. it seems like the nurses all just want to give you the possitive and not the whole picture! I miss her sooooo much rite now and it's hard to see her like this......she is off most of her sedation and can mouth words but she only says so much. she seems to be fustrated and theres nothing I can do.....   Love and Light
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Edited by
missy51970
on
Mon 12/29/08 06:12 PM
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First let me just say Im sorry ... its a tough thing to go through..
Second asking for medical advise here...bad idea.. JMO Third... if she has a DNR why is she on a vent to begin with...Was it because they did the vent for surgery or what? And now cant get her off of it? Im not clear on that.. If it were after surgery and she need assistance in breathing she has a DNR they should have never tubed her... I will pray that you and your family make the right choice for her...its hard in times like these to be unselfish.. Ive been in this spot with my 22 year old brother.... Best of luck to you |
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Although I probably can't give you the answer your looking for. My grandfather was on a breathing machine for nine horrible months. My grandmother didn't want to let him go, and as much as I didn't want him to. It was better that he was at peace. But she gave into our requests finally and he passed away shortly there after.
I really hope that you can make the right decision for your grandma. Good luck.
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I'm so sorry about your grandmother. This is always very hard for families - each of you has a unique relationship with your grandmother and their own personal ideas about the right thing to do. I hope if I am ever in this predicament, my family will respect my wishes - honor my living will, etc. If your grandmother can communicate in any way (if she is not in a coma) then ask her what she wants you to do. Also - hospitals usually have a Bio-ethics Committee. This group can help you come to an agreement and decide on the right thing to do for your grandmother. My prayers are with you.
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I was hoping that maybe ther was a DR or nurse with experience on here that could give advice... but to anwer your question technacly they didn't resesitat her they "treated her." her heart didn't stop and she was still breathing . but they said she wouldnt last 2 days with out a resperator. but she was still sedated and were not sure she fully understood
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my grandmother has been in the ICU on the resperator for 4 weeks. they just gave her a tache after trying to intubate her several times and moved her up to the respetory floor a week ago. I can't get a straight answer on what the statistics are for ever getting her off the ventolator, all I know from research is that after several failed attempts she is looking at a long term thing. she had signed a do not resesetate order before segery and I know she does not want this for the rest of her life. but at the same time she is my best friend and I can't let her go!!! my family is split on what to do if they cant wean her and at what point they should say enough time has gone by. if there is any one with any knowledge on the subject that could give me a staight answer I would love to hear from you. it seems like the nurses all just want to give you the possitive and not the whole picture! I miss her sooooo much rite now and it's hard to see her like this......she is off most of her sedation and can mouth words but she only says so much. she seems to be fustrated and theres nothing I can do..... If the hospital has a clinically trained chaplain talk to them. If not talk to the head of Social Services. These should all be done as a family. The hospital has protocols they must follow...HIPA and JACHO. |
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I WANT TO WISH THINGS WELL CUZ I CAN UNDERSTAND HOW NURSES AND DOCTORS GIVE YOU THE RUN AROUND...
I NEVER UNDERSTOOD HOW THEY CAN DO WUT THEY DO... I DONT WANT ANYONES LIFE IN MY HANDS.... |
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I am a nurse with a critical care background. As I said, there is no easy answer. "Redshirt's" suggestion about talking to the hospital chaplain or social worker is a good suggestion. Since your grandmother can mouth words and is off her sedation, perhaps she can respond to simple questions with a nod. Meanwhile - find support for yourself in dealing with this.
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thanks every one... it's just hard to judge when you've given her enough time to breath on her own. they keep saying it will take time. in the icu she tried to pull it out and now that it's a trach she seems ok with it so I know we need to talk to her about it but when? I still want her to fight and get better and I think she is able to express if she doesnt want it in.
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I am so sorry to hear this and will say a prayer for you and your family. We went through this with my grandmother...she too had said she did not want to be held to a machine and when we turned our backs, she took her foot (due to her hands being restrained) and pulled the vent tube out. It was what she wanted. I found through all of this that we were keeping her with us for our own selfish reasons....not for what was best for her. I hope that God guides your hearts and brings the right decision to all of you and may you all be at peace in your thoughts
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thanks for all your thoughts. she.. isnt in the restaints any more and hasnt tried to pull mit out again. I think we have to sit down as a family and talk to her and see what she wants to happen. as hard as it will be. and we'll see what happens. it's just hard when she cant communicate that well yet.
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I have a friend who was on a vent for 3 months and not expected to make it but she did come back. She is a lot younger than your grandmother I expect.
I agree with the folks above, ask the hospital social worker for help and the Chaplains, get all the help you can from whoever you can. It is a terribly hard decision. It ultimately is her decision though if she has the DNR and if she can make decisions now, ask her what she wants. It will be very hard to do, but it is her choice. So sorry you are going through this. I just had to make this decision for my dad last month, it is not easy.
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My thoughts are with you...
I took care of my Mother at home during her last stages of cancer & had to post her DNR/DNI on my front door so if an ambulance needed to be called, they could see it immediately. It's a tricky situation since she was ventilated for "treatment" & not resuscitation...but as hard as this is, please remember that this is HER choice & to make it for her would be selfish. Is she able to make notes on a note pad? |
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