Can you commit to a relationship or do you give up if it doesn't work out your way.

Now mind you there is no violence, no alchohol or drugs involved, no arguements, and no disagreements, but at the same time nothing happens. There is still love but not as exciting as it was when they first fell in love 21 years ago.


(This is a question I ask for a friend of mine who is married one year longer then me and is living such a life today and envies my marriage)

and before you start bashing me here on the thread. I am here for friends and family only and not interested in dating anyone. Just here for some chat once in awhile. I don't reply to unruly people if you choose to post such nonsense up. Thank you for understanding.

I am interested in your views mingler

I used to be able to commit, but those I want do not want me, I have been married and divorce 4 times and am done with commitment, so meaningless sex and endless persuit of it are what my life wil be about from now on

I wouldn't give up - if it wasn't as 'fun' as before, I'd do all in my power to make things great again. When and if I get married, it's forever, good , bad or boring.

If there is still love I would never walk away...when I commit I mean it 100%...Only when they tell me to go away do I finally let go

Giving up is a cop out unless it comes to a point you have actually tried your best to make things work. And the other person puts no effort within the relationship at all then it comes a time that one at time must make that choice to move on in life without that person within their life.

But as far as the excitement no longer being within a marriage or relationship but the love and everything else is. Only those two within the relationship can in fact ignite that spark again but they must want to and put and effort forward in doing so. By complaining about it will not solve the issue nor talking about it to everyone else. Until those two actually sit down and make sure the other partner is truly aware of what they are feeling and what they want the relationship to be like. Then it is only complaining for actions do speak louder then any words will ever do.

Yes I can commit... I was committed for nearly 22 yrs. In spite of the reasons... at first there was only alcohol involved... then drugs became involved... and then violence. And as much as I didn't want to have to end it for these reasons, there really was no choice. Was accused of not loving enough in spite of these issues... because we had been together for so long. But whether they materialize in the first year or the last year... they are still not things one should have to endure from any person who proclaims to love you. And if they cannot seek the help they need to try and make it right again... I would say it was them who did not honor the commitment. It was not an issue of is it fun anymore...

Yes I would commit again... but I would have to feel pretty secure that these issues would not revisit my relationship.

I offered my friend some tickets to Mallorca, Spain for a romantic vacation and to take care of his children. He said no he can't, but I hope he will reconsider for they really need to get some time off together. I hate to see them split up after so many years. They are like family to me.

We shall see

You know one does not have to go across the country to find the love again. But it is a good idea to get out of the everyday setting of life. And if they have kids yes have someone watch them if they in fact like the country a cabin that is isolated off to itself would be a great place. Yes they do need to get away and go do something they in fact enjoy together. Where they can sit and eat just them two and learn once again to really listen to each other. And be able to talk and laugh within a setting they can in fact put all of their attention towards each other and not work, the house or the kids. If in fact the love is within those simmering coals will ignite with a little one on one.