Once again thanks for your help everyone. I'll try and send some messages out and apply what you have all suggested.

What usually works with me is someone making a comment about common interests or values. A polite question isn't bad. Being clear what you want in a potential relationship is helpful as long as you are not graphic. As a younger poster I would expect that you may not have a huge response if the age of people I see in the forums is consistent with the age of members. Participateing in the forums does up the number of people who see your lead photo so it is essential that it is good and you have a variety of pictures and a well written profile.

All things I'm working on. The photo part is usually a problem since I'm not very photogenic and I don't like to script pictures although I'm starting to think I might have to.

and come on out to my bar where the drinks are on me, and the ladies, well you are on your own for that

I have a feeling this thread is starting to derail and I'm not helping it one bit.

Thanks for the offer. I'm a light drinker so you won't have to worry about me cleaning your bar out romeo.

I would ask what he real first name is first, then ask her about her hobbies, favorite music and stuff. Just go with the flow...

If you want replies you need to send off a lot of e-mails :). The more you send, the more replies you get.

So now to construct the perfect eye opener... Well son, that is an art only I have. If I gave away my secret, then everyone would try and be me and then I'd never get a response because people would start to wonder if bots are people and if people are bots. :).

Basically you need to cover 4 areas.

One introduce yourself
2- give them something so they don't see you as a bot
3-in order to get replies you must get e-mails out right? Typing may not be as natural to you as it is to me, so here goes. Create a perfect e-mail introduction center if you will. Save it in word, update as need be. Copy it. Paste it.
4-stop being picky. *I'm ****ed on this one* I am so picky! It's my downfall in life then again I won't message just anyone. A pretty face, a sexy body just isn't enough for me but if that's what you're after my friend I am sure there are lovely ladies just waiting to hear from you.

easiest way and quickest way cntrl v :) You're welcome. *I still won't share all of my success though*

too long (-_-)zzz if I did that, I would type more and waste more of my time. Dammit EYE OPENERS! ****ers need to pay attention! I rule at eye openers! Well at least I say I do anyway.

Thanks squonk. I see you're offering a statistical approach to online dating. It sounds like a good idea though I need something good to CTRL + v.

Statistics win man. Profile can hit or miss but we all know people are more likely to be superficial. You can have a perfect match sitting in front of you, she looks at your picture and is like hell no and you commented on every single part of her profile... A waste of ****ing time! Spending too much time on one person isn't going to get you talking to many. You can go into the profile when they respond. Remember, it's the reply you're after. The reply means hey he's not so bad, I'll take a chance and see where it goes. No reply means bot, liar, *****, not interested. You don't know and will never know no matter what you say. You don't control them, you only control you. Once you get the reply, you look back at the profile *it doesn't change* :) and then you go deeper. Need 2 to tango, gotta find the one who's real.

I gave you the premise dammit. Others have pretty much said the samething except *I like your profile* if a girl ever said that to me I'd be like huh what part or wait no bot! I like your profile is absolutely atrocious unless you like the blondes...

You can also make a few different e-mails just make sure they follow the premise. Once you follow the premise and you send out over 100, you will get 50 if it's good 10 of which will be bots. Unfortunately, I'm so picky that after looking through 10,000 profiles I may only end up sending out 20 now of which I will hear back from 7 of which only 1 has any real interest. Still 1 out of 10,000 isn't bad for me :). I'm too picky nowadays I used to just send pretty much anyone the e-mail oh god did that suck.

this is from my myspace Listing 1-10 of 1970
of which 49 are still bot like and haven't been opened because they're bots. All bots usually get deleted. I've also lived in 3 states during this escapade but like I said, I began to get really picky.


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Date: From: Status: Subject:
Dec 25, 2008
2:23 PM
♥Jenny♥
♥Jenny♥

Replied RE: Hiya
Dec 23, 2008
3:05 PM
♥Jenny♥
♥Jenny♥

Replied RE: Hiya
Dec 21, 2008
2:34 PM
♥Jenny♥
♥Jenny♥

Replied RE: Hiya
Dec 11, 2008
3:26 PM
Jenna
Jenna

Read FW: RE: Havent' heard
from you in a bit...
Dec 11, 2008
2:19 PM
♥Jenny♥
♥Jenny♥

Replied RE: Hiya
Dec 10, 2008
3:29 PM
♥Jenny♥
♥Jenny♥

Replied RE: Hiya
Dec 6, 2008
1:10 PM
*AsH*
*AsH*ashleigh ann

Read RE: how sweet
Dec 4, 2008
3:14 PM
♥Jenny♥
♥Jenny♥

Replied RE: Hiya
Dec 4, 2008
2:14 PM
*AsH*
*AsH*ashleigh ann

Replied how sweet
Dec 1, 2008
12:01 PM
Adriana
Adriana

Replied RE: Hiya

I usually ask if they are having a good day, and have a pleasant evening...I know it's lame

Here I'll give you a message that made over 100 replies in less than 5 days.

Since not many people have been responding to the bulletins I made, i figured i would send each individual who has added me to their friend's list a personlized message introducing myself. Like my profile says, I am in the Navy but I haven't left for bootcamp yet. I leave on July 20th, I would like to get to know those of you who would like to get to know me before I leave. Since these messages are only going to be sent to those of you who have actually added me, I question if you want to know me. So far no contact has been made, and in some cases I have actually been ignored. When I leave for bootcamp, you will have the option of deleting me from your account because I will be inactive for a very long time. So please do me a favor review my profile, and if you would like to talk then do so before time is out. I have no problem having penpals while in the Navy, I have very few friend's as it is so the more people interested in talking gives me something to do while serving active duty for the next 4 years

The biggest and longest question everyone seems to ask is why I joined the Navy especially when I support the groups that I do. So here's the story of why I joined the navy. It's filled with drama and it's pretty long but please don't judge me until after you have read the story. I know it's hard for people to understand or even accept others who have joined the military and disappear for a long time. I was once like this especially as a teenager.

It starts in 2000 when I got my first speeding ticket. I was also given a wreckless driving ticket. I disobeyed the law, got caught, and felt no need to argue. I was at fault so I accepted the consequences. I had 10 points added to my license within the first 5 months of driving. I was under my parent's insurance policy. I paid the fines and the tickets, and was told that surcharges would come every 3 months to my house as a bill that must be paid in order for me to maintain driving privileges. I had a girl friend back then as well as job, so I travelled back and forth. Sometime in early 2001 around February, I get a notice in the mail that stated I didn't pay my surcharge and my license was suspended. I put a check in the mail the very next day. Around 4 days pass by, and my girl friend wants to go to the zoo. So we head over to the little zoo in Highland Park. Coming back, I made a left turn on a yellow light. Sirens went off, and the cop asked me for my license registration bleh bleh bleh. So I give him my license and he tells me it's suspended. I told him the problem, he wrote me a ticket and set a court date. The very next day, my license was reinstated. I would receive a notice in the mail on the day it got reinstated 3 days later. I go to court and explain to the judge what happened, but the judge didn't care. He suspended my license for 6 months because I didn't have a license. I still had to travel to and from work everyday. About 4 months later, I was heading back to my friend's house when my cell phone went off. I went to answer it, but it fell off the seat. So I pulled into my parking space, and thought I put the car in park. I bent down to pick up the phone and my car jerked forward *obviously not in park* and rolled gently into a sliding glass door. The door shattered and a cop comes rolling around the corner not even within a minute from it happening. He wrote me like 4 tickets, I had to get a lawyer so I wouldn't go to jail. My license was suspended for another 6 months. I head off to college leaving my car in NJ. My stepfather's brother, sister in law, and my 2 step cousins move into my room. My step aunt needed a car to get to and from work. So she uses mine. They had financial trouble and pretty much went bankrupt. My parents were helping them, putting me through school, and then of course 9/11 happens. I lose about 8,000.00 directly out of my fund for college. My mom lost a lot more than that in the stock market but not enough to totally kill us. I come back from college for christmas of 2001. I asked to borrow the keys *without a license* to go and visit my girl friend. MY aunt said she would drive me since she had to take her 2 kids out to get school supplies. She drops me off and heads over to get some art supplies. She gets into an accident and totals my car. I didn't really care at that time because I didn't need a car for another 3 years being in college but the ramifications that happened afterwords hurt us financially. Since my aunt got into an accident uninsured on our policy, the insurance company got word of what happened. They see me with 9 points on my license within the first year of having it, plus the accident, plus an uninsured driver. This makes insurance for the vehicles skyrocket to around 7,000.00 per year. Luckily, my stepuncle put the insurance in his name to help out the problem. A year passes by, and my step grandfather dies. My step uncle has sustained the ability to start a new life, so he moves out. He doesn't repay the money he borrowed from my parents and they have a huge fight about financial issues. After that, the money began to really hurt us. My stepfather hadn't worked for 2 years now, and his knees were constantly bothering him. That's when I learn he needs full knee surgery replacement. He has to learn how to walk all over again. He goes through that while I am in school. Instead of my parents using money to support me financially at the moment when I am attending college, they get an idea that my stepfather can become a captain. They buy a boat, and then he learns that he can never become a captain. Instead, they get this idea that he can make money by renting out fishing trips every week/everyday by just inviting local fisherman to come out on his boat. I would have my own problems dealing with rent, food, and school supplies. I also got extremely sick while in college and needed to be taken to the hospital a few times. After my 4th semester, I learned I couldn't continue college unless I found a way to get money. So I came back home, thought I would find a job near my house and get a license, a car, etc... Maybe just take a semester or 2 off.. I get back to Jersey to learn, that the insurance they were using under my uncle's name expires. Since it expiring, and I still had my license without a car, the insurance company still asked for around 5,000.00 a year. Too much for my parents to handle, so I relinquished my license to the state. Which means no car. I tried to find a decent paying job close to home but the only place that accepted me was this little restaurant near my house. I had to find something within walking distance since no one would give me a ride to and from work. I only got 18 hours of work a week on average as a busboy. After 4 months of doing that, college loans hit me. I had to pay them back, making only 100.00 a week, I found myself unable to get out of debt or go back to college. So I went into the Navy. I'm sorry that was soo long.

So now that you all know the story of why I'm in the Navy to begin with, you can decide if I am worthy of talking to or not. We don't have much time, I figure one email a day or message would suffice in allowing you to gain enough information about me if you even want to.

Since I am not going to be around to talk forever, please make use of the time I have.

here is a response to that e-mail...


Date:
Jun 10, 2004 11:26 AM
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Subject:

RE: Hello

Body:
Well Charles, I most certainly feel your pain in the whole not having a lisence fiasco. In my case, however, it was totally my fault and due to my own stupidity.
You see back when I was a mere 15 years old, my friends and I thought we'd be "cool" and dapple around with some drugs. Long story short... he got sick fom the drugs and his parents made him blab to cops. There were about 5 of us involved, I being one of the 2 who got it the worst. My penalty? Drivers license revoked for 1.5 years, about $3200 in fines, and 2 years probation (which was cut down to 1 year because of good behavior and negative drug tests), oh yeah... I was also expelled from school (forcing me to go to Catholic school, which I LOVED so that worked out ok).
I had to withdrawl my mutual funds to pay the lawyer and fines... there went my college fund. Another thing that sucked majorly was that I didn't even have my license at the time of the court ruling (months had passed since I actually went to court and was 16 and some months by then). Now... one would think this year and half would start right away (seeing as how I was not allowed to drive with my permit either)... WRONG. Time went by from May to January (my birthday month) and I could not drive with my permit. On my 17th birthday I received a letter from the DMV stating that my lisence had been suspended for 545 days. So really... I couldn't drive for 2 years.
So here I am now... 18 years old, freshly graduated from highschool... and still not driving.
Sure, the day will come shortly (July 4th I will be become unsuspended) and I will be driving for the rest of my life, but I know I missed out on a lot. I missed out on being the first of my friends to have a car and drive them around places... I missed out rolling out the school parking lot with the windows down and the music turned up. Yeah, they seem like trivial little things, but sometimes it's just the little things like that that add a little extra smile in your life, you know?
Granted my whole "be a rebel" scheme was a totally stupid and ****ed up idea. For a long time my stupidity robbed me of so many things... trust, respect, family, friendes, money, driving, school, etc... but looking back on it now, I'm so thankful that it happened. I met some of the greatest people I have ever met (and probably will ever meet) at my new school. I've made a complete 180 and am a totally different person now. (and not to mention sXe)
So that's me. That's Melanie. That's my story. Thanks for sharing yours.


Now we have something to talk about. We have shared something, a story, a life tragedy, something. Like I said introduce yourself. I am positive someone out there didn't take the time to read all of that and I am sure I got other e-mails like this one

E: Hello

Body:
look kid u seem very nice but that guilt trip was not appreciated... u have 2 understand that people don't always respond 2 things not b/c we r truly horrible people but we don't have the time some people work full time and when they go online they have enough time 2 read their e-mail or messages or whatever then go on their merry way... u r lucky that 2day is my day off which i barely get... in the future u do not have 2 list ur life story in order 2 make people respond 2 u or like u just chill out relax have a cup of tea
~LiV~

but I still got the reply :). The reply is key!! No reply means they don't give a **** about you! Get me yet? I will not help anymore my secrets are sealed.

I usually ask a question first off. Not something too mind-melting or overly-philosophical, but something direct and to-the-point. Something like...

"Did you just fart?"

If the person you're asking the question to doesn't tell you to go buzz off, you just might have a keeper.

Too long? You mean too much effort?

Look effort doesn't win a response. If people find the person not to their liking just by the picture, it doesn't matter what the message says. You'd like to think the best profile is the one that people click on but let's be honest here the pretty girl gets more clicks than the non pretty girl. If the pretty girl has the words I want a down to earth individual she may never ever ever receive a good e-mail however this doesn't change how many people look at her. So your profile comes with your message on most sites *except facebook* and with that said taking your time to ask a bunch of questions to this person who has a greater chance of never writing back no matter what you write to them based on your looks and your profile is a guarenteed go **** yourself. You're not worth the time if you're not willing to write back a message after an introduction. If you want replies and to see who is truly real for you, you won't come off as asking too much upfront if you do you're wasting your time. It's as simple as that. You may think differently but facts show that's the way life is. If we see something that we find hideous within a profile it doesn't matter what is listed it's hideous no reply is sent.

Want an example here ya go. This girl has a std she writes questions to everything in your profile.. Do you really think I'm going to write to that? NO!

Another this girl has 3 kids she writes questions to everything in my profile do you think I am going to write to that? NO!

I could go with age next, I could use height for some, I could use drugs for others. We're selective on who we choose to talk to and generally it's not what is written in the message but rather the profile that allows us to generate a connection to see if we truly want to answer this person. So you want responses you need to talk to as many people as possible. A simple generic introduction letter is all that is needed. It can be long it can be short it doesn't truly matter what matters is the more people you reach out to, the better response you're going to get. You can't do this if you're reading and writing questions based on the profile you read. You know how many profiles I read a day? It's mind boggling, do you honestly think for one second that this one person truly gives a ****? I mean if the person is searching a dating site, they're messaging other users not just you. If you think you're special in some way shape or form something in your head is loose on one simple message.

*oh wow they took the time to read my profile joy they're fugly* You're not going to get the response. The feeling must be mutual, wasting time isn't cool!

jus don act like a stalker, keep it short and simple, a subtle compliment may help as well

Hey, do whatever works for you, I guess. A picture isn't enough for me to want to get to know someone. There has to be more there. An email that's obviously a form letter isn't going to do much to get my attention, either. But, if it works for you, go for it.

I agree, and points to the person who actually takes time to read the profile!

I tend to be leery of those without much in their profile although I do appreciate those who state their intentions straight up.

As for an opening email, I've been struggling with those. I just joined and got a little confused with the mutual match thing, but I figured it out. I was going with a "Seasons Greetings" thing and commenting about mutual interests...